Day 39...Untitled...

Unmotivated. That's the story today kids. BOS finished up the weekend 2-1 and 4-3 for the week. I thought I would be more jazzed up about it...Truth is, I'm almost over baseball until August. Like every year, baseball is exciting at first, then the NBA playoffs just take over your television whether you like it or not. My boys got swept by the Dallas Mavericks and you know what, I can't and won't say shit about it. They flat out played better ball than we did. Better shooting, better bench and Phil got out coached by Carlisle. HOLD UP A MINUTE. I'm going to go live and let you know how I really feel, right this very moment. About 30 seconds ago I received a fantasy baseball trade request. It is for my only rotisserie format league. It was also an auction league. I get a trade offer from this guy that ripped me for paying $10 for Jaime Garcia who he claims is a $2 pitcher. Of course, this fucker wants none other than Jaime Garcia along with Kyle Lohse. Both guys are pitching out of their minds right now and probably won't be able to keep up all year long. however, I think that St. Louis will win close to 100 games. So, after he asks why I rejected his offer I tell this guy that 1) I can't trade two of my starters, both from St. Louis for two OF (Jason Heyward and Jeff Francoeur) because I would have to pick up two SP on the waiver line and those run thin in a 12 team league and 2) FUCK YOU because you tried to talk shit about me paying $10 for Jaime Garcia. He replies that I don't know anything about baseball. He then adds that he has been watching baseball since "the day he was born" and could run off every stat known to man about any player since he was born in 1993. I obviously laughed and told him to go fuck himself. He replies "Give me a year and a player and I will give you their stats for the year." so, after I ROFLMAO I responded back and let him know of this invention that made him reading my insults possible called "the internet" and told him I could one up him and come up with anyones stats EVER for ANY year. But I gave him just one number. #616. I told him to look up that along with 1989 fleer and to read the end of the bat. After that, apply what the bat says to the end of my comments. I'm waiting for him to ask me why I'm asking him to add a "black box" to the end of every comment. for those of you that don't know, 1989 Fleer #616 is Billy Ripken. On the end of his bat, on the knob,it says "Fuck Face". Anyhow, guys like that get on my nerves. They make fantasy such a drag. You know, I don't like your trade. I don't want to accept it. Deal with it. Don't let me know that you know more about baseball than I do when you don't know what I know. Kids these days.

Anyway, since we're talking about baseball and since we're talking numbers. I figured I'd dip into the number of championships teams have won. An no one has won more than the Darkside. The Bronx Bombers, the Evil Empire...The motherfuckin Yankees are my team this week. I figured I would go Red Sox, Yankees then Mets...I hope I can keep up with the Yanks. I had pizza already so I'm already 1 for 1 with the food. Food possibilities are endless. I can be rude all week, drive like shit and complain about everything. New Yorkers are so negative. Even if you're not from there but move there. you become this black hole of complaints sucking the life out of those that pretend to listen to you. I can't wait to be that instead of being forced to listen to it. Yankees fan #1 does not fall under the stereotypes that I have pointed out above. all of these stereotypes are just my opinion, and though have been depicted in film for years and scientifically proven, do not fall under the category as fact.

I leave you on this note...Westcoast baby!

Day 35...Jinx

I'm starting to believe my jinx theory. See, every time I start to write about a team, things start to go as planned. Then, as soon as I get too confident, and start writing about the ass whoopings we will be dealing out, the tables turn. I should just keep my mouth shut, but truth is, I like to talk shit. If you know me at all, you know I will take every opportunity I can to talk shit. I don't care what the occasion is, I will say something if the situation allows. Sometimes, I take the NSFNG at work and nothing to say to him at all. So, I simply tell him to shut the fuck up. everyone laughs and we move on. Thus, if we're winning or beating you down, I will take the opp to tell you how bad it's gonna be and how much you suck ass. I won't be such an asshole to kick you when you're down (most of the time), but i will be right there to point and laugh when you fall, assuming you're ok.

So, that being said, even though we lost last night after a long rain delay. I am here to talk shit. The score is currently 11-0 and we're facing a two game skid. But, I'm going to talk shit. Now, I can accept defeat, and I will admit when we got our asses handed to us. Today is one of those days. So, I have to talk shit about something. Today, I choose to talk shit about two of the biggest assholes I have ever seen. And no, I am not talking about the McCourts. I am talking about Phil Mickelson and Ron Artest. These guys have nothing to do with the Red Sox, but they are on my list of current assholes who must win my respect.

We'll start with Lefty. I have never been a fan of Phil. I usually am a sucker for left handed golfers. They never had it easy. Golf courses just weren't designed for lefties at all. Then, technology took over and for a while there golf courses weren't designed for pros. now, they make the necessary changes so that length isn't everything. Anyhow, Phil, the lefty has never had it easy. what he does have is the looks, the game and the bag of tricks that is second to no other golfer. I'm not sure why I started hating Phil, or when I began to despise the guy. I just knew I did. then when Tiger's dominance started to take place it became a simple rivalry. USC-UCLA. Dodgers-Angels. Chevy-Ford. There was Tiger-Phil. My father said we were Tiger people. the line was drawn there. Then I had my brother who is the biggest Phil dick rider ever. i had to hear about how he was better than tiger, though another thing Phil never possessed was the World #1 ranking. A ranking Tiger held 623 weeks of his life. I will say this though. Phil could one day hold that ranking. I do not believe Tiger will ever hold that ranking again. Anyway, constantly hearing about him made things worse. Then there was the whole 2009 Players. I had recently acquired a 2007 Masters flag, a year in which Lefty won. It was for my brother and I was going home a few weeks later. So, I decided to sit out and wait for Phil to sign my flag. i didn't think it would be a big deal. He was a golfer. He wasn't "Tiger Woods" great, but a great golfer indeed. Boy, there was a huge amount of people waiting and I was in front. Me, Phillies fan #1 and Terp fan/player #1 were right there. Here he came. Sharpie in hand. He looks at the crowd and says i don't sign balls. Great, I had a flag, a Masters flag for a year he won. i was in. So, he starts to get closer and I genuinely get excited. I'm excited that my brother, Bud Light fan #1, was going to get a 2007 masters flag with Phil's ink on it. I was goin' apeshit. Here he comes. Two people away from me. Right next to me, on my left. Then without hesitation, he looks me in the eye, shoots me a quick half smile, reaches for the hat behind me and signs it. It was Terp fan/player #1's hat. I go to hand him my flag as it was now my turn and before I could even ask him, he is right next to me, except to my right side. Within 60 seconds, he is ten people away and fading. I can't even hear him joke with the crowd. But, he makes his way back towards us. He's here and I just know he forgot about my flag and was making his way back. He gets right in front of me. His DNA being breathed onto my flag, and he walks by me again. I look at Phillies fan #1 and he too got snubbed. Phil looks right at us and says "That's it everyone. I'm done." I had to hold back. I was pretty close to jumping the gate and shanking his ass with his fuckin' Sharpie. I couldn't fuckin' believe it. This guy that he was better than me. this left handed golfer thought he could diss me like that. I walked away and had some rough things to say about him. Fast forward 350 days. TPC 2010 was coming up and I had a game plan. I was going to order the same hat he wears with the pink ribbon on the side. I was going to ask him to sign it. I figured he would have to sign it. Maybe he thought we would just sell the Masters flags and passed on us. So, the hat was my plan B. I go to order the hat and get to the checkout window and fins that you have to be a fuckin' KPMG employee to order it. I immediately hate HIM again. So, we get to the tourney and we see him and he won't sign anyone that wasn't a hot chick or under the age of 12. This guy is larger than life on the tour. I'll admit I asked Stevie for an autograph, not even Tiger, and he declined as well. anyhow, this is the last year I will attempt to get a Phil autograph. I will go through many great lengths to get it this yr. I have plans C-Z this year. If I end up without a Phil auto, i will forever despise this motherfucker!

Ron Ron. Where do I start with this guy? I didn't hate him when he attacked the fan in Detroit. I didn't even dislike him when he was in HOU and gave us a run for our money. In fact, i couldn't wait to try and land him on the team. Then we get him last year and he has this great Twitter story about him finding a family in L.A. that he could hang out with. He saves us in OKC on Kobe's airball. He even drains some 3's to clinch the ring for us. then I hear the first thing I hated. He sold his championship ring. now, it was for a good cause, but c'mon man. Your championship ring. to me, that was a slap in the face of the Lakers' organization. Then the 2010-11 season happened. this guy just flat our drove me insane. He has that 'lame kid" syndrome that just gets it in his head that as soon as he gets the touch, he's puttin' it up. Alan Kordich syndrome. The only thing missing is his dad yelling "Pass it to Ron!" Anyhow, I think he cost us Game 1 against DAL. We're up 16 and he feels the need to start jackin' up shots from all over the court. That 16 point lead dwindled away as every miss turned into a basket for DAL and Dirk-a-Dirk. His stupid decisions are just becoming a bit much. His pimp slap of JJ Barea, landing him a 1 Game 3 suspension, was the last straw. Who knows, maybe we needed the spark. But, if things turn out the way I think they will. I will forever enshrine him as another asshole that must go.

Anyhow, I ranted and got the shit of my chest...I leave you with this. I found this song on World Star. It doesn't fit into what I wrote but this track is just fire to me...

Day 34..Quatro de Mayo...

So, I’ve been way too busy being a Bostonian to realize that I haven’t updated this blog. So, here I am. The Red Sox got lucky and drew the Angels as the first of two series this week. They have already swept them earlier this year in Anaheim. Anaheim happens to be in Orange County. So, why are they called the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? Well, it’s all marketing. How can you market the Orange County Angels? How would you sell the Anaheim Angels? Oh wait, they tried that and no one showed up. Why didn’t they stick with the California Angels? Why don’t they try the Disneyland Angels? They would instantly become little kids’ favorite team. They only thing selling out of Orange County are the Housewives. Anyhow, it’s no wonder we beat ‘em six times this year already.

As I just mentioned, we beat them four teams earlier this season in Anaheim. Tonight, we play game three of another four game set. We outscored them 20-5 in the first four games in Anaheim. Through these two at Fenway, we’ve outscored them 16-8. I expect the same thing tonight. We have Beckett going tonight who has been OK this year. He hasn’t got much run support and his ERA is 2.65 on the year. He’s 2 and 1 and will soon be 3 and 1. He’s pitching against Santana who has been less than stellar this year, and I look for us to not only win tonight, but wrap another 4 game sweep of the Halos.

My foodie-ship for Boston has gotten off to a slow start. I’ve been trying to watch my diet. I will definitely go have some chowder tomorrow before I head out to work. I got a comment from my only documented follower. One of the statements was that Manhattan chowder was better than New England’s version. Though I absolutely love New England’s version, I must agree with Toon. I definitely enjoy the Manhattn chowder when matched up against the New England chowder. I love red broth. What can I say? Anyhow, I thought about some lobster rolls which can be considered more of a New England thing. Anyhow, truth is, I must match my weight and I must watch my sugar. So, I will throw something in the diet to satisfy my Boston soul, but I can’t indulge as much as I’d like to.

It’s the bottom half og the second inning and there is still no score. I thought for sure it would be wide open already. Any second now, the score will be a lot to a little. Until then, I leave you on this note…

Day 31 - Strange Brew...

First of all, I am extremely excited that my run with Milwaukee is over. What a horrible team. Talented, but they just have a hard time winning ball games. They finished the week 2-4. They won 5-0 on Friday night behind more solo shots, but lost Saturday and Sunday. IF I would have played the pool, I sure wouldn’t have picked them. But if I did, I would have been out. I heard from a credible source that half of the field is out already. It really is a tough pool. My brother, Yankees fan #1 runs great pools. If you are interested, too bad. If I haven’t invited you already, I probably never will.

Anyhow, I went ahead and closed the voting out and my team is…WAIT FOR IT…WAIT FOR IT…the Boston Red Sox. I am extremely excited to cover them this week. I can’t wait to dive into Beantown. The food, the culture, the love for Tom Brady (had to throw that one in there), the attitude, the absolute hate for the Yankees (at least this week as things will change next week as they become my team) and lastly, the food. I know I said it twice, but I am excited about the food part. I have to take it easy because I am trying, or “trying”, to watch what I eat. Seafood galore. First thing is some chowder. I know just the spot for that here in Jacksonville. For some reason, I absolutely love the chowder from Singleton’s. Creamy, hearty and full of goodness.

There are some things about Boston I will not indulge in. First thing is the accent. I just can’t live with the accent. I had to stop watching The Town because the accent was a bit much. Second thing is the Celtics. I refuse to ever, and I mean EVER, cheer for those bastards. All you Boston fans, work with me here. You have to understand the hatred I possess for them. The thought of me rooting for them makes me sick. If that’s your team, more power to you because if so, you hate my team. The last thing I can’t do is the marathon. For obvious reasons such as nicotine addiction, my ongoing battle with obesity and the fact that the only time I run is when “out of breath” follows those words. I’m actually lying because I have been running a little bit at the gym, but it makes for a better satirical plotline.

So, stay tuned this week. I promise I will be more inspired. I will finish The Town, and I will stomach the accent along with a few bowls of chowder. I will try and run 10% of the marathon collectively during the week. Hell, I might even cheer for the Celtics as long as the line permits me to do so. I’m thinking of taking advantage of the gift us degenerates will get with the price being just right to fire on ‘em in Game 3 against Miami next Saturday. The NBA threw them a bone giving them a full three days off before heading home to host the Heat in Game 3. All I know is, I am fucking excited. Go Patriots! And Let’s go Red Sox…

I leave you with this…

Day 29 - Brew(ers) Ha Ha!!!

So, my Brewers are 1-2 this week. I last left you on Monday not so excited about the Brew Crew as my team this week. Let me tell you, NOTHING HAS CHANGED. They are so uninspiring. Milwaukee just doesn’t seem like an exciting place to live. I roamed the web and the forums and the blogs and every possible nook and cranny that the interwebs has to offer, but nothing came up revealing how great a place Milwaukee is. On a couple sites that offered lists on what to do when in Milwaukee, they mentioned a Brewers game as a thing to do. I mean, a fuckin’ Brewers game is some of the best you have to offer Milwaukee? When I queried great people of Milwaukee, Laverne and Shirley came up in the top 5. That’s what the rest of the US of A thinks, but your own people think that? Sad…So sad…

Anyhow, as uninspired as I am, the show must go on. My boys lost on Monday to CIN, as you already know. On Tuesday they won on three solo homers. Wednesday ended with a 6-7 loss in the 10th. Now, I will say one thing about the Brewers. They have some sticks on the team. Braun leads the majors with 9 dingers this season. Prince “I (h)ate my daddy” Fielder has 23 RBI, which ranks second in the majors and first in the NL. Rickie Weeks is a solid player at second base. I would say “scrappy”, but the show The League mandates that the term “scrappy” is reserved for white players. So, we’ll go with “solid”. Team AVG is second in the majors behind STL. The pitching staff is middle of the road, with Gallardo as our ace. Those last four words say it all. He’s simply an average pitcher with flashes of brilliance too few and far between. But, that is my team until Monday. It’s not too late to vote for my next team. BOS is leading the way. Voting is here: Vote for Kui's team .

Tonight, we travel to HOU for a three game set. YAY!!! I’m not cheering. I’m demanding some YAY in order to stay awake during this snoozer of a game. I can’t wait ‘til Monday. I hope inspiration comes via email, mail or a sign from God because being a Brewer fan sucks. I’m leaning towards secret fist pumps for the Cubs simply because misery is part of becoming the Cubs fan. It’s just miserable to be a Brewers fan. So, I can’t wait for Monday. I leave you with this…

Day 25 - Detroit WINNING...Next Stop: MILWAUKEE!

So, Detroit had the second best record of the week going 5-1. They were second only to BOS who went 6-1 from Monday to Sunday. It’s too bad I cheaped out on the .500 or better pool. I would still be alive. We obviously swept the “Can’t Win Shits”. We looked really good. Actually, THEY looked good as I have moved on. All of a sudden I realized I DID have a job. I did not have the urge to go and rob somebody all in the name of feeding my family. It feels good to know that I am a productive part of society. It feels good to know that my state has two good football teams in the Pack and the Badgers. I’m a fuckin’ Milwaukee Brewers fan now and I love beer. I didn’t need to be a Brewers fan to love beer, but now I really love beer. I love cheese. I fuckin’ love Laverne De Fazio and Shirley Feeney. I love saying YELLING “Schlemiel. Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!” I’m in Milwaukee bitch (somehow that just doesn’t sound catchy enough for LMFAO to make a remix especially for this town).
Anyway, my Brewers are catching a beat down right now. It’s 7-1 and it looks like we might drop to 11-11. 0-1 on the week and fading fast. I’m not sure who did what, but by the 1 in the run column, I would guess that nobody did. I’m afraid to even look at the box score. I can’t say I’m very inspired to write about them, but maybe, just maybe, they might do something this week. I just figured that I would roll with them since they were tied with the Tigers after the voting last week. So, I’m stuck. But, make no mistake about it. I will root my ass off. Just because I don’t blog about it, doesn’t mean that I won’t stick to my guns. Though it’s only been a few weeks, I have made it this far. Next week is up in the air as far as what team I’m rooting for, but let’s hope I make it through this week unscathed. I will open up voting and pick one of the big market teams. Voting is here: Vote for Kui's team . If the link doesn't worm, make it work like Craig's cereal.

anyhow, my boys made it look less blowout-ish. Final was 9-5. 0-1 and we're rolling downhill because that's how shit rolls. Milwaukee stand the fuck up. Let's get it. I leave on this note...

April 23rd - Day 23....Slackin' and WINNING!!!

I've been slackin a little bit, and my Tigers, well, they've been winning, not just winning, but WINNING! Charlie fucking Sheen winning. I left you on Wednesday waiting for the tigers to win the rubber match against the Starbuckiners. They won that game 3-2. Porcello pitched a beautiful game. Valverde picked up his 4th save and seems to be pitching pretty decent. He must have been jacked up on coffee. I mean, it must be in the water up there. they've been playing like they've been sniffing the damn beans.

They were off Thursday, and so was I. I kind of been getting into the NBA playoffs. My boys have been playing decent. They're up 2-1 on NOH right now, but we'll get into that later. right now, it's about the Tigers.

Friday was a convincing win 9-3. We came home to play against the White Sox, the other Chicago team. Though not as miserable, they're just not as popular. they do have some of the sweetest old school jerseys the game has ever seen. I like unusual shit when it comes to clothes, and those SOX jerseys were off the hook. That font was ridiculous. There should be a SOX font. Anyhow, those jerseys are about the only thing good about that team. Oh, I can't forget Ozzie. He has got to be the best press conference happy manager in all of baseball. But, enough praise about those bums from Comiskey. These guys are horrible. though we aren't the best team, these guys just flat out stink. "Stink on shit" stink. They're five games below .500. They don't play in the Eastern Conference of the NBA, so that ain't good. It's certainly not playoff worthy. Our bats ain't known to light up the scoreboard, but 9 runs on Friday, and then 9 runs on Saturday has me starting to believe.

As I just mentioned, we just beat the shit out of the CWS 9-0 tonight. Raburn had 7 RBI's in the last two games. We're 7-3 in the last 10, going 4-1 this week alone with one more to go. I might as well say 5-1 this week because we WILL complete the sweep tomorrow. I mean, the CWS, which also stands for CAN'T WIN SHIT, just, well, CAN'T WIN SHIT! I hope somebody picked them in the >500 or better pool ,which I just couldn't afford to play. Unfortunately, there is not a lay-away plan for these pools.

Ok, on to playoffs and football. Not American football, but FOOTBALL. First, the NHL playoffs are going on right now. I got one thing to say about that and that is: The NHL playoffs are going on right now. NEXT! Not "We Got Next" like the WNBA, that's up in May. I can't wait as they kick off in Manchester, England (sarcasm inserted here). On that note, my boys, Manchester United, are atop the English Premier League standings. We start the Semi-finals of UEFA Champions League on Tuesday. this could be our year. We're playing extremely well right now. Actually, we're playing extremely healthy right now, which is everything in football. If you stay healthy, you have a chance. I won't bore you much more with football talk. American's love for football stops at soccer moms.

NBA Playoffs. This is worthy of it's own paragraph or paragraphs for that matter. This year has been good. Some of the match ups are actually good. SOME of them. BOS-NYK was supposed to be good, but NYK just flat out doesn't have what it takes to compete with BOS. they miss too many shots. They play about zero defense. If you're not going to play defense, you have to score 95+ to win a series. Amare is a beast, and so is Melo. But, Amare doesn't play enough defense to stop anyone in the paint. Add a guard like Rondo running through that paint, and it spells trouble. BOS wraps up the sweep next game.

There are other matchups that bore me. MEM-SA is boring. SA looks old and run down because they're old and run down. MEM can definitely win this series. they have too much youth. Each game SA looks more tired and MEM can go up 3-1 with another win at home. Look for SA to fade and MEM to win in 6.

Another boring matchup is ATL-ORL. This is supposed to be ORL's series but ATL looks far better than ORL does. The Hawks look like they want to win. ORL is playing like they expect to win. Not in the NBA. Not because it's so competitive, but as long as those ref's are out there, nothing can be expected. They're job is not to ref games. No, not that at all. They're jobs are to control the game so that teams have a chance to keep it close. Long gone are the days of letting guys play. A foul in the first quarter is not longer a foul in the fourth. These guys make sure it's close so that people will watch. I won't get into too much about the conspiracy of it all, which is ALL OPINION BTW, but I will voice it.

DAL-POR is an upset waiting to happen. POR is just a better defensive team than Dallas is. Roy's robotic knees are starting to take shape. Batum is a bad motherfucker too. He has the wallet to prove it I'm sure. Aldridge and Miller are soild guys and this team will beat DAL in 7. You can't count DAL out as long as the second ugliest guy in the NBA is playing. that would be Dirk-a-Dirk, who is second to Turkoglu. My friend once said (and I do not in any way support this comment) "Turkoglu looks like god was going to make him retarded, but changed his mind half way through it." That's all I'm gonna say about it. anyhow, I think POR wins and loses next round.

MIA rolls. CHI rolls too. OKC will beat DEN easily as well. Which leaves my Lakers. boy, they are playing a little bit uninspired. I think they will beat NOH but I'm not sure they can hang with an OKC team as young as they are. We're up 2-1, but we look flat. Game 3 was a solid win. It's pretty simple. If we shut down Paul, or even SLOW DOWN Paul, we win. If we let him hit his jumpers, he gains confidence. After that, we're chasing that little fucker around and other guys make plays. We must tighten up. We must play like the Championship runs through L.A. because it does. If I had to pick a team to win the title, right this second it would be MIA. they are playing the kind of game that refs can't control. Fast break, knock down basket ball. If the current Laker team faced off against the currrent Heat team, we would be in trouble.

Anyhow, I have not forgotten that today, now Sunday, is Easter. Without Him, none of this would be possible. Not Playoffs, not blogging, not breathing. I will not get all preacher on you. I just want to say that I remember. So, excuse any foul language as it is just part of who I am. And I'm not talking to the readers because I could care less how you feel about me. If you read through all that bullshit above, you love it. I leave you on this note. But first, the reason I leave you on this note is because Yankees fan #1, also Jets fan #1, asked when I will be switching to the Darkside for a week. Anyhow, Yankees fan #1 is a Dead Head. So, this...

Day 20 - the process has begun...

So, apparently Asshole #1 was forced to borrow $30,000,000.00 from FOX to make payroll. That is the kind of bullshit that pisses me off. Apparently, Bud Selig had enough too.

Selig's complete statement:

"Pursuant to my authority as Commissioner, I informed Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt today that I will appoint a representative to oversee all aspects of the business and the day-to-day operations of the Club. I have taken this action because of my deep concerns regarding the finances and operations of the Dodgers and to protect the best interests of the Club, its great fans and all of Major League Baseball. My office will continue its thorough investigation into the operations and finances of the Dodgers and related entities during the period of Mr. McCourt's ownership. I will announce the name of my representative in the next several days. The Dodgers have been one of the most prestigious franchises in all of sports, and we owe it to their legion of loyal fans to ensure that this club is being operated properly now and will be guided appropriately in the future."

GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE FRANK!

I will leave on this note. This song makes me want to slap some Asada on th grill and toss a few back...

Day 20 - It's 420. Do you know where your children are?

So, I knew that last night was going to be rough after I basically celebrated too early. But, I figured it was Seattle and we would run right through them. Looks like I was wrong. We got our asses handed to us. That was a good, old fashioned ass whooping. They looked terrible, or so I heard. It was so fuckin' late, I didn't have a chance to watch it. I happened to end up on MLB.com at about 130a and found that the score was a shit ton to very little. I was genuinely pissed off. I mean, how did we lose to this awful club? I'm going to write the team and let them know that there are plenty of players that are willing to give 110% for league minimum all throughout the country. There must be 575 minor league teams. See, I know a guy right. well, I don't know the guy, but I "know' the guy ya know. If you have no idea what I mean, then most of this blog must be puzzling to you.

Anyway, there's this guy. He is affiliated with a minor league team in the state of Nevada. He also does shit for a developmental hoops team, but that's beside the point. I'm sure he could send me some standard def video on some up and coming ball players (or down and out guys like jobbers in pro wrestling) straight to my Youtube app on my Droid. So, though Michigan has it rough right now, I'm sure they have a pc capable of pulling up some scouting video and pick someone up. And really quick on the topic of picking up. How many Big Macs has Miguel Cabrera picked up lately? He supposedly put down the bottle, but if he did, he just picked up something a lot heavier. I remember wen he was in Florida, he looked like he was 14. Now that I think about it, he probably was, but now, he looks like he ate 14 babies. He is huge. He reminds of Prince Fielder. Not the Prince of Milwaukee, but the REAL Prince Fielder. King Prince Fielder. He was pushing about 295 and if he got any kind of bat on the ball, it was gone. Then there was Gibby. What a beast he was. You all know what a special place he holds in my heart. Trammell, Parrish, Whitaker, Morris and the rest of the 1984 World Series winning team. Then there were the two most famous face ever to don a Tigers cap. I'm not talkin' Sparky. I'm not talking Ty "I will spike you ankles" Cobb. I'm talking about Darrin "Doughboy" Baker and Thomas Magnum.

Doughboy was played by none other than O'Shea Jackson aka Ice Cube in Boyz n the Hood. That movie was one of the most culturally relevant, well "culturally significant", films o the modern era. That movie let the rest of the world know what was really going on in the late 80's and early 90's in Los Skanless. Shit was poppin' off. I come from a more predominantly Sureno neighborhood, but make no mistake about it. Shit was just like the movie. The modern day Wild Wild West. People died everyday from gang violence. Fights, gunshots, stabbings. The list goes on and on. Anyway, Doughboy was a fuckin' G. He was L.A. He was a typical boy in the hood. "Y'all wanna see a dead body?" That's my favorite part of the movie.

And then there was Thomas Magnum. Though he wasn't my favorite character a TC stole the show from him, Magnum was a different kind of gangster. He was a P.I., hence the name Magnum P.I., and he solved everything. He rode around in a Ferarri, rocked aloha shirts nd bermuda shorts with a 4" inseam, and wore no socks with his tennis shoes. That all equated to sleeping with every victim on the show. A lady rolls up, can't figure out what happened to her jade ring that her uncle found in Malaysia and is 100 years old. He would somehow, find the ring, catch the badguy, and wake up with the chick right before the credits rolled. Let's just hope he got his payment first. If not, the show is all for nothing and should be re-titled Magnum P.I. - Sucker Incorporated. Anyway, he was the 'stache of the 80's. I wonder how much cocaine was trapped in that thing. No matter what anyone says, Magnum was the Tigers un-official poster boy.



My boys better win tonight. I'll take 2 out of 3. Who wouldn't? It's a series win. rubber match tonight though we plan on wearing no rubber when we give it to those bitches tonight. Raw Dog. Hopefully I can find a good stream to watch it. I leave you with this song that got me through the 12.5 incline on the treadmill today...Happy 4/20 everyone...

Day 19 - Detroit Day 2

Apparently, I got my days mixed up. the count was a little off. I figured I could correct them, but who the hell cares. I'm not even sure anyone reads this. But, rest assured I got my days in order now. I didn't even have to go back and count. I started on April 1st. So, since today's the 19th, this is my, well, 19th day. Easy. Speaking of easy, my boys got an easy win last night. 8-3, no issues. We had one big inning and that's all you need against a sub-par team. I almost rushed down 95 South to head to the 24 hour Starbucks of CR 210 just to toast the the Mariners again. I would even go all out and get a White Chocolate Peppermint Cinnamon Stick with extra sugar in the tank.

On that subject, what is the obsession with Starbucks? I mean, I get the coffee addiction. I knew some people that were horrible when they didn't have their coffee. I mean, it was like two different people. They would glare at you at 7:55a on the way to their office, not say a word, go get their coffee, then come and ask how your day is. GTFOH! I don't care how your artificial day is because your real day, before the coffee, SUCKS! Anyhow, I get it. Coffee, some people need it. It's no different than cocaine or heroin. what I mean to say is the addiction isn't. I know some of you, if any, are shaking your head and acting like I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but think about it. The only reason why people aren't selling mom's wedding ring is because it's legal and available EVERYWHERE. You can go to Bubba's Bait shop and get meal worms, a dried gator foot back scratcher, and coffee. You can go to Winn Dixie, and not buy anything, and get free coffee (which can be clutch...I've heard). But, if you don' get it, you need it! You crave it. Then, you become this monster like in Lord of the Rings. Coffee consumes you! You do not consume it. It is just a legal drug and Starbucks is the Blue Magic of it all. There are other high end brands, but Starbucks rules all. People fuckin' line up and are willing to be 20 minutes late for work for Starbucks. There are places where there are two Starbucks in the same plaza in my hometown. At the beaches here, there were two across the street from each other. It's like crack dealers in the lows. All selling the same product and people lined up. I hear that in Seattle there are instances where there are more than 3 on the same block. It's madness.

Anyway, the whole point of the story was fuck Seattle and their Mariners. I like the city I guess. I have some family members up there. I like the throwing of the fish. I liked their whole grunge movement in the early 90's. I liked that Ice Cube said "the Lakers beat the Supersonics". But right now, right this very second, the Mariners are the enemy. Ain't no pitcher safe in Safeco. Ichiro you are the #1 asshole today (in Seattle, the #1 and #2 assholes are still the McCourts). See, my Tigers are there to win 3 straight. We're 33.33% there and tonight will be no different. Tonight we achieve....DRUMROLL....66.67%. FACT!

I leave you on this note...