Day 39...Untitled...

Unmotivated. That's the story today kids. BOS finished up the weekend 2-1 and 4-3 for the week. I thought I would be more jazzed up about it...Truth is, I'm almost over baseball until August. Like every year, baseball is exciting at first, then the NBA playoffs just take over your television whether you like it or not. My boys got swept by the Dallas Mavericks and you know what, I can't and won't say shit about it. They flat out played better ball than we did. Better shooting, better bench and Phil got out coached by Carlisle. HOLD UP A MINUTE. I'm going to go live and let you know how I really feel, right this very moment. About 30 seconds ago I received a fantasy baseball trade request. It is for my only rotisserie format league. It was also an auction league. I get a trade offer from this guy that ripped me for paying $10 for Jaime Garcia who he claims is a $2 pitcher. Of course, this fucker wants none other than Jaime Garcia along with Kyle Lohse. Both guys are pitching out of their minds right now and probably won't be able to keep up all year long. however, I think that St. Louis will win close to 100 games. So, after he asks why I rejected his offer I tell this guy that 1) I can't trade two of my starters, both from St. Louis for two OF (Jason Heyward and Jeff Francoeur) because I would have to pick up two SP on the waiver line and those run thin in a 12 team league and 2) FUCK YOU because you tried to talk shit about me paying $10 for Jaime Garcia. He replies that I don't know anything about baseball. He then adds that he has been watching baseball since "the day he was born" and could run off every stat known to man about any player since he was born in 1993. I obviously laughed and told him to go fuck himself. He replies "Give me a year and a player and I will give you their stats for the year." so, after I ROFLMAO I responded back and let him know of this invention that made him reading my insults possible called "the internet" and told him I could one up him and come up with anyones stats EVER for ANY year. But I gave him just one number. #616. I told him to look up that along with 1989 fleer and to read the end of the bat. After that, apply what the bat says to the end of my comments. I'm waiting for him to ask me why I'm asking him to add a "black box" to the end of every comment. for those of you that don't know, 1989 Fleer #616 is Billy Ripken. On the end of his bat, on the knob,it says "Fuck Face". Anyhow, guys like that get on my nerves. They make fantasy such a drag. You know, I don't like your trade. I don't want to accept it. Deal with it. Don't let me know that you know more about baseball than I do when you don't know what I know. Kids these days.

Anyway, since we're talking about baseball and since we're talking numbers. I figured I'd dip into the number of championships teams have won. An no one has won more than the Darkside. The Bronx Bombers, the Evil Empire...The motherfuckin Yankees are my team this week. I figured I would go Red Sox, Yankees then Mets...I hope I can keep up with the Yanks. I had pizza already so I'm already 1 for 1 with the food. Food possibilities are endless. I can be rude all week, drive like shit and complain about everything. New Yorkers are so negative. Even if you're not from there but move there. you become this black hole of complaints sucking the life out of those that pretend to listen to you. I can't wait to be that instead of being forced to listen to it. Yankees fan #1 does not fall under the stereotypes that I have pointed out above. all of these stereotypes are just my opinion, and though have been depicted in film for years and scientifically proven, do not fall under the category as fact.

I leave you on this note...Westcoast baby!

Day 35...Jinx

I'm starting to believe my jinx theory. See, every time I start to write about a team, things start to go as planned. Then, as soon as I get too confident, and start writing about the ass whoopings we will be dealing out, the tables turn. I should just keep my mouth shut, but truth is, I like to talk shit. If you know me at all, you know I will take every opportunity I can to talk shit. I don't care what the occasion is, I will say something if the situation allows. Sometimes, I take the NSFNG at work and nothing to say to him at all. So, I simply tell him to shut the fuck up. everyone laughs and we move on. Thus, if we're winning or beating you down, I will take the opp to tell you how bad it's gonna be and how much you suck ass. I won't be such an asshole to kick you when you're down (most of the time), but i will be right there to point and laugh when you fall, assuming you're ok.

So, that being said, even though we lost last night after a long rain delay. I am here to talk shit. The score is currently 11-0 and we're facing a two game skid. But, I'm going to talk shit. Now, I can accept defeat, and I will admit when we got our asses handed to us. Today is one of those days. So, I have to talk shit about something. Today, I choose to talk shit about two of the biggest assholes I have ever seen. And no, I am not talking about the McCourts. I am talking about Phil Mickelson and Ron Artest. These guys have nothing to do with the Red Sox, but they are on my list of current assholes who must win my respect.

We'll start with Lefty. I have never been a fan of Phil. I usually am a sucker for left handed golfers. They never had it easy. Golf courses just weren't designed for lefties at all. Then, technology took over and for a while there golf courses weren't designed for pros. now, they make the necessary changes so that length isn't everything. Anyhow, Phil, the lefty has never had it easy. what he does have is the looks, the game and the bag of tricks that is second to no other golfer. I'm not sure why I started hating Phil, or when I began to despise the guy. I just knew I did. then when Tiger's dominance started to take place it became a simple rivalry. USC-UCLA. Dodgers-Angels. Chevy-Ford. There was Tiger-Phil. My father said we were Tiger people. the line was drawn there. Then I had my brother who is the biggest Phil dick rider ever. i had to hear about how he was better than tiger, though another thing Phil never possessed was the World #1 ranking. A ranking Tiger held 623 weeks of his life. I will say this though. Phil could one day hold that ranking. I do not believe Tiger will ever hold that ranking again. Anyway, constantly hearing about him made things worse. Then there was the whole 2009 Players. I had recently acquired a 2007 Masters flag, a year in which Lefty won. It was for my brother and I was going home a few weeks later. So, I decided to sit out and wait for Phil to sign my flag. i didn't think it would be a big deal. He was a golfer. He wasn't "Tiger Woods" great, but a great golfer indeed. Boy, there was a huge amount of people waiting and I was in front. Me, Phillies fan #1 and Terp fan/player #1 were right there. Here he came. Sharpie in hand. He looks at the crowd and says i don't sign balls. Great, I had a flag, a Masters flag for a year he won. i was in. So, he starts to get closer and I genuinely get excited. I'm excited that my brother, Bud Light fan #1, was going to get a 2007 masters flag with Phil's ink on it. I was goin' apeshit. Here he comes. Two people away from me. Right next to me, on my left. Then without hesitation, he looks me in the eye, shoots me a quick half smile, reaches for the hat behind me and signs it. It was Terp fan/player #1's hat. I go to hand him my flag as it was now my turn and before I could even ask him, he is right next to me, except to my right side. Within 60 seconds, he is ten people away and fading. I can't even hear him joke with the crowd. But, he makes his way back towards us. He's here and I just know he forgot about my flag and was making his way back. He gets right in front of me. His DNA being breathed onto my flag, and he walks by me again. I look at Phillies fan #1 and he too got snubbed. Phil looks right at us and says "That's it everyone. I'm done." I had to hold back. I was pretty close to jumping the gate and shanking his ass with his fuckin' Sharpie. I couldn't fuckin' believe it. This guy that he was better than me. this left handed golfer thought he could diss me like that. I walked away and had some rough things to say about him. Fast forward 350 days. TPC 2010 was coming up and I had a game plan. I was going to order the same hat he wears with the pink ribbon on the side. I was going to ask him to sign it. I figured he would have to sign it. Maybe he thought we would just sell the Masters flags and passed on us. So, the hat was my plan B. I go to order the hat and get to the checkout window and fins that you have to be a fuckin' KPMG employee to order it. I immediately hate HIM again. So, we get to the tourney and we see him and he won't sign anyone that wasn't a hot chick or under the age of 12. This guy is larger than life on the tour. I'll admit I asked Stevie for an autograph, not even Tiger, and he declined as well. anyhow, this is the last year I will attempt to get a Phil autograph. I will go through many great lengths to get it this yr. I have plans C-Z this year. If I end up without a Phil auto, i will forever despise this motherfucker!

Ron Ron. Where do I start with this guy? I didn't hate him when he attacked the fan in Detroit. I didn't even dislike him when he was in HOU and gave us a run for our money. In fact, i couldn't wait to try and land him on the team. Then we get him last year and he has this great Twitter story about him finding a family in L.A. that he could hang out with. He saves us in OKC on Kobe's airball. He even drains some 3's to clinch the ring for us. then I hear the first thing I hated. He sold his championship ring. now, it was for a good cause, but c'mon man. Your championship ring. to me, that was a slap in the face of the Lakers' organization. Then the 2010-11 season happened. this guy just flat our drove me insane. He has that 'lame kid" syndrome that just gets it in his head that as soon as he gets the touch, he's puttin' it up. Alan Kordich syndrome. The only thing missing is his dad yelling "Pass it to Ron!" Anyhow, I think he cost us Game 1 against DAL. We're up 16 and he feels the need to start jackin' up shots from all over the court. That 16 point lead dwindled away as every miss turned into a basket for DAL and Dirk-a-Dirk. His stupid decisions are just becoming a bit much. His pimp slap of JJ Barea, landing him a 1 Game 3 suspension, was the last straw. Who knows, maybe we needed the spark. But, if things turn out the way I think they will. I will forever enshrine him as another asshole that must go.

Anyhow, I ranted and got the shit of my chest...I leave you with this. I found this song on World Star. It doesn't fit into what I wrote but this track is just fire to me...

Day 34..Quatro de Mayo...

So, I’ve been way too busy being a Bostonian to realize that I haven’t updated this blog. So, here I am. The Red Sox got lucky and drew the Angels as the first of two series this week. They have already swept them earlier this year in Anaheim. Anaheim happens to be in Orange County. So, why are they called the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? Well, it’s all marketing. How can you market the Orange County Angels? How would you sell the Anaheim Angels? Oh wait, they tried that and no one showed up. Why didn’t they stick with the California Angels? Why don’t they try the Disneyland Angels? They would instantly become little kids’ favorite team. They only thing selling out of Orange County are the Housewives. Anyhow, it’s no wonder we beat ‘em six times this year already.

As I just mentioned, we beat them four teams earlier this season in Anaheim. Tonight, we play game three of another four game set. We outscored them 20-5 in the first four games in Anaheim. Through these two at Fenway, we’ve outscored them 16-8. I expect the same thing tonight. We have Beckett going tonight who has been OK this year. He hasn’t got much run support and his ERA is 2.65 on the year. He’s 2 and 1 and will soon be 3 and 1. He’s pitching against Santana who has been less than stellar this year, and I look for us to not only win tonight, but wrap another 4 game sweep of the Halos.

My foodie-ship for Boston has gotten off to a slow start. I’ve been trying to watch my diet. I will definitely go have some chowder tomorrow before I head out to work. I got a comment from my only documented follower. One of the statements was that Manhattan chowder was better than New England’s version. Though I absolutely love New England’s version, I must agree with Toon. I definitely enjoy the Manhattn chowder when matched up against the New England chowder. I love red broth. What can I say? Anyhow, I thought about some lobster rolls which can be considered more of a New England thing. Anyhow, truth is, I must match my weight and I must watch my sugar. So, I will throw something in the diet to satisfy my Boston soul, but I can’t indulge as much as I’d like to.

It’s the bottom half og the second inning and there is still no score. I thought for sure it would be wide open already. Any second now, the score will be a lot to a little. Until then, I leave you on this note…

Day 31 - Strange Brew...

First of all, I am extremely excited that my run with Milwaukee is over. What a horrible team. Talented, but they just have a hard time winning ball games. They finished the week 2-4. They won 5-0 on Friday night behind more solo shots, but lost Saturday and Sunday. IF I would have played the pool, I sure wouldn’t have picked them. But if I did, I would have been out. I heard from a credible source that half of the field is out already. It really is a tough pool. My brother, Yankees fan #1 runs great pools. If you are interested, too bad. If I haven’t invited you already, I probably never will.

Anyhow, I went ahead and closed the voting out and my team is…WAIT FOR IT…WAIT FOR IT…the Boston Red Sox. I am extremely excited to cover them this week. I can’t wait to dive into Beantown. The food, the culture, the love for Tom Brady (had to throw that one in there), the attitude, the absolute hate for the Yankees (at least this week as things will change next week as they become my team) and lastly, the food. I know I said it twice, but I am excited about the food part. I have to take it easy because I am trying, or “trying”, to watch what I eat. Seafood galore. First thing is some chowder. I know just the spot for that here in Jacksonville. For some reason, I absolutely love the chowder from Singleton’s. Creamy, hearty and full of goodness.

There are some things about Boston I will not indulge in. First thing is the accent. I just can’t live with the accent. I had to stop watching The Town because the accent was a bit much. Second thing is the Celtics. I refuse to ever, and I mean EVER, cheer for those bastards. All you Boston fans, work with me here. You have to understand the hatred I possess for them. The thought of me rooting for them makes me sick. If that’s your team, more power to you because if so, you hate my team. The last thing I can’t do is the marathon. For obvious reasons such as nicotine addiction, my ongoing battle with obesity and the fact that the only time I run is when “out of breath” follows those words. I’m actually lying because I have been running a little bit at the gym, but it makes for a better satirical plotline.

So, stay tuned this week. I promise I will be more inspired. I will finish The Town, and I will stomach the accent along with a few bowls of chowder. I will try and run 10% of the marathon collectively during the week. Hell, I might even cheer for the Celtics as long as the line permits me to do so. I’m thinking of taking advantage of the gift us degenerates will get with the price being just right to fire on ‘em in Game 3 against Miami next Saturday. The NBA threw them a bone giving them a full three days off before heading home to host the Heat in Game 3. All I know is, I am fucking excited. Go Patriots! And Let’s go Red Sox…

I leave you with this…