Day 35...Jinx

I'm starting to believe my jinx theory. See, every time I start to write about a team, things start to go as planned. Then, as soon as I get too confident, and start writing about the ass whoopings we will be dealing out, the tables turn. I should just keep my mouth shut, but truth is, I like to talk shit. If you know me at all, you know I will take every opportunity I can to talk shit. I don't care what the occasion is, I will say something if the situation allows. Sometimes, I take the NSFNG at work and nothing to say to him at all. So, I simply tell him to shut the fuck up. everyone laughs and we move on. Thus, if we're winning or beating you down, I will take the opp to tell you how bad it's gonna be and how much you suck ass. I won't be such an asshole to kick you when you're down (most of the time), but i will be right there to point and laugh when you fall, assuming you're ok.

So, that being said, even though we lost last night after a long rain delay. I am here to talk shit. The score is currently 11-0 and we're facing a two game skid. But, I'm going to talk shit. Now, I can accept defeat, and I will admit when we got our asses handed to us. Today is one of those days. So, I have to talk shit about something. Today, I choose to talk shit about two of the biggest assholes I have ever seen. And no, I am not talking about the McCourts. I am talking about Phil Mickelson and Ron Artest. These guys have nothing to do with the Red Sox, but they are on my list of current assholes who must win my respect.

We'll start with Lefty. I have never been a fan of Phil. I usually am a sucker for left handed golfers. They never had it easy. Golf courses just weren't designed for lefties at all. Then, technology took over and for a while there golf courses weren't designed for pros. now, they make the necessary changes so that length isn't everything. Anyhow, Phil, the lefty has never had it easy. what he does have is the looks, the game and the bag of tricks that is second to no other golfer. I'm not sure why I started hating Phil, or when I began to despise the guy. I just knew I did. then when Tiger's dominance started to take place it became a simple rivalry. USC-UCLA. Dodgers-Angels. Chevy-Ford. There was Tiger-Phil. My father said we were Tiger people. the line was drawn there. Then I had my brother who is the biggest Phil dick rider ever. i had to hear about how he was better than tiger, though another thing Phil never possessed was the World #1 ranking. A ranking Tiger held 623 weeks of his life. I will say this though. Phil could one day hold that ranking. I do not believe Tiger will ever hold that ranking again. Anyway, constantly hearing about him made things worse. Then there was the whole 2009 Players. I had recently acquired a 2007 Masters flag, a year in which Lefty won. It was for my brother and I was going home a few weeks later. So, I decided to sit out and wait for Phil to sign my flag. i didn't think it would be a big deal. He was a golfer. He wasn't "Tiger Woods" great, but a great golfer indeed. Boy, there was a huge amount of people waiting and I was in front. Me, Phillies fan #1 and Terp fan/player #1 were right there. Here he came. Sharpie in hand. He looks at the crowd and says i don't sign balls. Great, I had a flag, a Masters flag for a year he won. i was in. So, he starts to get closer and I genuinely get excited. I'm excited that my brother, Bud Light fan #1, was going to get a 2007 masters flag with Phil's ink on it. I was goin' apeshit. Here he comes. Two people away from me. Right next to me, on my left. Then without hesitation, he looks me in the eye, shoots me a quick half smile, reaches for the hat behind me and signs it. It was Terp fan/player #1's hat. I go to hand him my flag as it was now my turn and before I could even ask him, he is right next to me, except to my right side. Within 60 seconds, he is ten people away and fading. I can't even hear him joke with the crowd. But, he makes his way back towards us. He's here and I just know he forgot about my flag and was making his way back. He gets right in front of me. His DNA being breathed onto my flag, and he walks by me again. I look at Phillies fan #1 and he too got snubbed. Phil looks right at us and says "That's it everyone. I'm done." I had to hold back. I was pretty close to jumping the gate and shanking his ass with his fuckin' Sharpie. I couldn't fuckin' believe it. This guy that he was better than me. this left handed golfer thought he could diss me like that. I walked away and had some rough things to say about him. Fast forward 350 days. TPC 2010 was coming up and I had a game plan. I was going to order the same hat he wears with the pink ribbon on the side. I was going to ask him to sign it. I figured he would have to sign it. Maybe he thought we would just sell the Masters flags and passed on us. So, the hat was my plan B. I go to order the hat and get to the checkout window and fins that you have to be a fuckin' KPMG employee to order it. I immediately hate HIM again. So, we get to the tourney and we see him and he won't sign anyone that wasn't a hot chick or under the age of 12. This guy is larger than life on the tour. I'll admit I asked Stevie for an autograph, not even Tiger, and he declined as well. anyhow, this is the last year I will attempt to get a Phil autograph. I will go through many great lengths to get it this yr. I have plans C-Z this year. If I end up without a Phil auto, i will forever despise this motherfucker!

Ron Ron. Where do I start with this guy? I didn't hate him when he attacked the fan in Detroit. I didn't even dislike him when he was in HOU and gave us a run for our money. In fact, i couldn't wait to try and land him on the team. Then we get him last year and he has this great Twitter story about him finding a family in L.A. that he could hang out with. He saves us in OKC on Kobe's airball. He even drains some 3's to clinch the ring for us. then I hear the first thing I hated. He sold his championship ring. now, it was for a good cause, but c'mon man. Your championship ring. to me, that was a slap in the face of the Lakers' organization. Then the 2010-11 season happened. this guy just flat our drove me insane. He has that 'lame kid" syndrome that just gets it in his head that as soon as he gets the touch, he's puttin' it up. Alan Kordich syndrome. The only thing missing is his dad yelling "Pass it to Ron!" Anyhow, I think he cost us Game 1 against DAL. We're up 16 and he feels the need to start jackin' up shots from all over the court. That 16 point lead dwindled away as every miss turned into a basket for DAL and Dirk-a-Dirk. His stupid decisions are just becoming a bit much. His pimp slap of JJ Barea, landing him a 1 Game 3 suspension, was the last straw. Who knows, maybe we needed the spark. But, if things turn out the way I think they will. I will forever enshrine him as another asshole that must go.

Anyhow, I ranted and got the shit of my chest...I leave you with this. I found this song on World Star. It doesn't fit into what I wrote but this track is just fire to me...