So, we meet again. I have a couple things on my mind. More than a couple. My mind is running and I can’t keep up. Ok, it’s not that serious. But, I do have some things to talk about. Let’s just get the ball rolling.
Daytona 500 – What a fucking disaster. I’m not gonna rant too much about the Great American Race, but that race should’ve never happened. I know they want to make their money, but it had doom written all over it. Under the lights? Let’s not market it as some prime time night race. It was under the lights because rather than worry about safety, they were worried about money. Then you have idiots like Elliot Sadler who decides to try and race like a mad man one lap in and take out a few cars. Then you have the novelty act in Danica Patrick. Then the explosion. Really? So, I’m no fucking genius, but if they jet dryers (the JET as in JET FUEL and DRYERS as in DRYING the WET track) are out on the track, why are they racing? Obviously, it was because they wanted to hurry up and finish so they can land somewhere between saving face and making money. I mean, what if that explosion was in front of the stands? Someone could have died. I mean at the bare minimum, fans would’ve rushed out of the stands and people would’ve been hurt by the stampede. Bad move NASCAR, bad move…
Clipper Darrell. What is there to say about this guy? For a long time, he was the delusional, crazy and over the top loud super fan in the half blue, half red suit. If you’ve ever been to a Clipper game, then you know who he is. Everyone always wondered about his fanship. Why the Clippers? Truth is every team has one. And the Clippers, well, they had him. That was until a day ago. Clipper Darrell posted on his page that the team asked him not to be Clipper Darrell anymore. They actually said that he was not a fan of the Clippers, but a fan of making money off of the Clippers. I’ve been a Clipper fan for a long time. Let me tell you, it was tough. I grew up a Laker fan but as soon as a certain family member became part of the organization, I was in. I sat through 30% filled arenas just to watch them win 20 games. I’ve sat through them have players tell them they would not play if the Clippers drafted them, and you know what? I couldn’t argue with them for that. The games were hard to watch, and very few did. But Clipper Darrell was there. ALWAYS! He seemed loud, but that was because the Staples Center was so empty, you could hear a woman fart. Now things are on the rise. Clippers are winning. Seats are full and tickets are scarce. I get that the Clippers do not want him profiting off of their name. I get it. They don’t want him making appearances on behalf of the team without the consent of the team. Is it that they care that much or is it that they don’t like not getting a cut of it? Let’s look at this for what it really is. He was there when hardly anybody was. Now, you don’t need him. You don’t need him to be the face of the Clippers when, let’s face it, he was the face of the team for a long time. I don’t like this. I don’t like this one bit. But, business is business. I’m just a fan on the wrong end of the argument. Clipper Darrell, you will always be the number one Clipper fan to me. We have met many times, and every time we did, you left me wondering if there could be a bigger fan. The answer to that was simple. There could not! You will be known as Clipper Darrell FOREVER!
On a more refreshing topic, I will be in the ATL this weekend. I will be there to support a local 7-on-7 team that I help out with. The team’s comprised of some of the best kids in Jacksonville, FL. These kids are good. Most of all, these kids are hungry. Most of them want it. I wish all of them wanted as bad as some of the others, but as a group, they are hungry. They have a steep road in front of them. There will be 30, if not more, of some of the best teams in the region. South Florida has about a billion teams, and they all have some talent. Serious talent. The kind that you will see play on Saturdays and some even on Sundays. I have devoted some time to these kids and I am starting to grow attached to the team. The coaches are football geniuses. I hope to make a difference in one of these kids’ life. It’s my first tournament with the team and I am stoked. I might be more hyped than some of the kids. There is one certain kid that I have grown to almost love like my own. In fact, I do. He has made his mark in my life and I hope I am doing the same for him. I basically made him tryout and over the weeks he has proved himself to be quite the talent. He isn’t playing this weekend due to injury, but he knows who he is. And if he is reading this, I hope he knows how much he means to me and my family. We’re all in with you son.
Anyhow, I hope that all one of my followers are reading this. If not, then so be it. I mentioned this song earlier in a conversation an so I will leave you with it. Feelin' old school...
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Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
New year. New day. New rant!
It’s been a long time my friends. I haven’t had much to write about. Well, I have had a lot to write about, but I’ve been too lazy. A lot has happened since my last blog. A LOT! Things are changing. My life got a hell of a lot better with a simple word. That word was “Yes!”. She said yes sounds so cliché, but it’s true. She did say that. I’m not sure if she knew what she was getting into, but it’s almost too late.
Anyhow, like I said before, a lot has changed since the last post. I can’t even tell you who won the World Series. What I can tell you is that the Dodgers fared exactly how we expected them to. We had the NL Cy Young winner. We had the “should-be” MVP in Matt Kemp (will revisit this later). We had the never-ending divorce, and, we had Vin Scully. That’s it. The NBA lockout pushed NBA back to Christmas Day, totally fucking my plans. My Patties made it to the Super Bowl and were beat by Eli and the dumb look on his face. USC played for nothing. Tiger played like nothing. And one would think that I am angry about everything. Not the case.
I should have been surprised about my patriots. People were saying that they wouldn’t win 10 games. They won 13 regular season games. Won the AFC. Blah Blah Blah. We didn’t win the big game and I won’t even get into it since ESPN, NFL network and every other media avenue went through every aspect of the game a million times. I mean, I like to be informed, but breaking down a cover 2 or Tampa 2 to your typical NFL fan only makes them believe that they know the game of football more than everybody else. I had a conversation with a guy who tried to tell me that a Tampa 2 scheme doesn’t work without a fast linebacker. No shit dumbass. The NFL doesn’t work without a fast linebacker. John Maddenisms all over again. “The problem with that throw is the receiver will either catch the ball or drop the ball.” I had a guy tell me that the game would come down to who has the better quarterback and which defense plays better. That’s like saying this hold ‘em hand will come down to who has the better cards in the hole and which community cards benefit which player better. Captain fucking obvious. Though you see the resentment, I am not upset that we lost. I have celebrated three Super Bowl wins since my 21st birthday. So I CELEBRATED quite well. I know that we will contend next year and every year for the foreseeable future. I am not mad. I just hate that the average Joe is informed just enough to think that he is the next NFL genius.
REVISITATION…I won’t get into the stats of Matt Kemp or Ryan Braun. Ryan Braun won the MVP. Fair and square? I’m not sure. However, he is the NL MVP. He gets popped for PEDs. The whole PED thing is asinine to me. Level playing field? It is. They all use something to stay healthy. Bud Selig doesn’t care. He just acts like he does. All he cares about is ratings and money. Anyhow, Braun became the first person to win his appeal of his suspension. He won because a courier didn’t think that FedEx was open on Saturday night. Here’s my issue. Is this courier not sanctioned by MLB to be able to handle this urine sample? He should be. He should be able to be trusted with the sample no matter how long he has it. Even if he got it to FedEx on Saturday, it wasn’t getting delivered to anyone on Sunday. It would sit unrefrigerated until Monday. Where is the chain of custody? Since when does FedEx allow liquids to be sent? Why was he given this sample on a Saturday? I’ll tell you because MLB did not want this appeal to go any other way than it did. Evidence thrown out in appeals court for the win. MLB couldn’t afford for their MVP to be stripped of his award. MLB would have suffered more fan loss because of the known PED usage. It’s a joke. Not quite as funny as the ongoing McDivorceCourts, but still quite laughable.
Which brings me to this. Why don’t we let Mark Cuban buy the fucking team? He will spend money. He will make sure we’re in the news, and he will get players to come. Magic Johnson wants the team, let him have it. Joe Torre wants it. WTF? Anyone will do better than the two idiots we got. I’m all for the city owning it like a publically traded entity. I would buy two shares and print business cards that said “Jason Maikui, Owner, Los Angeles Dodgers” . Kind of has a nice ring to it.
My next rant could be a touchy subject for some of you. If I offend you, I apologize in advance. If my views seem unsympathetic, they are. BULLYING. Since when was this punishable by law. I mean, I can see if bullying became over physical. Then obviously, there should be punishment for breaking the law by physically harming someone. But, cyber bullying? I mean a kid tells a girl she’s a stupid slut on Facebook, then she commits suicide and the bully is facing criminal charges for making fun of her. It’s no secret, I’m fat. Fat as fuck even. I was called fat a million times. It never bothered me because facts are facts. I never once thought of killing myself. All I thought is if this motherfucker calls me fat one more time, I’m gonna smash his face in. Problem solved. I do not condone cyber bullying. However, I don’t think a kid should be punished for leaving a degrading comment on a kid’s Facebook page. If that kid commits suicide because of the comments, it truly is a sad story, but to charge 40 kids with that person’s death is bullshit. KIDS ARE SOFT! It’s ok for kids to cry in high school these days. Kid A gets whooped up by Kid B and makes Kid A cry, no one says anything after a day or so. In my day, if a kid got beat up and cried, you might as well transfer. You would be called crybaby the rest of their lives. Again, kids are soft. It starts when they are 5 and get a trophy when they finish in 37th place. I think that it’s society’s fault for crippling these kids with these assurances that their parents are NOT allowed to spank them. They are NOT allowed to talk down to you. If you follow the rules laid out by society, you know what you get? A kid that wants to end their world because another kid made fun of them. A kid that thinks they don’t have to do what you tell them because all you can do is snatch their iPod away from them. I see too many parents give their rotten ass kids whatever they want just to shut them up. I started a group that never took off like I thought it would. It was called ACT UP, SMACKED UP! Let’s face it adults, kids these days are missing one thing in their life. A good old fashioned ass whooping. That is what’s wrong with these kids. Adults have taken the approach that it’s easier to give the kids what they want then to actually deal with them. Again, I’m sorry for those who have dealt with the issue of kid’s suicide or attempts. It’s not your fault that society has dictated how kids must be dealt with. If I offended you, I truly am sorry. I just think that kids need to toughen up. And it’s our duty as the adults in their situation to do that for them.
Next item on the menu: my engagement. This will be done quickly as I don’t want to reveal too much about it. I have been with my fiancee for 5 ½ years. This past New Year’s Eve, I had my mom, step dad and little brother come out to help celebrate our surprise engagement party. She had no idea. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, knew except her. She said yes and made me the happiest dude on earth. I love her so much and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her. THE END.
So, hopefully I have the energy to keep up the blog. I will add more than just sports. Just tell you how I’m feeling. To the few that will read this, thank you. Until next time. As always, i leave you with this...
Anyhow, like I said before, a lot has changed since the last post. I can’t even tell you who won the World Series. What I can tell you is that the Dodgers fared exactly how we expected them to. We had the NL Cy Young winner. We had the “should-be” MVP in Matt Kemp (will revisit this later). We had the never-ending divorce, and, we had Vin Scully. That’s it. The NBA lockout pushed NBA back to Christmas Day, totally fucking my plans. My Patties made it to the Super Bowl and were beat by Eli and the dumb look on his face. USC played for nothing. Tiger played like nothing. And one would think that I am angry about everything. Not the case.
I should have been surprised about my patriots. People were saying that they wouldn’t win 10 games. They won 13 regular season games. Won the AFC. Blah Blah Blah. We didn’t win the big game and I won’t even get into it since ESPN, NFL network and every other media avenue went through every aspect of the game a million times. I mean, I like to be informed, but breaking down a cover 2 or Tampa 2 to your typical NFL fan only makes them believe that they know the game of football more than everybody else. I had a conversation with a guy who tried to tell me that a Tampa 2 scheme doesn’t work without a fast linebacker. No shit dumbass. The NFL doesn’t work without a fast linebacker. John Maddenisms all over again. “The problem with that throw is the receiver will either catch the ball or drop the ball.” I had a guy tell me that the game would come down to who has the better quarterback and which defense plays better. That’s like saying this hold ‘em hand will come down to who has the better cards in the hole and which community cards benefit which player better. Captain fucking obvious. Though you see the resentment, I am not upset that we lost. I have celebrated three Super Bowl wins since my 21st birthday. So I CELEBRATED quite well. I know that we will contend next year and every year for the foreseeable future. I am not mad. I just hate that the average Joe is informed just enough to think that he is the next NFL genius.
REVISITATION…I won’t get into the stats of Matt Kemp or Ryan Braun. Ryan Braun won the MVP. Fair and square? I’m not sure. However, he is the NL MVP. He gets popped for PEDs. The whole PED thing is asinine to me. Level playing field? It is. They all use something to stay healthy. Bud Selig doesn’t care. He just acts like he does. All he cares about is ratings and money. Anyhow, Braun became the first person to win his appeal of his suspension. He won because a courier didn’t think that FedEx was open on Saturday night. Here’s my issue. Is this courier not sanctioned by MLB to be able to handle this urine sample? He should be. He should be able to be trusted with the sample no matter how long he has it. Even if he got it to FedEx on Saturday, it wasn’t getting delivered to anyone on Sunday. It would sit unrefrigerated until Monday. Where is the chain of custody? Since when does FedEx allow liquids to be sent? Why was he given this sample on a Saturday? I’ll tell you because MLB did not want this appeal to go any other way than it did. Evidence thrown out in appeals court for the win. MLB couldn’t afford for their MVP to be stripped of his award. MLB would have suffered more fan loss because of the known PED usage. It’s a joke. Not quite as funny as the ongoing McDivorceCourts, but still quite laughable.
Which brings me to this. Why don’t we let Mark Cuban buy the fucking team? He will spend money. He will make sure we’re in the news, and he will get players to come. Magic Johnson wants the team, let him have it. Joe Torre wants it. WTF? Anyone will do better than the two idiots we got. I’m all for the city owning it like a publically traded entity. I would buy two shares and print business cards that said “Jason Maikui, Owner, Los Angeles Dodgers” . Kind of has a nice ring to it.
My next rant could be a touchy subject for some of you. If I offend you, I apologize in advance. If my views seem unsympathetic, they are. BULLYING. Since when was this punishable by law. I mean, I can see if bullying became over physical. Then obviously, there should be punishment for breaking the law by physically harming someone. But, cyber bullying? I mean a kid tells a girl she’s a stupid slut on Facebook, then she commits suicide and the bully is facing criminal charges for making fun of her. It’s no secret, I’m fat. Fat as fuck even. I was called fat a million times. It never bothered me because facts are facts. I never once thought of killing myself. All I thought is if this motherfucker calls me fat one more time, I’m gonna smash his face in. Problem solved. I do not condone cyber bullying. However, I don’t think a kid should be punished for leaving a degrading comment on a kid’s Facebook page. If that kid commits suicide because of the comments, it truly is a sad story, but to charge 40 kids with that person’s death is bullshit. KIDS ARE SOFT! It’s ok for kids to cry in high school these days. Kid A gets whooped up by Kid B and makes Kid A cry, no one says anything after a day or so. In my day, if a kid got beat up and cried, you might as well transfer. You would be called crybaby the rest of their lives. Again, kids are soft. It starts when they are 5 and get a trophy when they finish in 37th place. I think that it’s society’s fault for crippling these kids with these assurances that their parents are NOT allowed to spank them. They are NOT allowed to talk down to you. If you follow the rules laid out by society, you know what you get? A kid that wants to end their world because another kid made fun of them. A kid that thinks they don’t have to do what you tell them because all you can do is snatch their iPod away from them. I see too many parents give their rotten ass kids whatever they want just to shut them up. I started a group that never took off like I thought it would. It was called ACT UP, SMACKED UP! Let’s face it adults, kids these days are missing one thing in their life. A good old fashioned ass whooping. That is what’s wrong with these kids. Adults have taken the approach that it’s easier to give the kids what they want then to actually deal with them. Again, I’m sorry for those who have dealt with the issue of kid’s suicide or attempts. It’s not your fault that society has dictated how kids must be dealt with. If I offended you, I truly am sorry. I just think that kids need to toughen up. And it’s our duty as the adults in their situation to do that for them.
Next item on the menu: my engagement. This will be done quickly as I don’t want to reveal too much about it. I have been with my fiancee for 5 ½ years. This past New Year’s Eve, I had my mom, step dad and little brother come out to help celebrate our surprise engagement party. She had no idea. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, knew except her. She said yes and made me the happiest dude on earth. I love her so much and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her. THE END.
So, hopefully I have the energy to keep up the blog. I will add more than just sports. Just tell you how I’m feeling. To the few that will read this, thank you. Until next time. As always, i leave you with this...
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
I'm baaaaaack!
I’m back fuckers! It has been two months and a day since my last rant. A lot has happened in the last two months. Some ups, but more downs. However you look at it, I’m alive. It will take more than a few somber moments to get this old dog to roll over and play dead. I will get you guys up to speed on what’s been going on with me. But first, I want to say that I am thankful for what god has provided me, and I am truly blessed with great friends, a wonderful family and the most amazing girlfriend who I love with every ounce of me. Shit, I weigh about 280, and at 16 ounces a pound, that’s a lot.
Grandma Kui – On June 22nd I got a call from my little brother that the following day would be the day that they were going to remove my grandmother from the breathing machine. I instantly broke down and my little brother asked me if I was sad. I simply replied to him “Fuck yeah I’m sad.” I cried for a little bit. I apologized to Big D that I wasn’t there for him. He told me that he was ok and that he was fine with the decision because he knew Grandma Kui wouldn’t be suffering any more. She was like a mother to Big D and I was so proud of him and the way he handled the situation. I couldn’t get a flight out until Friday the 24th and wouldn’t arrive until midnight. I called my family who told me that though it wasn’t their intention to wait until I got there, the circumstances allowed for me to arrive in time to say good bye. I got there Friday night, went to sleep and the next morning we went to the hospital. I will keep this next part simple, as it was a rough day for me. I walked in, told her I loved her, said goodbye, and waited. A few hours later, she left us and as a family, we were satisfied. We hurt, but we knew that she didn’t. That was good enough for us. For those that know me on a personal level, things haven’t been the same for our family, but it’s not my first rodeo. I’ve seen dissention amongst family members caused by death multiple times. We’ll get through it. To Grandma Kui, I love you and I appreciate all you did for our family. You will never be forgotten and will forever be missed.
Bells Palsy – What is that you ask? Hell if I know. But I got it. How? No one knows. How does it go away? You wait. So, July 16th rolls around. Me and my girl go out for lunch and I notice that the chips taste funny. Then I notice that everything taste off. I just chalk it up as another Jacksonville failed attempt at Mexican food. I get home and I decide to chill out before I go to a friend’s birthday dinner. I’m jazzed up. We’re going to Crabcake Factory where the food is AMAZING! We celebrated my girl’s birthday there and we were 100% satisfied with our meal. Anyhow, I’m laying on the couch watching something and I start to tear up uncontrollably. Not crying, just my right eye dropping liquid. I’m confused because Forrest Gump isn’t on. I then realize that I can’t blink my eye. I figure my eye is swollen and go take a look in the mirror. I confirm that it is swollen, and I go to crack a smile because I thought it was so stupid I could laugh about it. Then I realize I have half a smile. Then it dawns on me that I lost control over the right side of my face. That’s when the panic begins to set in. I fucking thought I was having a stroke. I worried the shit out of my girl and jumped in the car to head to the ER. On the way to Mayo, I realize that my co-pay is $300 for emergencies and $500 for non-emergencies. I quickly went to my Droid and Googled “Stroke Symptoms” and “Stroke Tests”. I diagnosed myself with one of two things. I either had a swollen salivary gland or Bells Palsy. I was right. Bells Palsy is a condition where your facial nerve becomes inflamed and you lose control of the muscles on that side of your face. I couldn’t smoke properly. I couldn’t eat anything without biting my lips. I could drink out of a can or bottle. So in other words, life sucked. The worst part of it all was that there is no time table to when you get better or if you get better at all. However, within a couple weeks, I have about 90% control of my face. The other 10% is pending. Thanks to all who offered words of encouragement and really helped me through a tough time. It was a lot harder on everyone else than it was me, but we made it through, God willing.
Crossfit Games – Ok, where to start with this. A couple of months ago I get a call at home from my boss. He asks me if I was willing to be loaned out to another department for the summer. I really didn’t want to, but he promised a 9-530 schedule and I thought it would be nice. So I accepted. I found out later that day I would be helping with Crossfit. A few days later I was told I would be going to the Crossfit Games…IN LOS ANGELES. So, naturally, I was excited. I get a free trip home. Fast forward a couple months and I arrive in L.A., with Bells Palsy, but excited to see my family again. The event starts, and boy was it hard work. A ton of walking. I walked so much the first day that I developed these big ass blisters on the bottom of my feet. Tuesday was 12 hours of pain and suffering. Tuesday night I had to take a razor blade to the bottom of my feet. I could barely walk. Wednesday morning came and I was in some serious pain. Two hours into work I had to make a decision. I was close to telling my PM that he had to send me home and have someone else come out. Luckily, a friend of mine showed me to the trainer’s room for the Chivas USA football team. I talked to one of the trainers who agreed to look at my feet. He gave me the superstar treatment. He drew out the remaining fluid, shot up my feet with Hydrocortisone, and padded my feet so well, I was able to work that day. The next day came and I could run and jump like nothing had happened. This man saved my life. I will forever be in debt to him. Fast forward a couple days and 9 trillion setbacks later and the games started. I was amazed and inspired by not only the athletes, but the entire Crossfit community. I have never been to an event with a more beautiful crowd, nor have I seen such an uplifting crowd. Everyone cheered for everyone, and the athletes were so “fi” that I felt like I needed to go to the gym immediately. The event and venue were beautiful, the weather impeccable and the attendees were absolutely amazing. If you have a chance, look up Crossfit on Youtube, and see just how challenging it really is. I met some good people and look forward to remaining friends with some of them. I can’t wait to see how much better the event is next year.
Anyhow, that was the last couple months of my life. I will include some pictures below to briefly show you what went on. As for baseball, I came to grips that I will always bleed Dodger Blue, but I still can’t wait for that jackass to get the fuck outta Dodge. So, for the time being, I will still cheer for another team. Remember, I am part of the solution, not the problem. As sad as it is, I just cannot support this guy and his soon to be ex-wife. And no matter what you do, supporting the team means lining his pockets. I apologize to the team as I would love nothing more than to offer support, but until he goes, I stay away.
Here are some pics from my "Goodbye to Grandma Kui" trip - FOOD!
Lee's Sandwiches - Vietnamese sandwiches. I met a cool dude and we talked gamblin'. So the wait was quick.
Grandma Kui – On June 22nd I got a call from my little brother that the following day would be the day that they were going to remove my grandmother from the breathing machine. I instantly broke down and my little brother asked me if I was sad. I simply replied to him “Fuck yeah I’m sad.” I cried for a little bit. I apologized to Big D that I wasn’t there for him. He told me that he was ok and that he was fine with the decision because he knew Grandma Kui wouldn’t be suffering any more. She was like a mother to Big D and I was so proud of him and the way he handled the situation. I couldn’t get a flight out until Friday the 24th and wouldn’t arrive until midnight. I called my family who told me that though it wasn’t their intention to wait until I got there, the circumstances allowed for me to arrive in time to say good bye. I got there Friday night, went to sleep and the next morning we went to the hospital. I will keep this next part simple, as it was a rough day for me. I walked in, told her I loved her, said goodbye, and waited. A few hours later, she left us and as a family, we were satisfied. We hurt, but we knew that she didn’t. That was good enough for us. For those that know me on a personal level, things haven’t been the same for our family, but it’s not my first rodeo. I’ve seen dissention amongst family members caused by death multiple times. We’ll get through it. To Grandma Kui, I love you and I appreciate all you did for our family. You will never be forgotten and will forever be missed.
Bells Palsy – What is that you ask? Hell if I know. But I got it. How? No one knows. How does it go away? You wait. So, July 16th rolls around. Me and my girl go out for lunch and I notice that the chips taste funny. Then I notice that everything taste off. I just chalk it up as another Jacksonville failed attempt at Mexican food. I get home and I decide to chill out before I go to a friend’s birthday dinner. I’m jazzed up. We’re going to Crabcake Factory where the food is AMAZING! We celebrated my girl’s birthday there and we were 100% satisfied with our meal. Anyhow, I’m laying on the couch watching something and I start to tear up uncontrollably. Not crying, just my right eye dropping liquid. I’m confused because Forrest Gump isn’t on. I then realize that I can’t blink my eye. I figure my eye is swollen and go take a look in the mirror. I confirm that it is swollen, and I go to crack a smile because I thought it was so stupid I could laugh about it. Then I realize I have half a smile. Then it dawns on me that I lost control over the right side of my face. That’s when the panic begins to set in. I fucking thought I was having a stroke. I worried the shit out of my girl and jumped in the car to head to the ER. On the way to Mayo, I realize that my co-pay is $300 for emergencies and $500 for non-emergencies. I quickly went to my Droid and Googled “Stroke Symptoms” and “Stroke Tests”. I diagnosed myself with one of two things. I either had a swollen salivary gland or Bells Palsy. I was right. Bells Palsy is a condition where your facial nerve becomes inflamed and you lose control of the muscles on that side of your face. I couldn’t smoke properly. I couldn’t eat anything without biting my lips. I could drink out of a can or bottle. So in other words, life sucked. The worst part of it all was that there is no time table to when you get better or if you get better at all. However, within a couple weeks, I have about 90% control of my face. The other 10% is pending. Thanks to all who offered words of encouragement and really helped me through a tough time. It was a lot harder on everyone else than it was me, but we made it through, God willing.
Crossfit Games – Ok, where to start with this. A couple of months ago I get a call at home from my boss. He asks me if I was willing to be loaned out to another department for the summer. I really didn’t want to, but he promised a 9-530 schedule and I thought it would be nice. So I accepted. I found out later that day I would be helping with Crossfit. A few days later I was told I would be going to the Crossfit Games…IN LOS ANGELES. So, naturally, I was excited. I get a free trip home. Fast forward a couple months and I arrive in L.A., with Bells Palsy, but excited to see my family again. The event starts, and boy was it hard work. A ton of walking. I walked so much the first day that I developed these big ass blisters on the bottom of my feet. Tuesday was 12 hours of pain and suffering. Tuesday night I had to take a razor blade to the bottom of my feet. I could barely walk. Wednesday morning came and I was in some serious pain. Two hours into work I had to make a decision. I was close to telling my PM that he had to send me home and have someone else come out. Luckily, a friend of mine showed me to the trainer’s room for the Chivas USA football team. I talked to one of the trainers who agreed to look at my feet. He gave me the superstar treatment. He drew out the remaining fluid, shot up my feet with Hydrocortisone, and padded my feet so well, I was able to work that day. The next day came and I could run and jump like nothing had happened. This man saved my life. I will forever be in debt to him. Fast forward a couple days and 9 trillion setbacks later and the games started. I was amazed and inspired by not only the athletes, but the entire Crossfit community. I have never been to an event with a more beautiful crowd, nor have I seen such an uplifting crowd. Everyone cheered for everyone, and the athletes were so “fi” that I felt like I needed to go to the gym immediately. The event and venue were beautiful, the weather impeccable and the attendees were absolutely amazing. If you have a chance, look up Crossfit on Youtube, and see just how challenging it really is. I met some good people and look forward to remaining friends with some of them. I can’t wait to see how much better the event is next year.
Anyhow, that was the last couple months of my life. I will include some pictures below to briefly show you what went on. As for baseball, I came to grips that I will always bleed Dodger Blue, but I still can’t wait for that jackass to get the fuck outta Dodge. So, for the time being, I will still cheer for another team. Remember, I am part of the solution, not the problem. As sad as it is, I just cannot support this guy and his soon to be ex-wife. And no matter what you do, supporting the team means lining his pockets. I apologize to the team as I would love nothing more than to offer support, but until he goes, I stay away.
Here are some pics from my "Goodbye to Grandma Kui" trip - FOOD!
Lee's Sandwiches - Vietnamese sandwiches. I met a cool dude and we talked gamblin'. So the wait was quick.
Gardena Bowl - Hawaiian food in a bowling alley. It doesn't get better than that. Lau Lau, mac salad, lomi salmon...
Lucilles's - NY Steak
Road to Seoul - Korean BBQ. Shout outs to Pinky for showing me the way...
Bulgogi
Beef Tongue and Pork Belly
Squid and more Beef Tongue
In-n-Out...but of course. Excuse the bite taken out. I couldn't wait the 2 seconds for the camera app to load.
Louis Burgers - Chili Fries with Pastrami
Taco Truck - Need I say more...
and as ALWAYS!!! DIANA'S...#30, de verde, solamente frijoles con mas queso...
CROSSFIT TRIP - L.A. Trip #2...
Diana's - First time I ever had #30 with Red Chile. It was pretty fuckin' good.
Goldilock's Bakery - Deep Fried Siopao
On to the Games. I can't express enough how exciting these games really were. The reason being: the crowd was ELECTRIC! It was a lot of fun and an honor being a part of the games. Shot out to Rob Jantzen, volunteer of the year.
Rob and Enwei - my two volunteers. Two of the nicest people I've met.
This girl pushin' 275 pounds after killing herself...awesome!
Team Event - I think she did this 50 times...
Women's Final - Annie Sakamoto and Camille Leblanc-Bazinet doing box jumps.
Women's Final - Camille Leblanc-Bazinet...
Women's champ - Annie Thorisdottir
Men's Winner - Rich Froning, Jr.
Rich Froning - Posing!
All in all, it was a wonderful trip. Family, work, made some money at an amazing event. Life is good.
Now on to baseball. I decided that I will cheer for another team this week. I'm not sure if I will blog about it, but I will definitely keep you updated. I decided to roll with the Phillies. The reason why, I want to eat a cheese steak ASAP. So, I decided that if I ate a cheese steak I was half way there to being a Phillies fan. Plus, they play the Dodgers and since I'm anti Dodgers right now, what better way than to cheer for the Phillies. Halladay had another strong outing and the Dodgers had another weak one. It was a nice bounce back win and we've now won 9 out of our last 10. Cliff Lee takes the mound tonight against Ted Lilly. Ted was on the Cubs for a while, and I think he was on the team the last time they won a World Series. You might want to check on that, but if he wasn't, then they added him a season or two afterwards. Anyhoot, I look for Cliff to give up one or two runs max. I hope Kemp hits a homer as he is on my fantasy team, but other than that, I look for the dodgers to lose again tonight. Sidenote: I need a Tastykakes fruit pie. I leave you with this. Philly's finest...
And the reminder - Bitch, I'm Back!!!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Day 68 - Yankees Day #2
June 7th – Today marks the first day of my true Yankee fan-ship. But, first and foremost, today is my girlfriend’s birthday. She will be, well, she will be. She may be reading this later and so I won’t get into detail about how old she is. She is truly me best friend. However, she is more than just that. Simply put, she is my everything. The words of a card or poem or song can never really do her justice. I mean, it would take a Hallmark card the length of a novel to put to words how I feel. She’s my soul mate and I love her dearly! Happy Birthday Elbie…
Los Jankees - I’m not sure if I’m excited or not. It’s kind of like the first day at a new school. It’s not like a 10 year old showing up to the first day of school ready to rule the 5th grade. I’m not going to be able to see all of the same friends and just walk around the playground with a chip on my shoulder. No, this is different. It’s like the first day of a new school, in a new city, with no friends. Well, I have a couple of friends that are darkside dwellers, and they could probably ease me in. I won’t feel like Danny LaRusso did, but I will still be a little nervous. I mean, I have no idea what to expect. Is it true that I can walk up to someone, anyone, ANYWHERE, with a Red sox hat on and basically shit on him? I don’t have to be at a game, or a bar watching the game? As a pending Dodger fan, I’ve taken part in getting in a Giants’ or Padres’ fan’s face. I’ve yelled at toddlers while atop their daddy’s shoulders for rocking the Angels garb(age) at our beloved stadium. But, I’ve been told that I could be in confession at church, spot a guy through the dark curtains with a Boston hat on and just verbally assault him. Sounds like I’m already warming up to the fact that the Bronx Bombers are it this week…
Today, we open a three game set against, well, the Dead Sox. Boston pansies with no class and a “once in every 100 years” world champ percentage. Big Sloppy, Kevin BOO-kalis and the rest of the boys come into town to start 10 games in 10 days at Yankee Stadium. Luckily for the Dead Sox fans, I only have 6 more days to go. So, you’ll only have to tuck those caps for a few more days losers. But, best believe, if I see a “B” on someone’s hat, they’re going to hear it. I don’t care if it’s for the Dead Sox, the Bruins (either), Baylor or Bolles HS. If it’s a “B”, you’re catching a tongue lashing.
Sidenotes/rants: Last night, I watched the most ridiculous thing to ever hit television. No, not when the dude blew his brain out on top of the 105 overpass. That was more entertaining. I remember when we used to go get 29 cent hamburgers on Wednesday from McDonalds (twenty of them which we would pay for in change) and go to Amelia and watch that shit over and over again. NO! It was not seeing some car crash or tornado or footage of some natural disaster. It wasn’t another police brutality video or a story about parents killing their babies. It was worse. I know you must be thinking what could be worse than some of those things I listed. Well, this is. I ranked this #1 on my craziest shit I’ve seen on TV. Beating out these two…
#3 – Mark Hominick’s head/face after his bout with Jose Aldo…
What can you say but “COT DAMN!”
#2 – Marisol’s mom on Real Housewives of Miami
This hag looks like a Monster. It’s like she has a permanent condition that eats her alive daily called “Botched-alism”. She’s a walking money back guarantee. (please don’t try and click to zoom)
#1…DRUMROLL…I’m talking “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”. These people are ridiculous. Not only are they living in trailers or “caravans” which they are about to lose (is it foreclosure or repossession), but they go out and have these over the top weddings that include 200 pound dresses with lights and electronic moving butterflies on them. You have to watch it to understand how ridiculous this really is. Some of the dresses look like they came straight out of Drai’s in Las Vegas on Halloween weekend.
Watch the show, you will feel better about yourself after. Similar to how you feel after watching “The Wonderful Whites of West Virginia”
I leave you on this note:
It’s one of those days…
Los Jankees - I’m not sure if I’m excited or not. It’s kind of like the first day at a new school. It’s not like a 10 year old showing up to the first day of school ready to rule the 5th grade. I’m not going to be able to see all of the same friends and just walk around the playground with a chip on my shoulder. No, this is different. It’s like the first day of a new school, in a new city, with no friends. Well, I have a couple of friends that are darkside dwellers, and they could probably ease me in. I won’t feel like Danny LaRusso did, but I will still be a little nervous. I mean, I have no idea what to expect. Is it true that I can walk up to someone, anyone, ANYWHERE, with a Red sox hat on and basically shit on him? I don’t have to be at a game, or a bar watching the game? As a pending Dodger fan, I’ve taken part in getting in a Giants’ or Padres’ fan’s face. I’ve yelled at toddlers while atop their daddy’s shoulders for rocking the Angels garb(age) at our beloved stadium. But, I’ve been told that I could be in confession at church, spot a guy through the dark curtains with a Boston hat on and just verbally assault him. Sounds like I’m already warming up to the fact that the Bronx Bombers are it this week…
Today, we open a three game set against, well, the Dead Sox. Boston pansies with no class and a “once in every 100 years” world champ percentage. Big Sloppy, Kevin BOO-kalis and the rest of the boys come into town to start 10 games in 10 days at Yankee Stadium. Luckily for the Dead Sox fans, I only have 6 more days to go. So, you’ll only have to tuck those caps for a few more days losers. But, best believe, if I see a “B” on someone’s hat, they’re going to hear it. I don’t care if it’s for the Dead Sox, the Bruins (either), Baylor or Bolles HS. If it’s a “B”, you’re catching a tongue lashing.
Sidenotes/rants: Last night, I watched the most ridiculous thing to ever hit television. No, not when the dude blew his brain out on top of the 105 overpass. That was more entertaining. I remember when we used to go get 29 cent hamburgers on Wednesday from McDonalds (twenty of them which we would pay for in change) and go to Amelia and watch that shit over and over again. NO! It was not seeing some car crash or tornado or footage of some natural disaster. It wasn’t another police brutality video or a story about parents killing their babies. It was worse. I know you must be thinking what could be worse than some of those things I listed. Well, this is. I ranked this #1 on my craziest shit I’ve seen on TV. Beating out these two…
#3 – Mark Hominick’s head/face after his bout with Jose Aldo…
What can you say but “COT DAMN!”
#2 – Marisol’s mom on Real Housewives of Miami
This hag looks like a Monster. It’s like she has a permanent condition that eats her alive daily called “Botched-alism”. She’s a walking money back guarantee. (please don’t try and click to zoom)
#1…DRUMROLL…I’m talking “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”. These people are ridiculous. Not only are they living in trailers or “caravans” which they are about to lose (is it foreclosure or repossession), but they go out and have these over the top weddings that include 200 pound dresses with lights and electronic moving butterflies on them. You have to watch it to understand how ridiculous this really is. Some of the dresses look like they came straight out of Drai’s in Las Vegas on Halloween weekend.
Watch the show, you will feel better about yourself after. Similar to how you feel after watching “The Wonderful Whites of West Virginia”
I leave you on this note:
It’s one of those days…
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Day 989834
So, I know it’s been a while, and for good reason. I mean, quite simply put, I have been bored with baseball. Plus, the sheer fact of cheering for the darkside was reason enough to find other things to do with my time. There was TPC in early May. Anyone could tell you that I absolutely love that course and love that tournament. There were a bunch of movies releasing that me and my girl saw (four in may alone). All in all, I just found other things to do than write this blog. But, I figured it was time to write again. I was inspired by my friend’s wife. She posted her blog update to Facebook about her SuperMom self. After reading it, I felt like I should write something today. So, here I am.
The “Mom”trepeneur - First of all, let me give praise to my friend’s wife. My friend “L” is “almost common law” married to “SM” (super mom). They have two kids. Two adorable kids at that. Anyhow, she often gives us updates about what she is working on for parties and activities. See, she makes custom piñatas for kids parties and they are the dopest piñatas I’ve ever seen (as far as kid’s piñatas go. I’ve seen some adult themed ones that were pretty effin fresh). Anyhow, this girl gets down. It seems like every day has an update about what she is doing for these kids and I admire her for that. I even read her blog about being a super mom. I have no kids, yet. But, I still find her blog to be informative and entertaining. If you get a chance, check out her page HERE. Pretty sweet piñatas.
TPC - In true Jacksonville fashion, the weather the week before the tournament was amazing. 70’s during the day and low 60’s at night with a cool breeze. Then, right before the tournament, it got hot as fuck. I mean, really hot. Last year I made it to all the practice days, which is the highlight of the tournament to me. Pictures and autographs all day long. This year was no different. I made it to all the practice days. I got a few highlight pieces signed. My 2011 Masters flag signed by winner Charl Schwartzel. I got my 2010 US open Pebble Beach flag signed by winner Graeme McDowell. I also got my 2010 PGA Championship flag signed by winner Martin Kaymer. Before he signed that, he signed a ball that he was using and handed it to me. So, for me, complete success. The only thing I didn’t get signed was my 2010 Masters flag. Oh Phil, how I hate you so… anyhow, I even got a tourney day in as I went to see Tiger play the 9th, and then he was done. He’s starting to act like a little spoiled child. Face it dude, you just ain’t as good as you were a few years ago. Maybe you are that good, but everyone is better now. I don’t know, but what I do know is you need to get your shit together and start playing golf and having fun. Sorry for the rant, but I had enough. I shifted my golf fan-ship to Kaymer for the fact that he gave me a ball. A simple gesture and all of a sudden he had the dude at the tournament with the best kicks on, and most gangsta attitude, in his corner.
Movies – I joined this movie pool and quickly became this year’s bonehead picking Priest to finish in the Top 10. It had so much going for it. Maggie Q and her recent mainstream success (Nikita). 3D film about vampires that was rated PG-13. They marketed that movie since Jackass #d (when I first saw the trailer). I thought it was a lock. Instead, it got beat out by Bridesmaids. Hell, I didn’t even go see it after the opening weekend reviews. But, I did manage to see four flicks. Fast 5 was surprisingly pretty darn good. A lot of action and a really good plot. I would recommend that movie to anyone really. Thor was good as well. It was better than I thought it would be. It kept me entertained and I would download it (for free) when the BluRay rip hit newsgroups. Hangover 2 was a fuckin blast. I am planning on seeing it again in theatres. I was rolling for two hours straight. Pirates 4 was the least favorite of these 4. Just another Pirates movie with cool costumes and scenery. I’m not a Penelope Cruz fan so her voice got annoying really quick. There are a few more movies I want to see this summer and will update you with how I think they are.
Anyway, as you can see I just delayed the blog again. I totally got sidetracked. However, this week, starting tomorrow, I will be a full-fledged Yankee fan. I’m not sure if they want me or not, but I don’t care what they want. Let me work on being a rude New Yawker. This ought to be interesting. Hopefully, I have readers left. I know I was up to about 6 people following the blog but kind of let em all hanging. Stay tuned folks. There is much more profanity to come.
EDIT: I forgot to tell you about my trip to the Farmer’s Market. It wasn’t like the ones in L.A. Those tend to focus more on the entertainment and prepared foods than it does the local produce, but this one here was different. It was all about local ingredients and it was for sure that peaches were in season. You could smell the fresh peaches throughout the whole market. I picked up chiles and peppers to make chili verde and boy it came out great. Tomatillos and green chiles highlighted my buy. My girl picked up some sweet mangoes and I had one for the first time and it was AMAZING. I want to try and go once a week to pick up fresh ingredients to make something on Sunday nights. Anyhow, this is what I created, at midnight…
I leave you on this note as I pay homage to Sunday nights with Huggy Boy…
“This is dedicated to my man Flaco. I can’t wait to see you when you get home (from jail). I miss you baby and can’t wait to have your baby (even though I’m 15 and you’re 30).” At least that’s how I heard the dedications…
The “Mom”trepeneur - First of all, let me give praise to my friend’s wife. My friend “L” is “almost common law” married to “SM” (super mom). They have two kids. Two adorable kids at that. Anyhow, she often gives us updates about what she is working on for parties and activities. See, she makes custom piñatas for kids parties and they are the dopest piñatas I’ve ever seen (as far as kid’s piñatas go. I’ve seen some adult themed ones that were pretty effin fresh). Anyhow, this girl gets down. It seems like every day has an update about what she is doing for these kids and I admire her for that. I even read her blog about being a super mom. I have no kids, yet. But, I still find her blog to be informative and entertaining. If you get a chance, check out her page HERE. Pretty sweet piñatas.
TPC - In true Jacksonville fashion, the weather the week before the tournament was amazing. 70’s during the day and low 60’s at night with a cool breeze. Then, right before the tournament, it got hot as fuck. I mean, really hot. Last year I made it to all the practice days, which is the highlight of the tournament to me. Pictures and autographs all day long. This year was no different. I made it to all the practice days. I got a few highlight pieces signed. My 2011 Masters flag signed by winner Charl Schwartzel. I got my 2010 US open Pebble Beach flag signed by winner Graeme McDowell. I also got my 2010 PGA Championship flag signed by winner Martin Kaymer. Before he signed that, he signed a ball that he was using and handed it to me. So, for me, complete success. The only thing I didn’t get signed was my 2010 Masters flag. Oh Phil, how I hate you so… anyhow, I even got a tourney day in as I went to see Tiger play the 9th, and then he was done. He’s starting to act like a little spoiled child. Face it dude, you just ain’t as good as you were a few years ago. Maybe you are that good, but everyone is better now. I don’t know, but what I do know is you need to get your shit together and start playing golf and having fun. Sorry for the rant, but I had enough. I shifted my golf fan-ship to Kaymer for the fact that he gave me a ball. A simple gesture and all of a sudden he had the dude at the tournament with the best kicks on, and most gangsta attitude, in his corner.
Movies – I joined this movie pool and quickly became this year’s bonehead picking Priest to finish in the Top 10. It had so much going for it. Maggie Q and her recent mainstream success (Nikita). 3D film about vampires that was rated PG-13. They marketed that movie since Jackass #d (when I first saw the trailer). I thought it was a lock. Instead, it got beat out by Bridesmaids. Hell, I didn’t even go see it after the opening weekend reviews. But, I did manage to see four flicks. Fast 5 was surprisingly pretty darn good. A lot of action and a really good plot. I would recommend that movie to anyone really. Thor was good as well. It was better than I thought it would be. It kept me entertained and I would download it (for free) when the BluRay rip hit newsgroups. Hangover 2 was a fuckin blast. I am planning on seeing it again in theatres. I was rolling for two hours straight. Pirates 4 was the least favorite of these 4. Just another Pirates movie with cool costumes and scenery. I’m not a Penelope Cruz fan so her voice got annoying really quick. There are a few more movies I want to see this summer and will update you with how I think they are.
Anyway, as you can see I just delayed the blog again. I totally got sidetracked. However, this week, starting tomorrow, I will be a full-fledged Yankee fan. I’m not sure if they want me or not, but I don’t care what they want. Let me work on being a rude New Yawker. This ought to be interesting. Hopefully, I have readers left. I know I was up to about 6 people following the blog but kind of let em all hanging. Stay tuned folks. There is much more profanity to come.
EDIT: I forgot to tell you about my trip to the Farmer’s Market. It wasn’t like the ones in L.A. Those tend to focus more on the entertainment and prepared foods than it does the local produce, but this one here was different. It was all about local ingredients and it was for sure that peaches were in season. You could smell the fresh peaches throughout the whole market. I picked up chiles and peppers to make chili verde and boy it came out great. Tomatillos and green chiles highlighted my buy. My girl picked up some sweet mangoes and I had one for the first time and it was AMAZING. I want to try and go once a week to pick up fresh ingredients to make something on Sunday nights. Anyhow, this is what I created, at midnight…
I leave you on this note as I pay homage to Sunday nights with Huggy Boy…
“This is dedicated to my man Flaco. I can’t wait to see you when you get home (from jail). I miss you baby and can’t wait to have your baby (even though I’m 15 and you’re 30).” At least that’s how I heard the dedications…
Monday, May 9, 2011
Day 39...Untitled...
Unmotivated. That's the story today kids. BOS finished up the weekend 2-1 and 4-3 for the week. I thought I would be more jazzed up about it...Truth is, I'm almost over baseball until August. Like every year, baseball is exciting at first, then the NBA playoffs just take over your television whether you like it or not. My boys got swept by the Dallas Mavericks and you know what, I can't and won't say shit about it. They flat out played better ball than we did. Better shooting, better bench and Phil got out coached by Carlisle. HOLD UP A MINUTE. I'm going to go live and let you know how I really feel, right this very moment. About 30 seconds ago I received a fantasy baseball trade request. It is for my only rotisserie format league. It was also an auction league. I get a trade offer from this guy that ripped me for paying $10 for Jaime Garcia who he claims is a $2 pitcher. Of course, this fucker wants none other than Jaime Garcia along with Kyle Lohse. Both guys are pitching out of their minds right now and probably won't be able to keep up all year long. however, I think that St. Louis will win close to 100 games. So, after he asks why I rejected his offer I tell this guy that 1) I can't trade two of my starters, both from St. Louis for two OF (Jason Heyward and Jeff Francoeur) because I would have to pick up two SP on the waiver line and those run thin in a 12 team league and 2) FUCK YOU because you tried to talk shit about me paying $10 for Jaime Garcia. He replies that I don't know anything about baseball. He then adds that he has been watching baseball since "the day he was born" and could run off every stat known to man about any player since he was born in 1993. I obviously laughed and told him to go fuck himself. He replies "Give me a year and a player and I will give you their stats for the year." so, after I ROFLMAO I responded back and let him know of this invention that made him reading my insults possible called "the internet" and told him I could one up him and come up with anyones stats EVER for ANY year. But I gave him just one number. #616. I told him to look up that along with 1989 fleer and to read the end of the bat. After that, apply what the bat says to the end of my comments. I'm waiting for him to ask me why I'm asking him to add a "black box" to the end of every comment. for those of you that don't know, 1989 Fleer #616 is Billy Ripken. On the end of his bat, on the knob,it says "Fuck Face". Anyhow, guys like that get on my nerves. They make fantasy such a drag. You know, I don't like your trade. I don't want to accept it. Deal with it. Don't let me know that you know more about baseball than I do when you don't know what I know. Kids these days.
Anyway, since we're talking about baseball and since we're talking numbers. I figured I'd dip into the number of championships teams have won. An no one has won more than the Darkside. The Bronx Bombers, the Evil Empire...The motherfuckin Yankees are my team this week. I figured I would go Red Sox, Yankees then Mets...I hope I can keep up with the Yanks. I had pizza already so I'm already 1 for 1 with the food. Food possibilities are endless. I can be rude all week, drive like shit and complain about everything. New Yorkers are so negative. Even if you're not from there but move there. you become this black hole of complaints sucking the life out of those that pretend to listen to you. I can't wait to be that instead of being forced to listen to it. Yankees fan #1 does not fall under the stereotypes that I have pointed out above. all of these stereotypes are just my opinion, and though have been depicted in film for years and scientifically proven, do not fall under the category as fact.
I leave you on this note...Westcoast baby!
Anyway, since we're talking about baseball and since we're talking numbers. I figured I'd dip into the number of championships teams have won. An no one has won more than the Darkside. The Bronx Bombers, the Evil Empire...The motherfuckin Yankees are my team this week. I figured I would go Red Sox, Yankees then Mets...I hope I can keep up with the Yanks. I had pizza already so I'm already 1 for 1 with the food. Food possibilities are endless. I can be rude all week, drive like shit and complain about everything. New Yorkers are so negative. Even if you're not from there but move there. you become this black hole of complaints sucking the life out of those that pretend to listen to you. I can't wait to be that instead of being forced to listen to it. Yankees fan #1 does not fall under the stereotypes that I have pointed out above. all of these stereotypes are just my opinion, and though have been depicted in film for years and scientifically proven, do not fall under the category as fact.
I leave you on this note...Westcoast baby!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Day 35...Jinx
I'm starting to believe my jinx theory. See, every time I start to write about a team, things start to go as planned. Then, as soon as I get too confident, and start writing about the ass whoopings we will be dealing out, the tables turn. I should just keep my mouth shut, but truth is, I like to talk shit. If you know me at all, you know I will take every opportunity I can to talk shit. I don't care what the occasion is, I will say something if the situation allows. Sometimes, I take the NSFNG at work and nothing to say to him at all. So, I simply tell him to shut the fuck up. everyone laughs and we move on. Thus, if we're winning or beating you down, I will take the opp to tell you how bad it's gonna be and how much you suck ass. I won't be such an asshole to kick you when you're down (most of the time), but i will be right there to point and laugh when you fall, assuming you're ok.
So, that being said, even though we lost last night after a long rain delay. I am here to talk shit. The score is currently 11-0 and we're facing a two game skid. But, I'm going to talk shit. Now, I can accept defeat, and I will admit when we got our asses handed to us. Today is one of those days. So, I have to talk shit about something. Today, I choose to talk shit about two of the biggest assholes I have ever seen. And no, I am not talking about the McCourts. I am talking about Phil Mickelson and Ron Artest. These guys have nothing to do with the Red Sox, but they are on my list of current assholes who must win my respect.
We'll start with Lefty. I have never been a fan of Phil. I usually am a sucker for left handed golfers. They never had it easy. Golf courses just weren't designed for lefties at all. Then, technology took over and for a while there golf courses weren't designed for pros. now, they make the necessary changes so that length isn't everything. Anyhow, Phil, the lefty has never had it easy. what he does have is the looks, the game and the bag of tricks that is second to no other golfer. I'm not sure why I started hating Phil, or when I began to despise the guy. I just knew I did. then when Tiger's dominance started to take place it became a simple rivalry. USC-UCLA. Dodgers-Angels. Chevy-Ford. There was Tiger-Phil. My father said we were Tiger people. the line was drawn there. Then I had my brother who is the biggest Phil dick rider ever. i had to hear about how he was better than tiger, though another thing Phil never possessed was the World #1 ranking. A ranking Tiger held 623 weeks of his life. I will say this though. Phil could one day hold that ranking. I do not believe Tiger will ever hold that ranking again. Anyway, constantly hearing about him made things worse. Then there was the whole 2009 Players. I had recently acquired a 2007 Masters flag, a year in which Lefty won. It was for my brother and I was going home a few weeks later. So, I decided to sit out and wait for Phil to sign my flag. i didn't think it would be a big deal. He was a golfer. He wasn't "Tiger Woods" great, but a great golfer indeed. Boy, there was a huge amount of people waiting and I was in front. Me, Phillies fan #1 and Terp fan/player #1 were right there. Here he came. Sharpie in hand. He looks at the crowd and says i don't sign balls. Great, I had a flag, a Masters flag for a year he won. i was in. So, he starts to get closer and I genuinely get excited. I'm excited that my brother, Bud Light fan #1, was going to get a 2007 masters flag with Phil's ink on it. I was goin' apeshit. Here he comes. Two people away from me. Right next to me, on my left. Then without hesitation, he looks me in the eye, shoots me a quick half smile, reaches for the hat behind me and signs it. It was Terp fan/player #1's hat. I go to hand him my flag as it was now my turn and before I could even ask him, he is right next to me, except to my right side. Within 60 seconds, he is ten people away and fading. I can't even hear him joke with the crowd. But, he makes his way back towards us. He's here and I just know he forgot about my flag and was making his way back. He gets right in front of me. His DNA being breathed onto my flag, and he walks by me again. I look at Phillies fan #1 and he too got snubbed. Phil looks right at us and says "That's it everyone. I'm done." I had to hold back. I was pretty close to jumping the gate and shanking his ass with his fuckin' Sharpie. I couldn't fuckin' believe it. This guy that he was better than me. this left handed golfer thought he could diss me like that. I walked away and had some rough things to say about him. Fast forward 350 days. TPC 2010 was coming up and I had a game plan. I was going to order the same hat he wears with the pink ribbon on the side. I was going to ask him to sign it. I figured he would have to sign it. Maybe he thought we would just sell the Masters flags and passed on us. So, the hat was my plan B. I go to order the hat and get to the checkout window and fins that you have to be a fuckin' KPMG employee to order it. I immediately hate HIM again. So, we get to the tourney and we see him and he won't sign anyone that wasn't a hot chick or under the age of 12. This guy is larger than life on the tour. I'll admit I asked Stevie for an autograph, not even Tiger, and he declined as well. anyhow, this is the last year I will attempt to get a Phil autograph. I will go through many great lengths to get it this yr. I have plans C-Z this year. If I end up without a Phil auto, i will forever despise this motherfucker!
Ron Ron. Where do I start with this guy? I didn't hate him when he attacked the fan in Detroit. I didn't even dislike him when he was in HOU and gave us a run for our money. In fact, i couldn't wait to try and land him on the team. Then we get him last year and he has this great Twitter story about him finding a family in L.A. that he could hang out with. He saves us in OKC on Kobe's airball. He even drains some 3's to clinch the ring for us. then I hear the first thing I hated. He sold his championship ring. now, it was for a good cause, but c'mon man. Your championship ring. to me, that was a slap in the face of the Lakers' organization. Then the 2010-11 season happened. this guy just flat our drove me insane. He has that 'lame kid" syndrome that just gets it in his head that as soon as he gets the touch, he's puttin' it up. Alan Kordich syndrome. The only thing missing is his dad yelling "Pass it to Ron!" Anyhow, I think he cost us Game 1 against DAL. We're up 16 and he feels the need to start jackin' up shots from all over the court. That 16 point lead dwindled away as every miss turned into a basket for DAL and Dirk-a-Dirk. His stupid decisions are just becoming a bit much. His pimp slap of JJ Barea, landing him a 1 Game 3 suspension, was the last straw. Who knows, maybe we needed the spark. But, if things turn out the way I think they will. I will forever enshrine him as another asshole that must go.
Anyhow, I ranted and got the shit of my chest...I leave you with this. I found this song on World Star. It doesn't fit into what I wrote but this track is just fire to me...
So, that being said, even though we lost last night after a long rain delay. I am here to talk shit. The score is currently 11-0 and we're facing a two game skid. But, I'm going to talk shit. Now, I can accept defeat, and I will admit when we got our asses handed to us. Today is one of those days. So, I have to talk shit about something. Today, I choose to talk shit about two of the biggest assholes I have ever seen. And no, I am not talking about the McCourts. I am talking about Phil Mickelson and Ron Artest. These guys have nothing to do with the Red Sox, but they are on my list of current assholes who must win my respect.
We'll start with Lefty. I have never been a fan of Phil. I usually am a sucker for left handed golfers. They never had it easy. Golf courses just weren't designed for lefties at all. Then, technology took over and for a while there golf courses weren't designed for pros. now, they make the necessary changes so that length isn't everything. Anyhow, Phil, the lefty has never had it easy. what he does have is the looks, the game and the bag of tricks that is second to no other golfer. I'm not sure why I started hating Phil, or when I began to despise the guy. I just knew I did. then when Tiger's dominance started to take place it became a simple rivalry. USC-UCLA. Dodgers-Angels. Chevy-Ford. There was Tiger-Phil. My father said we were Tiger people. the line was drawn there. Then I had my brother who is the biggest Phil dick rider ever. i had to hear about how he was better than tiger, though another thing Phil never possessed was the World #1 ranking. A ranking Tiger held 623 weeks of his life. I will say this though. Phil could one day hold that ranking. I do not believe Tiger will ever hold that ranking again. Anyway, constantly hearing about him made things worse. Then there was the whole 2009 Players. I had recently acquired a 2007 Masters flag, a year in which Lefty won. It was for my brother and I was going home a few weeks later. So, I decided to sit out and wait for Phil to sign my flag. i didn't think it would be a big deal. He was a golfer. He wasn't "Tiger Woods" great, but a great golfer indeed. Boy, there was a huge amount of people waiting and I was in front. Me, Phillies fan #1 and Terp fan/player #1 were right there. Here he came. Sharpie in hand. He looks at the crowd and says i don't sign balls. Great, I had a flag, a Masters flag for a year he won. i was in. So, he starts to get closer and I genuinely get excited. I'm excited that my brother, Bud Light fan #1, was going to get a 2007 masters flag with Phil's ink on it. I was goin' apeshit. Here he comes. Two people away from me. Right next to me, on my left. Then without hesitation, he looks me in the eye, shoots me a quick half smile, reaches for the hat behind me and signs it. It was Terp fan/player #1's hat. I go to hand him my flag as it was now my turn and before I could even ask him, he is right next to me, except to my right side. Within 60 seconds, he is ten people away and fading. I can't even hear him joke with the crowd. But, he makes his way back towards us. He's here and I just know he forgot about my flag and was making his way back. He gets right in front of me. His DNA being breathed onto my flag, and he walks by me again. I look at Phillies fan #1 and he too got snubbed. Phil looks right at us and says "That's it everyone. I'm done." I had to hold back. I was pretty close to jumping the gate and shanking his ass with his fuckin' Sharpie. I couldn't fuckin' believe it. This guy that he was better than me. this left handed golfer thought he could diss me like that. I walked away and had some rough things to say about him. Fast forward 350 days. TPC 2010 was coming up and I had a game plan. I was going to order the same hat he wears with the pink ribbon on the side. I was going to ask him to sign it. I figured he would have to sign it. Maybe he thought we would just sell the Masters flags and passed on us. So, the hat was my plan B. I go to order the hat and get to the checkout window and fins that you have to be a fuckin' KPMG employee to order it. I immediately hate HIM again. So, we get to the tourney and we see him and he won't sign anyone that wasn't a hot chick or under the age of 12. This guy is larger than life on the tour. I'll admit I asked Stevie for an autograph, not even Tiger, and he declined as well. anyhow, this is the last year I will attempt to get a Phil autograph. I will go through many great lengths to get it this yr. I have plans C-Z this year. If I end up without a Phil auto, i will forever despise this motherfucker!
Ron Ron. Where do I start with this guy? I didn't hate him when he attacked the fan in Detroit. I didn't even dislike him when he was in HOU and gave us a run for our money. In fact, i couldn't wait to try and land him on the team. Then we get him last year and he has this great Twitter story about him finding a family in L.A. that he could hang out with. He saves us in OKC on Kobe's airball. He even drains some 3's to clinch the ring for us. then I hear the first thing I hated. He sold his championship ring. now, it was for a good cause, but c'mon man. Your championship ring. to me, that was a slap in the face of the Lakers' organization. Then the 2010-11 season happened. this guy just flat our drove me insane. He has that 'lame kid" syndrome that just gets it in his head that as soon as he gets the touch, he's puttin' it up. Alan Kordich syndrome. The only thing missing is his dad yelling "Pass it to Ron!" Anyhow, I think he cost us Game 1 against DAL. We're up 16 and he feels the need to start jackin' up shots from all over the court. That 16 point lead dwindled away as every miss turned into a basket for DAL and Dirk-a-Dirk. His stupid decisions are just becoming a bit much. His pimp slap of JJ Barea, landing him a 1 Game 3 suspension, was the last straw. Who knows, maybe we needed the spark. But, if things turn out the way I think they will. I will forever enshrine him as another asshole that must go.
Anyhow, I ranted and got the shit of my chest...I leave you with this. I found this song on World Star. It doesn't fit into what I wrote but this track is just fire to me...
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Day 34..Quatro de Mayo...
So, I’ve been way too busy being a Bostonian to realize that I haven’t updated this blog. So, here I am. The Red Sox got lucky and drew the Angels as the first of two series this week. They have already swept them earlier this year in Anaheim. Anaheim happens to be in Orange County. So, why are they called the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? Well, it’s all marketing. How can you market the Orange County Angels? How would you sell the Anaheim Angels? Oh wait, they tried that and no one showed up. Why didn’t they stick with the California Angels? Why don’t they try the Disneyland Angels? They would instantly become little kids’ favorite team. They only thing selling out of Orange County are the Housewives. Anyhow, it’s no wonder we beat ‘em six times this year already.
As I just mentioned, we beat them four teams earlier this season in Anaheim. Tonight, we play game three of another four game set. We outscored them 20-5 in the first four games in Anaheim. Through these two at Fenway, we’ve outscored them 16-8. I expect the same thing tonight. We have Beckett going tonight who has been OK this year. He hasn’t got much run support and his ERA is 2.65 on the year. He’s 2 and 1 and will soon be 3 and 1. He’s pitching against Santana who has been less than stellar this year, and I look for us to not only win tonight, but wrap another 4 game sweep of the Halos.
My foodie-ship for Boston has gotten off to a slow start. I’ve been trying to watch my diet. I will definitely go have some chowder tomorrow before I head out to work. I got a comment from my only documented follower. One of the statements was that Manhattan chowder was better than New England’s version. Though I absolutely love New England’s version, I must agree with Toon. I definitely enjoy the Manhattn chowder when matched up against the New England chowder. I love red broth. What can I say? Anyhow, I thought about some lobster rolls which can be considered more of a New England thing. Anyhow, truth is, I must match my weight and I must watch my sugar. So, I will throw something in the diet to satisfy my Boston soul, but I can’t indulge as much as I’d like to.
It’s the bottom half og the second inning and there is still no score. I thought for sure it would be wide open already. Any second now, the score will be a lot to a little. Until then, I leave you on this note…
As I just mentioned, we beat them four teams earlier this season in Anaheim. Tonight, we play game three of another four game set. We outscored them 20-5 in the first four games in Anaheim. Through these two at Fenway, we’ve outscored them 16-8. I expect the same thing tonight. We have Beckett going tonight who has been OK this year. He hasn’t got much run support and his ERA is 2.65 on the year. He’s 2 and 1 and will soon be 3 and 1. He’s pitching against Santana who has been less than stellar this year, and I look for us to not only win tonight, but wrap another 4 game sweep of the Halos.
My foodie-ship for Boston has gotten off to a slow start. I’ve been trying to watch my diet. I will definitely go have some chowder tomorrow before I head out to work. I got a comment from my only documented follower. One of the statements was that Manhattan chowder was better than New England’s version. Though I absolutely love New England’s version, I must agree with Toon. I definitely enjoy the Manhattn chowder when matched up against the New England chowder. I love red broth. What can I say? Anyhow, I thought about some lobster rolls which can be considered more of a New England thing. Anyhow, truth is, I must match my weight and I must watch my sugar. So, I will throw something in the diet to satisfy my Boston soul, but I can’t indulge as much as I’d like to.
It’s the bottom half og the second inning and there is still no score. I thought for sure it would be wide open already. Any second now, the score will be a lot to a little. Until then, I leave you on this note…
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Day 31 - Strange Brew...
First of all, I am extremely excited that my run with Milwaukee is over. What a horrible team. Talented, but they just have a hard time winning ball games. They finished the week 2-4. They won 5-0 on Friday night behind more solo shots, but lost Saturday and Sunday. IF I would have played the pool, I sure wouldn’t have picked them. But if I did, I would have been out. I heard from a credible source that half of the field is out already. It really is a tough pool. My brother, Yankees fan #1 runs great pools. If you are interested, too bad. If I haven’t invited you already, I probably never will.
Anyhow, I went ahead and closed the voting out and my team is…WAIT FOR IT…WAIT FOR IT…the Boston Red Sox. I am extremely excited to cover them this week. I can’t wait to dive into Beantown. The food, the culture, the love for Tom Brady (had to throw that one in there), the attitude, the absolute hate for the Yankees (at least this week as things will change next week as they become my team) and lastly, the food. I know I said it twice, but I am excited about the food part. I have to take it easy because I am trying, or “trying”, to watch what I eat. Seafood galore. First thing is some chowder. I know just the spot for that here in Jacksonville. For some reason, I absolutely love the chowder from Singleton’s. Creamy, hearty and full of goodness.
There are some things about Boston I will not indulge in. First thing is the accent. I just can’t live with the accent. I had to stop watching The Town because the accent was a bit much. Second thing is the Celtics. I refuse to ever, and I mean EVER, cheer for those bastards. All you Boston fans, work with me here. You have to understand the hatred I possess for them. The thought of me rooting for them makes me sick. If that’s your team, more power to you because if so, you hate my team. The last thing I can’t do is the marathon. For obvious reasons such as nicotine addiction, my ongoing battle with obesity and the fact that the only time I run is when “out of breath” follows those words. I’m actually lying because I have been running a little bit at the gym, but it makes for a better satirical plotline.
So, stay tuned this week. I promise I will be more inspired. I will finish The Town, and I will stomach the accent along with a few bowls of chowder. I will try and run 10% of the marathon collectively during the week. Hell, I might even cheer for the Celtics as long as the line permits me to do so. I’m thinking of taking advantage of the gift us degenerates will get with the price being just right to fire on ‘em in Game 3 against Miami next Saturday. The NBA threw them a bone giving them a full three days off before heading home to host the Heat in Game 3. All I know is, I am fucking excited. Go Patriots! And Let’s go Red Sox…
I leave you with this…
Anyhow, I went ahead and closed the voting out and my team is…WAIT FOR IT…WAIT FOR IT…the Boston Red Sox. I am extremely excited to cover them this week. I can’t wait to dive into Beantown. The food, the culture, the love for Tom Brady (had to throw that one in there), the attitude, the absolute hate for the Yankees (at least this week as things will change next week as they become my team) and lastly, the food. I know I said it twice, but I am excited about the food part. I have to take it easy because I am trying, or “trying”, to watch what I eat. Seafood galore. First thing is some chowder. I know just the spot for that here in Jacksonville. For some reason, I absolutely love the chowder from Singleton’s. Creamy, hearty and full of goodness.
There are some things about Boston I will not indulge in. First thing is the accent. I just can’t live with the accent. I had to stop watching The Town because the accent was a bit much. Second thing is the Celtics. I refuse to ever, and I mean EVER, cheer for those bastards. All you Boston fans, work with me here. You have to understand the hatred I possess for them. The thought of me rooting for them makes me sick. If that’s your team, more power to you because if so, you hate my team. The last thing I can’t do is the marathon. For obvious reasons such as nicotine addiction, my ongoing battle with obesity and the fact that the only time I run is when “out of breath” follows those words. I’m actually lying because I have been running a little bit at the gym, but it makes for a better satirical plotline.
So, stay tuned this week. I promise I will be more inspired. I will finish The Town, and I will stomach the accent along with a few bowls of chowder. I will try and run 10% of the marathon collectively during the week. Hell, I might even cheer for the Celtics as long as the line permits me to do so. I’m thinking of taking advantage of the gift us degenerates will get with the price being just right to fire on ‘em in Game 3 against Miami next Saturday. The NBA threw them a bone giving them a full three days off before heading home to host the Heat in Game 3. All I know is, I am fucking excited. Go Patriots! And Let’s go Red Sox…
I leave you with this…
Friday, April 29, 2011
Day 29 - Brew(ers) Ha Ha!!!
So, my Brewers are 1-2 this week. I last left you on Monday not so excited about the Brew Crew as my team this week. Let me tell you, NOTHING HAS CHANGED. They are so uninspiring. Milwaukee just doesn’t seem like an exciting place to live. I roamed the web and the forums and the blogs and every possible nook and cranny that the interwebs has to offer, but nothing came up revealing how great a place Milwaukee is. On a couple sites that offered lists on what to do when in Milwaukee, they mentioned a Brewers game as a thing to do. I mean, a fuckin’ Brewers game is some of the best you have to offer Milwaukee? When I queried great people of Milwaukee, Laverne and Shirley came up in the top 5. That’s what the rest of the US of A thinks, but your own people think that? Sad…So sad…
Anyhow, as uninspired as I am, the show must go on. My boys lost on Monday to CIN, as you already know. On Tuesday they won on three solo homers. Wednesday ended with a 6-7 loss in the 10th. Now, I will say one thing about the Brewers. They have some sticks on the team. Braun leads the majors with 9 dingers this season. Prince “I (h)ate my daddy” Fielder has 23 RBI, which ranks second in the majors and first in the NL. Rickie Weeks is a solid player at second base. I would say “scrappy”, but the show The League mandates that the term “scrappy” is reserved for white players. So, we’ll go with “solid”. Team AVG is second in the majors behind STL. The pitching staff is middle of the road, with Gallardo as our ace. Those last four words say it all. He’s simply an average pitcher with flashes of brilliance too few and far between. But, that is my team until Monday. It’s not too late to vote for my next team. BOS is leading the way. Voting is here: Vote for Kui's team .
Tonight, we travel to HOU for a three game set. YAY!!! I’m not cheering. I’m demanding some YAY in order to stay awake during this snoozer of a game. I can’t wait ‘til Monday. I hope inspiration comes via email, mail or a sign from God because being a Brewer fan sucks. I’m leaning towards secret fist pumps for the Cubs simply because misery is part of becoming the Cubs fan. It’s just miserable to be a Brewers fan. So, I can’t wait for Monday. I leave you with this…
Anyhow, as uninspired as I am, the show must go on. My boys lost on Monday to CIN, as you already know. On Tuesday they won on three solo homers. Wednesday ended with a 6-7 loss in the 10th. Now, I will say one thing about the Brewers. They have some sticks on the team. Braun leads the majors with 9 dingers this season. Prince “I (h)ate my daddy” Fielder has 23 RBI, which ranks second in the majors and first in the NL. Rickie Weeks is a solid player at second base. I would say “scrappy”, but the show The League mandates that the term “scrappy” is reserved for white players. So, we’ll go with “solid”. Team AVG is second in the majors behind STL. The pitching staff is middle of the road, with Gallardo as our ace. Those last four words say it all. He’s simply an average pitcher with flashes of brilliance too few and far between. But, that is my team until Monday. It’s not too late to vote for my next team. BOS is leading the way. Voting is here: Vote for Kui's team .
Tonight, we travel to HOU for a three game set. YAY!!! I’m not cheering. I’m demanding some YAY in order to stay awake during this snoozer of a game. I can’t wait ‘til Monday. I hope inspiration comes via email, mail or a sign from God because being a Brewer fan sucks. I’m leaning towards secret fist pumps for the Cubs simply because misery is part of becoming the Cubs fan. It’s just miserable to be a Brewers fan. So, I can’t wait for Monday. I leave you with this…
Monday, April 25, 2011
Day 25 - Detroit WINNING...Next Stop: MILWAUKEE!
So, Detroit had the second best record of the week going 5-1. They were second only to BOS who went 6-1 from Monday to Sunday. It’s too bad I cheaped out on the .500 or better pool. I would still be alive. We obviously swept the “Can’t Win Shits”. We looked really good. Actually, THEY looked good as I have moved on. All of a sudden I realized I DID have a job. I did not have the urge to go and rob somebody all in the name of feeding my family. It feels good to know that I am a productive part of society. It feels good to know that my state has two good football teams in the Pack and the Badgers. I’m a fuckin’ Milwaukee Brewers fan now and I love beer. I didn’t need to be a Brewers fan to love beer, but now I really love beer. I love cheese. I fuckin’ love Laverne De Fazio and Shirley Feeney. I love saying YELLING “Schlemiel. Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!” I’m in Milwaukee bitch (somehow that just doesn’t sound catchy enough for LMFAO to make a remix especially for this town).
Anyway, my Brewers are catching a beat down right now. It’s 7-1 and it looks like we might drop to 11-11. 0-1 on the week and fading fast. I’m not sure who did what, but by the 1 in the run column, I would guess that nobody did. I’m afraid to even look at the box score. I can’t say I’m very inspired to write about them, but maybe, just maybe, they might do something this week. I just figured that I would roll with them since they were tied with the Tigers after the voting last week. So, I’m stuck. But, make no mistake about it. I will root my ass off. Just because I don’t blog about it, doesn’t mean that I won’t stick to my guns. Though it’s only been a few weeks, I have made it this far. Next week is up in the air as far as what team I’m rooting for, but let’s hope I make it through this week unscathed. I will open up voting and pick one of the big market teams. Voting is here: Vote for Kui's team . If the link doesn't worm, make it work like Craig's cereal.
anyhow, my boys made it look less blowout-ish. Final was 9-5. 0-1 and we're rolling downhill because that's how shit rolls. Milwaukee stand the fuck up. Let's get it. I leave on this note...
Anyway, my Brewers are catching a beat down right now. It’s 7-1 and it looks like we might drop to 11-11. 0-1 on the week and fading fast. I’m not sure who did what, but by the 1 in the run column, I would guess that nobody did. I’m afraid to even look at the box score. I can’t say I’m very inspired to write about them, but maybe, just maybe, they might do something this week. I just figured that I would roll with them since they were tied with the Tigers after the voting last week. So, I’m stuck. But, make no mistake about it. I will root my ass off. Just because I don’t blog about it, doesn’t mean that I won’t stick to my guns. Though it’s only been a few weeks, I have made it this far. Next week is up in the air as far as what team I’m rooting for, but let’s hope I make it through this week unscathed. I will open up voting and pick one of the big market teams. Voting is here: Vote for Kui's team . If the link doesn't worm, make it work like Craig's cereal.
anyhow, my boys made it look less blowout-ish. Final was 9-5. 0-1 and we're rolling downhill because that's how shit rolls. Milwaukee stand the fuck up. Let's get it. I leave on this note...
Saturday, April 23, 2011
April 23rd - Day 23....Slackin' and WINNING!!!
I've been slackin a little bit, and my Tigers, well, they've been winning, not just winning, but WINNING! Charlie fucking Sheen winning. I left you on Wednesday waiting for the tigers to win the rubber match against the Starbuckiners. They won that game 3-2. Porcello pitched a beautiful game. Valverde picked up his 4th save and seems to be pitching pretty decent. He must have been jacked up on coffee. I mean, it must be in the water up there. they've been playing like they've been sniffing the damn beans.
They were off Thursday, and so was I. I kind of been getting into the NBA playoffs. My boys have been playing decent. They're up 2-1 on NOH right now, but we'll get into that later. right now, it's about the Tigers.
Friday was a convincing win 9-3. We came home to play against the White Sox, the other Chicago team. Though not as miserable, they're just not as popular. they do have some of the sweetest old school jerseys the game has ever seen. I like unusual shit when it comes to clothes, and those SOX jerseys were off the hook. That font was ridiculous. There should be a SOX font. Anyhow, those jerseys are about the only thing good about that team. Oh, I can't forget Ozzie. He has got to be the best press conference happy manager in all of baseball. But, enough praise about those bums from Comiskey. These guys are horrible. though we aren't the best team, these guys just flat out stink. "Stink on shit" stink. They're five games below .500. They don't play in the Eastern Conference of the NBA, so that ain't good. It's certainly not playoff worthy. Our bats ain't known to light up the scoreboard, but 9 runs on Friday, and then 9 runs on Saturday has me starting to believe.
As I just mentioned, we just beat the shit out of the CWS 9-0 tonight. Raburn had 7 RBI's in the last two games. We're 7-3 in the last 10, going 4-1 this week alone with one more to go. I might as well say 5-1 this week because we WILL complete the sweep tomorrow. I mean, the CWS, which also stands for CAN'T WIN SHIT, just, well, CAN'T WIN SHIT! I hope somebody picked them in the >500 or better pool ,which I just couldn't afford to play. Unfortunately, there is not a lay-away plan for these pools.
Ok, on to playoffs and football. Not American football, but FOOTBALL. First, the NHL playoffs are going on right now. I got one thing to say about that and that is: The NHL playoffs are going on right now. NEXT! Not "We Got Next" like the WNBA, that's up in May. I can't wait as they kick off in Manchester, England (sarcasm inserted here). On that note, my boys, Manchester United, are atop the English Premier League standings. We start the Semi-finals of UEFA Champions League on Tuesday. this could be our year. We're playing extremely well right now. Actually, we're playing extremely healthy right now, which is everything in football. If you stay healthy, you have a chance. I won't bore you much more with football talk. American's love for football stops at soccer moms.
NBA Playoffs. This is worthy of it's own paragraph or paragraphs for that matter. This year has been good. Some of the match ups are actually good. SOME of them. BOS-NYK was supposed to be good, but NYK just flat out doesn't have what it takes to compete with BOS. they miss too many shots. They play about zero defense. If you're not going to play defense, you have to score 95+ to win a series. Amare is a beast, and so is Melo. But, Amare doesn't play enough defense to stop anyone in the paint. Add a guard like Rondo running through that paint, and it spells trouble. BOS wraps up the sweep next game.
There are other matchups that bore me. MEM-SA is boring. SA looks old and run down because they're old and run down. MEM can definitely win this series. they have too much youth. Each game SA looks more tired and MEM can go up 3-1 with another win at home. Look for SA to fade and MEM to win in 6.
Another boring matchup is ATL-ORL. This is supposed to be ORL's series but ATL looks far better than ORL does. The Hawks look like they want to win. ORL is playing like they expect to win. Not in the NBA. Not because it's so competitive, but as long as those ref's are out there, nothing can be expected. They're job is not to ref games. No, not that at all. They're jobs are to control the game so that teams have a chance to keep it close. Long gone are the days of letting guys play. A foul in the first quarter is not longer a foul in the fourth. These guys make sure it's close so that people will watch. I won't get into too much about the conspiracy of it all, which is ALL OPINION BTW, but I will voice it.
DAL-POR is an upset waiting to happen. POR is just a better defensive team than Dallas is. Roy's robotic knees are starting to take shape. Batum is a bad motherfucker too. He has the wallet to prove it I'm sure. Aldridge and Miller are soild guys and this team will beat DAL in 7. You can't count DAL out as long as the second ugliest guy in the NBA is playing. that would be Dirk-a-Dirk, who is second to Turkoglu. My friend once said (and I do not in any way support this comment) "Turkoglu looks like god was going to make him retarded, but changed his mind half way through it." That's all I'm gonna say about it. anyhow, I think POR wins and loses next round.
MIA rolls. CHI rolls too. OKC will beat DEN easily as well. Which leaves my Lakers. boy, they are playing a little bit uninspired. I think they will beat NOH but I'm not sure they can hang with an OKC team as young as they are. We're up 2-1, but we look flat. Game 3 was a solid win. It's pretty simple. If we shut down Paul, or even SLOW DOWN Paul, we win. If we let him hit his jumpers, he gains confidence. After that, we're chasing that little fucker around and other guys make plays. We must tighten up. We must play like the Championship runs through L.A. because it does. If I had to pick a team to win the title, right this second it would be MIA. they are playing the kind of game that refs can't control. Fast break, knock down basket ball. If the current Laker team faced off against the currrent Heat team, we would be in trouble.
Anyhow, I have not forgotten that today, now Sunday, is Easter. Without Him, none of this would be possible. Not Playoffs, not blogging, not breathing. I will not get all preacher on you. I just want to say that I remember. So, excuse any foul language as it is just part of who I am. And I'm not talking to the readers because I could care less how you feel about me. If you read through all that bullshit above, you love it. I leave you on this note. But first, the reason I leave you on this note is because Yankees fan #1, also Jets fan #1, asked when I will be switching to the Darkside for a week. Anyhow, Yankees fan #1 is a Dead Head. So, this...
They were off Thursday, and so was I. I kind of been getting into the NBA playoffs. My boys have been playing decent. They're up 2-1 on NOH right now, but we'll get into that later. right now, it's about the Tigers.
Friday was a convincing win 9-3. We came home to play against the White Sox, the other Chicago team. Though not as miserable, they're just not as popular. they do have some of the sweetest old school jerseys the game has ever seen. I like unusual shit when it comes to clothes, and those SOX jerseys were off the hook. That font was ridiculous. There should be a SOX font. Anyhow, those jerseys are about the only thing good about that team. Oh, I can't forget Ozzie. He has got to be the best press conference happy manager in all of baseball. But, enough praise about those bums from Comiskey. These guys are horrible. though we aren't the best team, these guys just flat out stink. "Stink on shit" stink. They're five games below .500. They don't play in the Eastern Conference of the NBA, so that ain't good. It's certainly not playoff worthy. Our bats ain't known to light up the scoreboard, but 9 runs on Friday, and then 9 runs on Saturday has me starting to believe.
As I just mentioned, we just beat the shit out of the CWS 9-0 tonight. Raburn had 7 RBI's in the last two games. We're 7-3 in the last 10, going 4-1 this week alone with one more to go. I might as well say 5-1 this week because we WILL complete the sweep tomorrow. I mean, the CWS, which also stands for CAN'T WIN SHIT, just, well, CAN'T WIN SHIT! I hope somebody picked them in the >500 or better pool ,which I just couldn't afford to play. Unfortunately, there is not a lay-away plan for these pools.
Ok, on to playoffs and football. Not American football, but FOOTBALL. First, the NHL playoffs are going on right now. I got one thing to say about that and that is: The NHL playoffs are going on right now. NEXT! Not "We Got Next" like the WNBA, that's up in May. I can't wait as they kick off in Manchester, England (sarcasm inserted here). On that note, my boys, Manchester United, are atop the English Premier League standings. We start the Semi-finals of UEFA Champions League on Tuesday. this could be our year. We're playing extremely well right now. Actually, we're playing extremely healthy right now, which is everything in football. If you stay healthy, you have a chance. I won't bore you much more with football talk. American's love for football stops at soccer moms.
NBA Playoffs. This is worthy of it's own paragraph or paragraphs for that matter. This year has been good. Some of the match ups are actually good. SOME of them. BOS-NYK was supposed to be good, but NYK just flat out doesn't have what it takes to compete with BOS. they miss too many shots. They play about zero defense. If you're not going to play defense, you have to score 95+ to win a series. Amare is a beast, and so is Melo. But, Amare doesn't play enough defense to stop anyone in the paint. Add a guard like Rondo running through that paint, and it spells trouble. BOS wraps up the sweep next game.
There are other matchups that bore me. MEM-SA is boring. SA looks old and run down because they're old and run down. MEM can definitely win this series. they have too much youth. Each game SA looks more tired and MEM can go up 3-1 with another win at home. Look for SA to fade and MEM to win in 6.
Another boring matchup is ATL-ORL. This is supposed to be ORL's series but ATL looks far better than ORL does. The Hawks look like they want to win. ORL is playing like they expect to win. Not in the NBA. Not because it's so competitive, but as long as those ref's are out there, nothing can be expected. They're job is not to ref games. No, not that at all. They're jobs are to control the game so that teams have a chance to keep it close. Long gone are the days of letting guys play. A foul in the first quarter is not longer a foul in the fourth. These guys make sure it's close so that people will watch. I won't get into too much about the conspiracy of it all, which is ALL OPINION BTW, but I will voice it.
DAL-POR is an upset waiting to happen. POR is just a better defensive team than Dallas is. Roy's robotic knees are starting to take shape. Batum is a bad motherfucker too. He has the wallet to prove it I'm sure. Aldridge and Miller are soild guys and this team will beat DAL in 7. You can't count DAL out as long as the second ugliest guy in the NBA is playing. that would be Dirk-a-Dirk, who is second to Turkoglu. My friend once said (and I do not in any way support this comment) "Turkoglu looks like god was going to make him retarded, but changed his mind half way through it." That's all I'm gonna say about it. anyhow, I think POR wins and loses next round.
MIA rolls. CHI rolls too. OKC will beat DEN easily as well. Which leaves my Lakers. boy, they are playing a little bit uninspired. I think they will beat NOH but I'm not sure they can hang with an OKC team as young as they are. We're up 2-1, but we look flat. Game 3 was a solid win. It's pretty simple. If we shut down Paul, or even SLOW DOWN Paul, we win. If we let him hit his jumpers, he gains confidence. After that, we're chasing that little fucker around and other guys make plays. We must tighten up. We must play like the Championship runs through L.A. because it does. If I had to pick a team to win the title, right this second it would be MIA. they are playing the kind of game that refs can't control. Fast break, knock down basket ball. If the current Laker team faced off against the currrent Heat team, we would be in trouble.
Anyhow, I have not forgotten that today, now Sunday, is Easter. Without Him, none of this would be possible. Not Playoffs, not blogging, not breathing. I will not get all preacher on you. I just want to say that I remember. So, excuse any foul language as it is just part of who I am. And I'm not talking to the readers because I could care less how you feel about me. If you read through all that bullshit above, you love it. I leave you on this note. But first, the reason I leave you on this note is because Yankees fan #1, also Jets fan #1, asked when I will be switching to the Darkside for a week. Anyhow, Yankees fan #1 is a Dead Head. So, this...
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Day 20 - the process has begun...
So, apparently Asshole #1 was forced to borrow $30,000,000.00 from FOX to make payroll. That is the kind of bullshit that pisses me off. Apparently, Bud Selig had enough too.
Selig's complete statement:
"Pursuant to my authority as Commissioner, I informed Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt today that I will appoint a representative to oversee all aspects of the business and the day-to-day operations of the Club. I have taken this action because of my deep concerns regarding the finances and operations of the Dodgers and to protect the best interests of the Club, its great fans and all of Major League Baseball. My office will continue its thorough investigation into the operations and finances of the Dodgers and related entities during the period of Mr. McCourt's ownership. I will announce the name of my representative in the next several days. The Dodgers have been one of the most prestigious franchises in all of sports, and we owe it to their legion of loyal fans to ensure that this club is being operated properly now and will be guided appropriately in the future."
GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE FRANK!
I will leave on this note. This song makes me want to slap some Asada on th grill and toss a few back...
Selig's complete statement:
"Pursuant to my authority as Commissioner, I informed Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt today that I will appoint a representative to oversee all aspects of the business and the day-to-day operations of the Club. I have taken this action because of my deep concerns regarding the finances and operations of the Dodgers and to protect the best interests of the Club, its great fans and all of Major League Baseball. My office will continue its thorough investigation into the operations and finances of the Dodgers and related entities during the period of Mr. McCourt's ownership. I will announce the name of my representative in the next several days. The Dodgers have been one of the most prestigious franchises in all of sports, and we owe it to their legion of loyal fans to ensure that this club is being operated properly now and will be guided appropriately in the future."
GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE FRANK!
I will leave on this note. This song makes me want to slap some Asada on th grill and toss a few back...
Day 20 - It's 420. Do you know where your children are?
So, I knew that last night was going to be rough after I basically celebrated too early. But, I figured it was Seattle and we would run right through them. Looks like I was wrong. We got our asses handed to us. That was a good, old fashioned ass whooping. They looked terrible, or so I heard. It was so fuckin' late, I didn't have a chance to watch it. I happened to end up on MLB.com at about 130a and found that the score was a shit ton to very little. I was genuinely pissed off. I mean, how did we lose to this awful club? I'm going to write the team and let them know that there are plenty of players that are willing to give 110% for league minimum all throughout the country. There must be 575 minor league teams. See, I know a guy right. well, I don't know the guy, but I "know' the guy ya know. If you have no idea what I mean, then most of this blog must be puzzling to you.
Anyway, there's this guy. He is affiliated with a minor league team in the state of Nevada. He also does shit for a developmental hoops team, but that's beside the point. I'm sure he could send me some standard def video on some up and coming ball players (or down and out guys like jobbers in pro wrestling) straight to my Youtube app on my Droid. So, though Michigan has it rough right now, I'm sure they have a pc capable of pulling up some scouting video and pick someone up. And really quick on the topic of picking up. How many Big Macs has Miguel Cabrera picked up lately? He supposedly put down the bottle, but if he did, he just picked up something a lot heavier. I remember wen he was in Florida, he looked like he was 14. Now that I think about it, he probably was, but now, he looks like he ate 14 babies. He is huge. He reminds of Prince Fielder. Not the Prince of Milwaukee, but the REAL Prince Fielder. King Prince Fielder. He was pushing about 295 and if he got any kind of bat on the ball, it was gone. Then there was Gibby. What a beast he was. You all know what a special place he holds in my heart. Trammell, Parrish, Whitaker, Morris and the rest of the 1984 World Series winning team. Then there were the two most famous face ever to don a Tigers cap. I'm not talkin' Sparky. I'm not talking Ty "I will spike you ankles" Cobb. I'm talking about Darrin "Doughboy" Baker and Thomas Magnum.
Doughboy was played by none other than O'Shea Jackson aka Ice Cube in Boyz n the Hood. That movie was one of the most culturally relevant, well "culturally significant", films o the modern era. That movie let the rest of the world know what was really going on in the late 80's and early 90's in Los Skanless. Shit was poppin' off. I come from a more predominantly Sureno neighborhood, but make no mistake about it. Shit was just like the movie. The modern day Wild Wild West. People died everyday from gang violence. Fights, gunshots, stabbings. The list goes on and on. Anyway, Doughboy was a fuckin' G. He was L.A. He was a typical boy in the hood. "Y'all wanna see a dead body?" That's my favorite part of the movie.
And then there was Thomas Magnum. Though he wasn't my favorite character a TC stole the show from him, Magnum was a different kind of gangster. He was a P.I., hence the name Magnum P.I., and he solved everything. He rode around in a Ferarri, rocked aloha shirts nd bermuda shorts with a 4" inseam, and wore no socks with his tennis shoes. That all equated to sleeping with every victim on the show. A lady rolls up, can't figure out what happened to her jade ring that her uncle found in Malaysia and is 100 years old. He would somehow, find the ring, catch the badguy, and wake up with the chick right before the credits rolled. Let's just hope he got his payment first. If not, the show is all for nothing and should be re-titled Magnum P.I. - Sucker Incorporated. Anyway, he was the 'stache of the 80's. I wonder how much cocaine was trapped in that thing. No matter what anyone says, Magnum was the Tigers un-official poster boy.
My boys better win tonight. I'll take 2 out of 3. Who wouldn't? It's a series win. rubber match tonight though we plan on wearing no rubber when we give it to those bitches tonight. Raw Dog. Hopefully I can find a good stream to watch it. I leave you with this song that got me through the 12.5 incline on the treadmill today...Happy 4/20 everyone...
Anyway, there's this guy. He is affiliated with a minor league team in the state of Nevada. He also does shit for a developmental hoops team, but that's beside the point. I'm sure he could send me some standard def video on some up and coming ball players (or down and out guys like jobbers in pro wrestling) straight to my Youtube app on my Droid. So, though Michigan has it rough right now, I'm sure they have a pc capable of pulling up some scouting video and pick someone up. And really quick on the topic of picking up. How many Big Macs has Miguel Cabrera picked up lately? He supposedly put down the bottle, but if he did, he just picked up something a lot heavier. I remember wen he was in Florida, he looked like he was 14. Now that I think about it, he probably was, but now, he looks like he ate 14 babies. He is huge. He reminds of Prince Fielder. Not the Prince of Milwaukee, but the REAL Prince Fielder. King Prince Fielder. He was pushing about 295 and if he got any kind of bat on the ball, it was gone. Then there was Gibby. What a beast he was. You all know what a special place he holds in my heart. Trammell, Parrish, Whitaker, Morris and the rest of the 1984 World Series winning team. Then there were the two most famous face ever to don a Tigers cap. I'm not talkin' Sparky. I'm not talking Ty "I will spike you ankles" Cobb. I'm talking about Darrin "Doughboy" Baker and Thomas Magnum.
Doughboy was played by none other than O'Shea Jackson aka Ice Cube in Boyz n the Hood. That movie was one of the most culturally relevant, well "culturally significant", films o the modern era. That movie let the rest of the world know what was really going on in the late 80's and early 90's in Los Skanless. Shit was poppin' off. I come from a more predominantly Sureno neighborhood, but make no mistake about it. Shit was just like the movie. The modern day Wild Wild West. People died everyday from gang violence. Fights, gunshots, stabbings. The list goes on and on. Anyway, Doughboy was a fuckin' G. He was L.A. He was a typical boy in the hood. "Y'all wanna see a dead body?" That's my favorite part of the movie.
And then there was Thomas Magnum. Though he wasn't my favorite character a TC stole the show from him, Magnum was a different kind of gangster. He was a P.I., hence the name Magnum P.I., and he solved everything. He rode around in a Ferarri, rocked aloha shirts nd bermuda shorts with a 4" inseam, and wore no socks with his tennis shoes. That all equated to sleeping with every victim on the show. A lady rolls up, can't figure out what happened to her jade ring that her uncle found in Malaysia and is 100 years old. He would somehow, find the ring, catch the badguy, and wake up with the chick right before the credits rolled. Let's just hope he got his payment first. If not, the show is all for nothing and should be re-titled Magnum P.I. - Sucker Incorporated. Anyway, he was the 'stache of the 80's. I wonder how much cocaine was trapped in that thing. No matter what anyone says, Magnum was the Tigers un-official poster boy.
My boys better win tonight. I'll take 2 out of 3. Who wouldn't? It's a series win. rubber match tonight though we plan on wearing no rubber when we give it to those bitches tonight. Raw Dog. Hopefully I can find a good stream to watch it. I leave you with this song that got me through the 12.5 incline on the treadmill today...Happy 4/20 everyone...
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Day 19 - Detroit Day 2
Apparently, I got my days mixed up. the count was a little off. I figured I could correct them, but who the hell cares. I'm not even sure anyone reads this. But, rest assured I got my days in order now. I didn't even have to go back and count. I started on April 1st. So, since today's the 19th, this is my, well, 19th day. Easy. Speaking of easy, my boys got an easy win last night. 8-3, no issues. We had one big inning and that's all you need against a sub-par team. I almost rushed down 95 South to head to the 24 hour Starbucks of CR 210 just to toast the the Mariners again. I would even go all out and get a White Chocolate Peppermint Cinnamon Stick with extra sugar in the tank.
On that subject, what is the obsession with Starbucks? I mean, I get the coffee addiction. I knew some people that were horrible when they didn't have their coffee. I mean, it was like two different people. They would glare at you at 7:55a on the way to their office, not say a word, go get their coffee, then come and ask how your day is. GTFOH! I don't care how your artificial day is because your real day, before the coffee, SUCKS! Anyhow, I get it. Coffee, some people need it. It's no different than cocaine or heroin. what I mean to say is the addiction isn't. I know some of you, if any, are shaking your head and acting like I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but think about it. The only reason why people aren't selling mom's wedding ring is because it's legal and available EVERYWHERE. You can go to Bubba's Bait shop and get meal worms, a dried gator foot back scratcher, and coffee. You can go to Winn Dixie, and not buy anything, and get free coffee (which can be clutch...I've heard). But, if you don' get it, you need it! You crave it. Then, you become this monster like in Lord of the Rings. Coffee consumes you! You do not consume it. It is just a legal drug and Starbucks is the Blue Magic of it all. There are other high end brands, but Starbucks rules all. People fuckin' line up and are willing to be 20 minutes late for work for Starbucks. There are places where there are two Starbucks in the same plaza in my hometown. At the beaches here, there were two across the street from each other. It's like crack dealers in the lows. All selling the same product and people lined up. I hear that in Seattle there are instances where there are more than 3 on the same block. It's madness.
Anyway, the whole point of the story was fuck Seattle and their Mariners. I like the city I guess. I have some family members up there. I like the throwing of the fish. I liked their whole grunge movement in the early 90's. I liked that Ice Cube said "the Lakers beat the Supersonics". But right now, right this very second, the Mariners are the enemy. Ain't no pitcher safe in Safeco. Ichiro you are the #1 asshole today (in Seattle, the #1 and #2 assholes are still the McCourts). See, my Tigers are there to win 3 straight. We're 33.33% there and tonight will be no different. Tonight we achieve....DRUMROLL....66.67%. FACT!
I leave you on this note...
On that subject, what is the obsession with Starbucks? I mean, I get the coffee addiction. I knew some people that were horrible when they didn't have their coffee. I mean, it was like two different people. They would glare at you at 7:55a on the way to their office, not say a word, go get their coffee, then come and ask how your day is. GTFOH! I don't care how your artificial day is because your real day, before the coffee, SUCKS! Anyhow, I get it. Coffee, some people need it. It's no different than cocaine or heroin. what I mean to say is the addiction isn't. I know some of you, if any, are shaking your head and acting like I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but think about it. The only reason why people aren't selling mom's wedding ring is because it's legal and available EVERYWHERE. You can go to Bubba's Bait shop and get meal worms, a dried gator foot back scratcher, and coffee. You can go to Winn Dixie, and not buy anything, and get free coffee (which can be clutch...I've heard). But, if you don' get it, you need it! You crave it. Then, you become this monster like in Lord of the Rings. Coffee consumes you! You do not consume it. It is just a legal drug and Starbucks is the Blue Magic of it all. There are other high end brands, but Starbucks rules all. People fuckin' line up and are willing to be 20 minutes late for work for Starbucks. There are places where there are two Starbucks in the same plaza in my hometown. At the beaches here, there were two across the street from each other. It's like crack dealers in the lows. All selling the same product and people lined up. I hear that in Seattle there are instances where there are more than 3 on the same block. It's madness.
Anyway, the whole point of the story was fuck Seattle and their Mariners. I like the city I guess. I have some family members up there. I like the throwing of the fish. I liked their whole grunge movement in the early 90's. I liked that Ice Cube said "the Lakers beat the Supersonics". But right now, right this very second, the Mariners are the enemy. Ain't no pitcher safe in Safeco. Ichiro you are the #1 asshole today (in Seattle, the #1 and #2 assholes are still the McCourts). See, my Tigers are there to win 3 straight. We're 33.33% there and tonight will be no different. Tonight we achieve....DRUMROLL....66.67%. FACT!
I leave you on this note...
Monday, April 18, 2011
Last weekend as the Braves fan...Next stop...DETROIT!!!
Being a Braves fan was not so exciting. To tell you the truth, and I'm sure you could tell, I was not inspired to write anything about them. They were so dry. I was afraid to smoke thinking that my fan-ship would go up in a wild brush fire. they managed to win both legs of the double header on Saturday and secure at least .500 for the week. So, that was a win in itself. They dropped the game Sunday but at that point, my fan-ship was over. I achieved the goal of being a "non-jinx".
I was excited to see that my poll question on Facebook gave me an option. There was a tie between the Tigers and the Brewers. The Brewers seemed like the obvious choice allowing me to consume large amounts of beer all in the name of rooting for my team. But then I thought, it would be so much easier being a fan that has a 75% chance of being unemployed. I have an even bigger chance to commit crimes. Hell I could even get away with being a HUUUUGE asshole (though not as big as the McCourts) like the guy from Hardcore Pawn. So, the Tigers it is.
I woke up this morning and felt as if my unemployment check was coming today. I was anxious. I was peeking out of my window waiting for the post lady to come and drop it in my mail box. I had my 9mm in my hand, Obie Trice was blasting through my cheap speakers via Winamp, and I was planning my "I aint got no job" day. Then, like my daddy caught me slippin, reality slapped me across my face and I realized I was living in my own beautiful dark twisted fantasy. I had to go to work in a little bit. I searched for my Detroit Tigers hat but found "Game of Thrones" on my DVR instead.
I have some time to kill as my boys don't play until 10:10 EST as they are in Seattle. Scherzer pitches tonight. so, we should be able to get the W tonight. The mariners aren't that impressive. We actually dodged a bullet by ducking Hernandez. King Felix is a beast. his numbers this year don't show it, but by the time he is a Yankee, he will be much more inspired. Anyhow, we managed to face three probable starters with a combined record of 0-7 and a 5.51 ERA. We'll see if we can generate some runs. Our probable aren't much better with a cmbined record 3-4 and an ERA that I didn't care to calculate but it was much better than 5.51. I don't need to know the ERA of our team, because we're gonna kick the shit out of the Mariners anyway. I may have a Starbucks to pay homage to the Seattle based team that may be bailing to Oklahoma City seeing how much fortune it brought the Sonics. That's what I would do anyway. Long gone are the days where Bret Boone anabolically hit 120 HR's and 448 RBI's over four seasons. Ichiro has lost his magic. He still hits for AVG, but AVG doesn't pack stadiums. I'd rather see a guy hit .260 with 200 K's but belt 40 HR's. I don't care if a guy can slap his way to first base. OK OK, I won't bash the Mariners anymore. the fact they play in Seattle is insult enough. I raise my Java Chip Frappucino and toast to you. Thanks for three more wins fuckers!
I was excited to see that my poll question on Facebook gave me an option. There was a tie between the Tigers and the Brewers. The Brewers seemed like the obvious choice allowing me to consume large amounts of beer all in the name of rooting for my team. But then I thought, it would be so much easier being a fan that has a 75% chance of being unemployed. I have an even bigger chance to commit crimes. Hell I could even get away with being a HUUUUGE asshole (though not as big as the McCourts) like the guy from Hardcore Pawn. So, the Tigers it is.
I woke up this morning and felt as if my unemployment check was coming today. I was anxious. I was peeking out of my window waiting for the post lady to come and drop it in my mail box. I had my 9mm in my hand, Obie Trice was blasting through my cheap speakers via Winamp, and I was planning my "I aint got no job" day. Then, like my daddy caught me slippin, reality slapped me across my face and I realized I was living in my own beautiful dark twisted fantasy. I had to go to work in a little bit. I searched for my Detroit Tigers hat but found "Game of Thrones" on my DVR instead.
I have some time to kill as my boys don't play until 10:10 EST as they are in Seattle. Scherzer pitches tonight. so, we should be able to get the W tonight. The mariners aren't that impressive. We actually dodged a bullet by ducking Hernandez. King Felix is a beast. his numbers this year don't show it, but by the time he is a Yankee, he will be much more inspired. Anyhow, we managed to face three probable starters with a combined record of 0-7 and a 5.51 ERA. We'll see if we can generate some runs. Our probable aren't much better with a cmbined record 3-4 and an ERA that I didn't care to calculate but it was much better than 5.51. I don't need to know the ERA of our team, because we're gonna kick the shit out of the Mariners anyway. I may have a Starbucks to pay homage to the Seattle based team that may be bailing to Oklahoma City seeing how much fortune it brought the Sonics. That's what I would do anyway. Long gone are the days where Bret Boone anabolically hit 120 HR's and 448 RBI's over four seasons. Ichiro has lost his magic. He still hits for AVG, but AVG doesn't pack stadiums. I'd rather see a guy hit .260 with 200 K's but belt 40 HR's. I don't care if a guy can slap his way to first base. OK OK, I won't bash the Mariners anymore. the fact they play in Seattle is insult enough. I raise my Java Chip Frappucino and toast to you. Thanks for three more wins fuckers!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Day 16...Oh, the agony!
So, this Braves thing isn't going as planned. After we almost got no-hit, we dropped another to the Marlins. Our only highlight was McCann's homer in the first inning. It was really our only strong inning. I'm starting to wonder if I am the bad luck. I'm starting to hope that I didn't bring the misery with me from Wrigley. I mean 1-2 already. Two losses to the Marlins. hey are 8-5 but they are still the Marlins. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Maybe next week I'll cheer for the Yankees. They seem to know how to win. But, the Yankees would be a tough pill to swallow. Not as tough as the Angels or Giants, but tough nonetheless.
I'm struggling for real here. I have no hope that the Braves are going to win 2 out of 3 to salvage a .500 week. they have a double header today since last night's game was postponed. This is starting to feel like I'm still rooting for the Dodgers, who, by the way, are 6-8. Which really shocks me. I would've figured they would be 4-10 by now. I saw that my brother went to the Dodger game the other day. Last season I would have been jealous, but this year, I was more pissed that the McCourt's suckered my own family into shoving money into their pockets. but, what can you do? As long as their the owners, they will sucker their fans into funding their McDivorceCourt.
I'm starting to feel as if I should give up on baseball, but I refuse. I refuse to let these assholes win. I will not allow these two assholes to run me out of the game that I love so much. I hope that people stand up to these clowns and tell them that enough is enough. I will be drafting a letter next week to the Dodgers organization, specifically the two assholes that are holding the team hostage.
Off track a little bit. I went to a place called the Secret Garden Cafe. My girlfriend has been itching to go there for quite some time. After a recommendation from my manager, we decided to finally go and boy was it amazing. I got the Alabama Meatloaf sandwich which is served on top of a piece of homemade bread. My girlfriend got the Monte Cristo and it was simply ridiculous. the AM sandwich had meatloaf, BBQ sauce, cheese and coleslaw. Her sandwich was a traditional Monte Cristo with turkey, ham, preserves and fried in butter. I was amazed at how good it really was. someone came in as we were finishing up and said they came all the way from Atlanta because they saw this place on TV. Apparently, Chef Robert Irvine featured it on some show and he also designed the interior of the restaurant. Anyhow here's the food and of course, my song of the day...
I'm struggling for real here. I have no hope that the Braves are going to win 2 out of 3 to salvage a .500 week. they have a double header today since last night's game was postponed. This is starting to feel like I'm still rooting for the Dodgers, who, by the way, are 6-8. Which really shocks me. I would've figured they would be 4-10 by now. I saw that my brother went to the Dodger game the other day. Last season I would have been jealous, but this year, I was more pissed that the McCourt's suckered my own family into shoving money into their pockets. but, what can you do? As long as their the owners, they will sucker their fans into funding their McDivorceCourt.
I'm starting to feel as if I should give up on baseball, but I refuse. I refuse to let these assholes win. I will not allow these two assholes to run me out of the game that I love so much. I hope that people stand up to these clowns and tell them that enough is enough. I will be drafting a letter next week to the Dodgers organization, specifically the two assholes that are holding the team hostage.
Off track a little bit. I went to a place called the Secret Garden Cafe. My girlfriend has been itching to go there for quite some time. After a recommendation from my manager, we decided to finally go and boy was it amazing. I got the Alabama Meatloaf sandwich which is served on top of a piece of homemade bread. My girlfriend got the Monte Cristo and it was simply ridiculous. the AM sandwich had meatloaf, BBQ sauce, cheese and coleslaw. Her sandwich was a traditional Monte Cristo with turkey, ham, preserves and fried in butter. I was amazed at how good it really was. someone came in as we were finishing up and said they came all the way from Atlanta because they saw this place on TV. Apparently, Chef Robert Irvine featured it on some show and he also designed the interior of the restaurant. Anyhow here's the food and of course, my song of the day...
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Day 12...Home of the Brave(s)
So, Day 2 as a Braves fan kind of went how I expected it to. I mean, I expect to win. No matter who my team is, I expect to win. That's the bottom line because Stone Cold...OK...I'll try and layoff the WWE. But, let me say this, now that the Rock, Stone Cold and Triple H are in full effect, I will watch Wrasslin' again. Anyhow, I can't promise there will be no more WWE references, but I will try my hardest.
So, Day 1 of being a Braves fan was easy as they had the day off. No big deal. I could use another day to wash off the misery of being a Cubs fan. So, I decided to use day 1 to refresh my memory on the team and boy was I surprised. First, I had no idea that our coach wasn't Bobby Cox. I thought for sure they would just prop him up in the dugout and use strings to make his arms make motions like he was into the game (a la Bobby Bowden, Joe Pa, Zimmer or Sparky). But Gonzalez? I looked him up and found two things about him. He used to coach the Marlins and he looks like a fat Mark Grace. Then , I was shocked to find that we don't play in Fulton County Stadium anymore. The surprises kept coming. No Glavine or Smoltz? Dale Murphy isn't in the OF. I mean I figured since Chipper was still there, those guys would be. But no, just Chipper and this beast of a player named Jason Heyward. According to Braves fan #1, he is a beast. I mean, last season he hit 18 HR and 72 RBI *yawn*. If you can't tell already I'm not overly impressed with Heyward, but this week, I think he is the fuckin' man.
Like I mentioned above, Day 2 was awesome. I actually got to watch my boys shut out the fish. Heyward hit a dinger, the fuckin' man-beast that he is. It was his third of the season. Hanson, who I truly believe is a beast, proved me right allowing 4 hits in seven innings. all in all, we looked good.
Day 3 started off optimistically. I got up early without this feeling of "is the season over"-ness. Then, I went and had a 5 egg omelette at Colonel Mustard's.
It's called Mustard's Mess and there's ham, sausage, bacon, mushrooms, onions, peppers and cheese. It was excellent and it was dirt cheap. $5.95 for that omelette with toast and potatoes. Pure goodness.
Anyway, I got home and watched Jonah Hex, which was a bad ass fuckin' movie. I also watched Cop Out which was just OK. I've never been a huge fan of Tracy Morgan, but he was the funniest one in the movie. After that was done, I took off for work. I was excited. We were going to sweep the fish, then the Mets this weekend. I log in to mlb.com and see that Johnson has a no-no going. I love no-hitters, but not when it's my team getting zero hits. Freddie Freeman broke up the no-no in the 8th. chipper breaks the shutout with a solo shot in the 9th. One win, one loss. Huge game for ME, not so huge for the Bravos. I will not go under 500 this week. We will not do it!
I want to become the real deal Braves fan. What is their staple food at the stadium? What do people in ATL do besides get their local Denny's noticed on World Star Hip Hop? The only thing I know about ATL is that I have to drink beer at the airport there to enjoy a cigarette. Help me out people...Leave you on this note just because this song is fuckin' sweet...
So, Day 1 of being a Braves fan was easy as they had the day off. No big deal. I could use another day to wash off the misery of being a Cubs fan. So, I decided to use day 1 to refresh my memory on the team and boy was I surprised. First, I had no idea that our coach wasn't Bobby Cox. I thought for sure they would just prop him up in the dugout and use strings to make his arms make motions like he was into the game (a la Bobby Bowden, Joe Pa, Zimmer or Sparky). But Gonzalez? I looked him up and found two things about him. He used to coach the Marlins and he looks like a fat Mark Grace. Then , I was shocked to find that we don't play in Fulton County Stadium anymore. The surprises kept coming. No Glavine or Smoltz? Dale Murphy isn't in the OF. I mean I figured since Chipper was still there, those guys would be. But no, just Chipper and this beast of a player named Jason Heyward. According to Braves fan #1, he is a beast. I mean, last season he hit 18 HR and 72 RBI *yawn*. If you can't tell already I'm not overly impressed with Heyward, but this week, I think he is the fuckin' man.
Like I mentioned above, Day 2 was awesome. I actually got to watch my boys shut out the fish. Heyward hit a dinger, the fuckin' man-beast that he is. It was his third of the season. Hanson, who I truly believe is a beast, proved me right allowing 4 hits in seven innings. all in all, we looked good.
Day 3 started off optimistically. I got up early without this feeling of "is the season over"-ness. Then, I went and had a 5 egg omelette at Colonel Mustard's.
It's called Mustard's Mess and there's ham, sausage, bacon, mushrooms, onions, peppers and cheese. It was excellent and it was dirt cheap. $5.95 for that omelette with toast and potatoes. Pure goodness.
Anyway, I got home and watched Jonah Hex, which was a bad ass fuckin' movie. I also watched Cop Out which was just OK. I've never been a huge fan of Tracy Morgan, but he was the funniest one in the movie. After that was done, I took off for work. I was excited. We were going to sweep the fish, then the Mets this weekend. I log in to mlb.com and see that Johnson has a no-no going. I love no-hitters, but not when it's my team getting zero hits. Freddie Freeman broke up the no-no in the 8th. chipper breaks the shutout with a solo shot in the 9th. One win, one loss. Huge game for ME, not so huge for the Bravos. I will not go under 500 this week. We will not do it!
I want to become the real deal Braves fan. What is their staple food at the stadium? What do people in ATL do besides get their local Denny's noticed on World Star Hip Hop? The only thing I know about ATL is that I have to drink beer at the airport there to enjoy a cigarette. Help me out people...Leave you on this note just because this song is fuckin' sweet...
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Day 10 - And then there was one...
Last night was a brutal night for the Cubbies. I returned to the scene of the crime. I went back and had a Chicago pizza while the game started. Again, that feeling has been haunting me all week comes back around. I'm literally nervous. Real life nervous. Then the bottom half of the 1st inning finishes, finally. We're down 2-0. I've lost hope. One inning in and there was absolutely no chance of winning. I didn't even watch another pitch. Later that night I saw the we lost. 6-0 was the final score and I wasn't surprised. The only surprise was that it wasn't 18-0.
This is rough. I still don't understand how Cubs fans do this. I mean, let's say Cubs fan #1 is 30 years old give or take a couple of years. If he's been a Cubs fan since he was 5, that means he has suffered through 25 years of not enjoying a World Series celebration. I was 9 when the dodgers won. I remember it like it was yesterday. In fact, Game 1, Kirk Gibson's pinch hit home run was the ONLY day i ever saw my parents' kiss each other. I get teary eyed every time I see that. "And look who's coming up." When I heard those words we all knew, but we still couldn't believe who was coming up to bat. "High fly ball in to right field...SHE IS GONE!" I got chicken skin thinking about that moment. "In a year that has been so improbable, the impossible has happened." Vin Scully is definitely part of one of the best days of my life. I start to feel for Cubs fan #1 who hasn't been able to enjoy one of those moments.
Last day to to root the Cubbies on. In 24 hours, I will be a Braves fan. I opened the vote on Facebook and the Braves are the next team. I'm thinking about opening the vote to my 3 readers (who voted on Facebook anyway)in hopes to that maybe stumbles across my blog. My friend runs a .500 or better MLB weekly pool. I'm thinking about joining that and making my team whoever I pick that week. We'll see. Anyhow, Cubs fans, I love you like family, but when the clock strikes midnight and my carriage becomes the pumpkin and the slipper no longer fits, it's farewell to the Windy City. It's ironic that the word "win" shows up there...
Cubs wrap up the series in MIL. For the sake of me not being bad luck, I hope they win this one. For Cubs fan #1, I hope this is your year as it is no longer mine. I leave yo on this note...ATL Here I come!!!
This is rough. I still don't understand how Cubs fans do this. I mean, let's say Cubs fan #1 is 30 years old give or take a couple of years. If he's been a Cubs fan since he was 5, that means he has suffered through 25 years of not enjoying a World Series celebration. I was 9 when the dodgers won. I remember it like it was yesterday. In fact, Game 1, Kirk Gibson's pinch hit home run was the ONLY day i ever saw my parents' kiss each other. I get teary eyed every time I see that. "And look who's coming up." When I heard those words we all knew, but we still couldn't believe who was coming up to bat. "High fly ball in to right field...SHE IS GONE!" I got chicken skin thinking about that moment. "In a year that has been so improbable, the impossible has happened." Vin Scully is definitely part of one of the best days of my life. I start to feel for Cubs fan #1 who hasn't been able to enjoy one of those moments.
Last day to to root the Cubbies on. In 24 hours, I will be a Braves fan. I opened the vote on Facebook and the Braves are the next team. I'm thinking about opening the vote to my 3 readers (who voted on Facebook anyway)in hopes to that maybe stumbles across my blog. My friend runs a .500 or better MLB weekly pool. I'm thinking about joining that and making my team whoever I pick that week. We'll see. Anyhow, Cubs fans, I love you like family, but when the clock strikes midnight and my carriage becomes the pumpkin and the slipper no longer fits, it's farewell to the Windy City. It's ironic that the word "win" shows up there...
Cubs wrap up the series in MIL. For the sake of me not being bad luck, I hope they win this one. For Cubs fan #1, I hope this is your year as it is no longer mine. I leave yo on this note...ATL Here I come!!!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Day 8 recap and Day 9 Early thoughts...
Day 8: Day 8 was a drag for me. I woke up ready to give up on being a Cubs fan. But I got my shit together and rallied up. I still couldn't get myself to buy a Cubs hat knowing it would be useless after Sunday. See, this is the longest tenure of the season since baseball started on a Thursday. 11 whole day of wondering if it was finally going to happen this year. 264 hours of having this random urge to hate goats. 15840 minutes of expecting the worst, and not just in baseball games. since encompassing my cubs fanship, I have been extremely negative. It reminds me of a scene Bernie Mac did on House Party 9 or whichever one it was. "That's a nice tie." "You can't say that. You can't say that. Wife tried to choke me with it." That's how I've been. I contemplated making an appointment with a shrink to see what the deal was. I am a happy person. What is wrong with me? Then, I realized. It's this team. You wait all winter for Spring. Then in the Spring you have this hope that this might be it. Then as soon as that first pitch is thrown out, you start to expect the worst. With two strikes, I just know this guy is gonna strike out. But, you can't give up the misery. You watch the last out while walking away from the TV, looking back in anger.
I'm going to stand by them for two more days, but after that I'm gone with the wind. My health can't take it. I bet the average lifespan for a Cubs fan is 8-10 years less than another winning team. I say winning team because teams like the Pirates and Marlins don't really have fans that care enough to let it affect their health, and it's not limited to just those two teams. Anyhow, I'm going to live these last two days true to my word. Cubbies 'til the end. It just so happens that the ending is drawing near.
Last night my Cubs won 7-4 against MIL. The Head Case threw an OK game. He seemed to be on double meds last night. Jeff Baker played out of his mind. I can't foresee that being a regular thing, or even a semi-common thing, but we needed someone to boost us and it was him. Soto hit a dinger which inches him closer to the 12 he will hit this year. Soriano got two hits and Ramirez went hitless. A win is a win is a win. We'll take it. Four wins and three losses, we'll take it. One game out of first. Tonight we're back at it. Garza is on the mound and I'm not too thrilled. We'll see what happens even though I'm not expecting a lot. It's become second nature. Maybe we'll win if Cubs fan #1 doesn't watch.
I'm going to stand by them for two more days, but after that I'm gone with the wind. My health can't take it. I bet the average lifespan for a Cubs fan is 8-10 years less than another winning team. I say winning team because teams like the Pirates and Marlins don't really have fans that care enough to let it affect their health, and it's not limited to just those two teams. Anyhow, I'm going to live these last two days true to my word. Cubbies 'til the end. It just so happens that the ending is drawing near.
Last night my Cubs won 7-4 against MIL. The Head Case threw an OK game. He seemed to be on double meds last night. Jeff Baker played out of his mind. I can't foresee that being a regular thing, or even a semi-common thing, but we needed someone to boost us and it was him. Soto hit a dinger which inches him closer to the 12 he will hit this year. Soriano got two hits and Ramirez went hitless. A win is a win is a win. We'll take it. Four wins and three losses, we'll take it. One game out of first. Tonight we're back at it. Garza is on the mound and I'm not too thrilled. We'll see what happens even though I'm not expecting a lot. It's become second nature. Maybe we'll win if Cubs fan #1 doesn't watch.
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