Day 29 - Brew(ers) Ha Ha!!!

So, my Brewers are 1-2 this week. I last left you on Monday not so excited about the Brew Crew as my team this week. Let me tell you, NOTHING HAS CHANGED. They are so uninspiring. Milwaukee just doesn’t seem like an exciting place to live. I roamed the web and the forums and the blogs and every possible nook and cranny that the interwebs has to offer, but nothing came up revealing how great a place Milwaukee is. On a couple sites that offered lists on what to do when in Milwaukee, they mentioned a Brewers game as a thing to do. I mean, a fuckin’ Brewers game is some of the best you have to offer Milwaukee? When I queried great people of Milwaukee, Laverne and Shirley came up in the top 5. That’s what the rest of the US of A thinks, but your own people think that? Sad…So sad…

Anyhow, as uninspired as I am, the show must go on. My boys lost on Monday to CIN, as you already know. On Tuesday they won on three solo homers. Wednesday ended with a 6-7 loss in the 10th. Now, I will say one thing about the Brewers. They have some sticks on the team. Braun leads the majors with 9 dingers this season. Prince “I (h)ate my daddy” Fielder has 23 RBI, which ranks second in the majors and first in the NL. Rickie Weeks is a solid player at second base. I would say “scrappy”, but the show The League mandates that the term “scrappy” is reserved for white players. So, we’ll go with “solid”. Team AVG is second in the majors behind STL. The pitching staff is middle of the road, with Gallardo as our ace. Those last four words say it all. He’s simply an average pitcher with flashes of brilliance too few and far between. But, that is my team until Monday. It’s not too late to vote for my next team. BOS is leading the way. Voting is here: Vote for Kui's team .

Tonight, we travel to HOU for a three game set. YAY!!! I’m not cheering. I’m demanding some YAY in order to stay awake during this snoozer of a game. I can’t wait ‘til Monday. I hope inspiration comes via email, mail or a sign from God because being a Brewer fan sucks. I’m leaning towards secret fist pumps for the Cubs simply because misery is part of becoming the Cubs fan. It’s just miserable to be a Brewers fan. So, I can’t wait for Monday. I leave you with this…

Day 25 - Detroit WINNING...Next Stop: MILWAUKEE!

So, Detroit had the second best record of the week going 5-1. They were second only to BOS who went 6-1 from Monday to Sunday. It’s too bad I cheaped out on the .500 or better pool. I would still be alive. We obviously swept the “Can’t Win Shits”. We looked really good. Actually, THEY looked good as I have moved on. All of a sudden I realized I DID have a job. I did not have the urge to go and rob somebody all in the name of feeding my family. It feels good to know that I am a productive part of society. It feels good to know that my state has two good football teams in the Pack and the Badgers. I’m a fuckin’ Milwaukee Brewers fan now and I love beer. I didn’t need to be a Brewers fan to love beer, but now I really love beer. I love cheese. I fuckin’ love Laverne De Fazio and Shirley Feeney. I love saying YELLING “Schlemiel. Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!” I’m in Milwaukee bitch (somehow that just doesn’t sound catchy enough for LMFAO to make a remix especially for this town).
Anyway, my Brewers are catching a beat down right now. It’s 7-1 and it looks like we might drop to 11-11. 0-1 on the week and fading fast. I’m not sure who did what, but by the 1 in the run column, I would guess that nobody did. I’m afraid to even look at the box score. I can’t say I’m very inspired to write about them, but maybe, just maybe, they might do something this week. I just figured that I would roll with them since they were tied with the Tigers after the voting last week. So, I’m stuck. But, make no mistake about it. I will root my ass off. Just because I don’t blog about it, doesn’t mean that I won’t stick to my guns. Though it’s only been a few weeks, I have made it this far. Next week is up in the air as far as what team I’m rooting for, but let’s hope I make it through this week unscathed. I will open up voting and pick one of the big market teams. Voting is here: Vote for Kui's team . If the link doesn't worm, make it work like Craig's cereal.

anyhow, my boys made it look less blowout-ish. Final was 9-5. 0-1 and we're rolling downhill because that's how shit rolls. Milwaukee stand the fuck up. Let's get it. I leave on this note...

April 23rd - Day 23....Slackin' and WINNING!!!

I've been slackin a little bit, and my Tigers, well, they've been winning, not just winning, but WINNING! Charlie fucking Sheen winning. I left you on Wednesday waiting for the tigers to win the rubber match against the Starbuckiners. They won that game 3-2. Porcello pitched a beautiful game. Valverde picked up his 4th save and seems to be pitching pretty decent. He must have been jacked up on coffee. I mean, it must be in the water up there. they've been playing like they've been sniffing the damn beans.

They were off Thursday, and so was I. I kind of been getting into the NBA playoffs. My boys have been playing decent. They're up 2-1 on NOH right now, but we'll get into that later. right now, it's about the Tigers.

Friday was a convincing win 9-3. We came home to play against the White Sox, the other Chicago team. Though not as miserable, they're just not as popular. they do have some of the sweetest old school jerseys the game has ever seen. I like unusual shit when it comes to clothes, and those SOX jerseys were off the hook. That font was ridiculous. There should be a SOX font. Anyhow, those jerseys are about the only thing good about that team. Oh, I can't forget Ozzie. He has got to be the best press conference happy manager in all of baseball. But, enough praise about those bums from Comiskey. These guys are horrible. though we aren't the best team, these guys just flat out stink. "Stink on shit" stink. They're five games below .500. They don't play in the Eastern Conference of the NBA, so that ain't good. It's certainly not playoff worthy. Our bats ain't known to light up the scoreboard, but 9 runs on Friday, and then 9 runs on Saturday has me starting to believe.

As I just mentioned, we just beat the shit out of the CWS 9-0 tonight. Raburn had 7 RBI's in the last two games. We're 7-3 in the last 10, going 4-1 this week alone with one more to go. I might as well say 5-1 this week because we WILL complete the sweep tomorrow. I mean, the CWS, which also stands for CAN'T WIN SHIT, just, well, CAN'T WIN SHIT! I hope somebody picked them in the >500 or better pool ,which I just couldn't afford to play. Unfortunately, there is not a lay-away plan for these pools.

Ok, on to playoffs and football. Not American football, but FOOTBALL. First, the NHL playoffs are going on right now. I got one thing to say about that and that is: The NHL playoffs are going on right now. NEXT! Not "We Got Next" like the WNBA, that's up in May. I can't wait as they kick off in Manchester, England (sarcasm inserted here). On that note, my boys, Manchester United, are atop the English Premier League standings. We start the Semi-finals of UEFA Champions League on Tuesday. this could be our year. We're playing extremely well right now. Actually, we're playing extremely healthy right now, which is everything in football. If you stay healthy, you have a chance. I won't bore you much more with football talk. American's love for football stops at soccer moms.

NBA Playoffs. This is worthy of it's own paragraph or paragraphs for that matter. This year has been good. Some of the match ups are actually good. SOME of them. BOS-NYK was supposed to be good, but NYK just flat out doesn't have what it takes to compete with BOS. they miss too many shots. They play about zero defense. If you're not going to play defense, you have to score 95+ to win a series. Amare is a beast, and so is Melo. But, Amare doesn't play enough defense to stop anyone in the paint. Add a guard like Rondo running through that paint, and it spells trouble. BOS wraps up the sweep next game.

There are other matchups that bore me. MEM-SA is boring. SA looks old and run down because they're old and run down. MEM can definitely win this series. they have too much youth. Each game SA looks more tired and MEM can go up 3-1 with another win at home. Look for SA to fade and MEM to win in 6.

Another boring matchup is ATL-ORL. This is supposed to be ORL's series but ATL looks far better than ORL does. The Hawks look like they want to win. ORL is playing like they expect to win. Not in the NBA. Not because it's so competitive, but as long as those ref's are out there, nothing can be expected. They're job is not to ref games. No, not that at all. They're jobs are to control the game so that teams have a chance to keep it close. Long gone are the days of letting guys play. A foul in the first quarter is not longer a foul in the fourth. These guys make sure it's close so that people will watch. I won't get into too much about the conspiracy of it all, which is ALL OPINION BTW, but I will voice it.

DAL-POR is an upset waiting to happen. POR is just a better defensive team than Dallas is. Roy's robotic knees are starting to take shape. Batum is a bad motherfucker too. He has the wallet to prove it I'm sure. Aldridge and Miller are soild guys and this team will beat DAL in 7. You can't count DAL out as long as the second ugliest guy in the NBA is playing. that would be Dirk-a-Dirk, who is second to Turkoglu. My friend once said (and I do not in any way support this comment) "Turkoglu looks like god was going to make him retarded, but changed his mind half way through it." That's all I'm gonna say about it. anyhow, I think POR wins and loses next round.

MIA rolls. CHI rolls too. OKC will beat DEN easily as well. Which leaves my Lakers. boy, they are playing a little bit uninspired. I think they will beat NOH but I'm not sure they can hang with an OKC team as young as they are. We're up 2-1, but we look flat. Game 3 was a solid win. It's pretty simple. If we shut down Paul, or even SLOW DOWN Paul, we win. If we let him hit his jumpers, he gains confidence. After that, we're chasing that little fucker around and other guys make plays. We must tighten up. We must play like the Championship runs through L.A. because it does. If I had to pick a team to win the title, right this second it would be MIA. they are playing the kind of game that refs can't control. Fast break, knock down basket ball. If the current Laker team faced off against the currrent Heat team, we would be in trouble.

Anyhow, I have not forgotten that today, now Sunday, is Easter. Without Him, none of this would be possible. Not Playoffs, not blogging, not breathing. I will not get all preacher on you. I just want to say that I remember. So, excuse any foul language as it is just part of who I am. And I'm not talking to the readers because I could care less how you feel about me. If you read through all that bullshit above, you love it. I leave you on this note. But first, the reason I leave you on this note is because Yankees fan #1, also Jets fan #1, asked when I will be switching to the Darkside for a week. Anyhow, Yankees fan #1 is a Dead Head. So, this...

Day 20 - the process has begun...

So, apparently Asshole #1 was forced to borrow $30,000,000.00 from FOX to make payroll. That is the kind of bullshit that pisses me off. Apparently, Bud Selig had enough too.

Selig's complete statement:

"Pursuant to my authority as Commissioner, I informed Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt today that I will appoint a representative to oversee all aspects of the business and the day-to-day operations of the Club. I have taken this action because of my deep concerns regarding the finances and operations of the Dodgers and to protect the best interests of the Club, its great fans and all of Major League Baseball. My office will continue its thorough investigation into the operations and finances of the Dodgers and related entities during the period of Mr. McCourt's ownership. I will announce the name of my representative in the next several days. The Dodgers have been one of the most prestigious franchises in all of sports, and we owe it to their legion of loyal fans to ensure that this club is being operated properly now and will be guided appropriately in the future."

GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE FRANK!

I will leave on this note. This song makes me want to slap some Asada on th grill and toss a few back...

Day 20 - It's 420. Do you know where your children are?

So, I knew that last night was going to be rough after I basically celebrated too early. But, I figured it was Seattle and we would run right through them. Looks like I was wrong. We got our asses handed to us. That was a good, old fashioned ass whooping. They looked terrible, or so I heard. It was so fuckin' late, I didn't have a chance to watch it. I happened to end up on MLB.com at about 130a and found that the score was a shit ton to very little. I was genuinely pissed off. I mean, how did we lose to this awful club? I'm going to write the team and let them know that there are plenty of players that are willing to give 110% for league minimum all throughout the country. There must be 575 minor league teams. See, I know a guy right. well, I don't know the guy, but I "know' the guy ya know. If you have no idea what I mean, then most of this blog must be puzzling to you.

Anyway, there's this guy. He is affiliated with a minor league team in the state of Nevada. He also does shit for a developmental hoops team, but that's beside the point. I'm sure he could send me some standard def video on some up and coming ball players (or down and out guys like jobbers in pro wrestling) straight to my Youtube app on my Droid. So, though Michigan has it rough right now, I'm sure they have a pc capable of pulling up some scouting video and pick someone up. And really quick on the topic of picking up. How many Big Macs has Miguel Cabrera picked up lately? He supposedly put down the bottle, but if he did, he just picked up something a lot heavier. I remember wen he was in Florida, he looked like he was 14. Now that I think about it, he probably was, but now, he looks like he ate 14 babies. He is huge. He reminds of Prince Fielder. Not the Prince of Milwaukee, but the REAL Prince Fielder. King Prince Fielder. He was pushing about 295 and if he got any kind of bat on the ball, it was gone. Then there was Gibby. What a beast he was. You all know what a special place he holds in my heart. Trammell, Parrish, Whitaker, Morris and the rest of the 1984 World Series winning team. Then there were the two most famous face ever to don a Tigers cap. I'm not talkin' Sparky. I'm not talking Ty "I will spike you ankles" Cobb. I'm talking about Darrin "Doughboy" Baker and Thomas Magnum.

Doughboy was played by none other than O'Shea Jackson aka Ice Cube in Boyz n the Hood. That movie was one of the most culturally relevant, well "culturally significant", films o the modern era. That movie let the rest of the world know what was really going on in the late 80's and early 90's in Los Skanless. Shit was poppin' off. I come from a more predominantly Sureno neighborhood, but make no mistake about it. Shit was just like the movie. The modern day Wild Wild West. People died everyday from gang violence. Fights, gunshots, stabbings. The list goes on and on. Anyway, Doughboy was a fuckin' G. He was L.A. He was a typical boy in the hood. "Y'all wanna see a dead body?" That's my favorite part of the movie.

And then there was Thomas Magnum. Though he wasn't my favorite character a TC stole the show from him, Magnum was a different kind of gangster. He was a P.I., hence the name Magnum P.I., and he solved everything. He rode around in a Ferarri, rocked aloha shirts nd bermuda shorts with a 4" inseam, and wore no socks with his tennis shoes. That all equated to sleeping with every victim on the show. A lady rolls up, can't figure out what happened to her jade ring that her uncle found in Malaysia and is 100 years old. He would somehow, find the ring, catch the badguy, and wake up with the chick right before the credits rolled. Let's just hope he got his payment first. If not, the show is all for nothing and should be re-titled Magnum P.I. - Sucker Incorporated. Anyway, he was the 'stache of the 80's. I wonder how much cocaine was trapped in that thing. No matter what anyone says, Magnum was the Tigers un-official poster boy.



My boys better win tonight. I'll take 2 out of 3. Who wouldn't? It's a series win. rubber match tonight though we plan on wearing no rubber when we give it to those bitches tonight. Raw Dog. Hopefully I can find a good stream to watch it. I leave you with this song that got me through the 12.5 incline on the treadmill today...Happy 4/20 everyone...

Day 19 - Detroit Day 2

Apparently, I got my days mixed up. the count was a little off. I figured I could correct them, but who the hell cares. I'm not even sure anyone reads this. But, rest assured I got my days in order now. I didn't even have to go back and count. I started on April 1st. So, since today's the 19th, this is my, well, 19th day. Easy. Speaking of easy, my boys got an easy win last night. 8-3, no issues. We had one big inning and that's all you need against a sub-par team. I almost rushed down 95 South to head to the 24 hour Starbucks of CR 210 just to toast the the Mariners again. I would even go all out and get a White Chocolate Peppermint Cinnamon Stick with extra sugar in the tank.

On that subject, what is the obsession with Starbucks? I mean, I get the coffee addiction. I knew some people that were horrible when they didn't have their coffee. I mean, it was like two different people. They would glare at you at 7:55a on the way to their office, not say a word, go get their coffee, then come and ask how your day is. GTFOH! I don't care how your artificial day is because your real day, before the coffee, SUCKS! Anyhow, I get it. Coffee, some people need it. It's no different than cocaine or heroin. what I mean to say is the addiction isn't. I know some of you, if any, are shaking your head and acting like I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but think about it. The only reason why people aren't selling mom's wedding ring is because it's legal and available EVERYWHERE. You can go to Bubba's Bait shop and get meal worms, a dried gator foot back scratcher, and coffee. You can go to Winn Dixie, and not buy anything, and get free coffee (which can be clutch...I've heard). But, if you don' get it, you need it! You crave it. Then, you become this monster like in Lord of the Rings. Coffee consumes you! You do not consume it. It is just a legal drug and Starbucks is the Blue Magic of it all. There are other high end brands, but Starbucks rules all. People fuckin' line up and are willing to be 20 minutes late for work for Starbucks. There are places where there are two Starbucks in the same plaza in my hometown. At the beaches here, there were two across the street from each other. It's like crack dealers in the lows. All selling the same product and people lined up. I hear that in Seattle there are instances where there are more than 3 on the same block. It's madness.

Anyway, the whole point of the story was fuck Seattle and their Mariners. I like the city I guess. I have some family members up there. I like the throwing of the fish. I liked their whole grunge movement in the early 90's. I liked that Ice Cube said "the Lakers beat the Supersonics". But right now, right this very second, the Mariners are the enemy. Ain't no pitcher safe in Safeco. Ichiro you are the #1 asshole today (in Seattle, the #1 and #2 assholes are still the McCourts). See, my Tigers are there to win 3 straight. We're 33.33% there and tonight will be no different. Tonight we achieve....DRUMROLL....66.67%. FACT!

I leave you on this note...

Last weekend as the Braves fan...Next stop...DETROIT!!!

Being a Braves fan was not so exciting. To tell you the truth, and I'm sure you could tell, I was not inspired to write anything about them. They were so dry. I was afraid to smoke thinking that my fan-ship would go up in a wild brush fire. they managed to win both legs of the double header on Saturday and secure at least .500 for the week. So, that was a win in itself. They dropped the game Sunday but at that point, my fan-ship was over. I achieved the goal of being a "non-jinx".

I was excited to see that my poll question on Facebook gave me an option. There was a tie between the Tigers and the Brewers. The Brewers seemed like the obvious choice allowing me to consume large amounts of beer all in the name of rooting for my team. But then I thought, it would be so much easier being a fan that has a 75% chance of being unemployed. I have an even bigger chance to commit crimes. Hell I could even get away with being a HUUUUGE asshole (though not as big as the McCourts) like the guy from Hardcore Pawn. So, the Tigers it is.

I woke up this morning and felt as if my unemployment check was coming today. I was anxious. I was peeking out of my window waiting for the post lady to come and drop it in my mail box. I had my 9mm in my hand, Obie Trice was blasting through my cheap speakers via Winamp, and I was planning my "I aint got no job" day. Then, like my daddy caught me slippin, reality slapped me across my face and I realized I was living in my own beautiful dark twisted fantasy. I had to go to work in a little bit. I searched for my Detroit Tigers hat but found "Game of Thrones" on my DVR instead.

I have some time to kill as my boys don't play until 10:10 EST as they are in Seattle. Scherzer pitches tonight. so, we should be able to get the W tonight. The mariners aren't that impressive. We actually dodged a bullet by ducking Hernandez. King Felix is a beast. his numbers this year don't show it, but by the time he is a Yankee, he will be much more inspired. Anyhow, we managed to face three probable starters with a combined record of 0-7 and a 5.51 ERA. We'll see if we can generate some runs. Our probable aren't much better with a cmbined record 3-4 and an ERA that I didn't care to calculate but it was much better than 5.51. I don't need to know the ERA of our team, because we're gonna kick the shit out of the Mariners anyway. I may have a Starbucks to pay homage to the Seattle based team that may be bailing to Oklahoma City seeing how much fortune it brought the Sonics. That's what I would do anyway. Long gone are the days where Bret Boone anabolically hit 120 HR's and 448 RBI's over four seasons. Ichiro has lost his magic. He still hits for AVG, but AVG doesn't pack stadiums. I'd rather see a guy hit .260 with 200 K's but belt 40 HR's. I don't care if a guy can slap his way to first base. OK OK, I won't bash the Mariners anymore. the fact they play in Seattle is insult enough. I raise my Java Chip Frappucino and toast to you. Thanks for three more wins fuckers!

Day 16...Oh, the agony!

So, this Braves thing isn't going as planned. After we almost got no-hit, we dropped another to the Marlins. Our only highlight was McCann's homer in the first inning. It was really our only strong inning. I'm starting to wonder if I am the bad luck. I'm starting to hope that I didn't bring the misery with me from Wrigley. I mean 1-2 already. Two losses to the Marlins. hey are 8-5 but they are still the Marlins. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Maybe next week I'll cheer for the Yankees. They seem to know how to win. But, the Yankees would be a tough pill to swallow. Not as tough as the Angels or Giants, but tough nonetheless.

I'm struggling for real here. I have no hope that the Braves are going to win 2 out of 3 to salvage a .500 week. they have a double header today since last night's game was postponed. This is starting to feel like I'm still rooting for the Dodgers, who, by the way, are 6-8. Which really shocks me. I would've figured they would be 4-10 by now. I saw that my brother went to the Dodger game the other day. Last season I would have been jealous, but this year, I was more pissed that the McCourt's suckered my own family into shoving money into their pockets. but, what can you do? As long as their the owners, they will sucker their fans into funding their McDivorceCourt.

I'm starting to feel as if I should give up on baseball, but I refuse. I refuse to let these assholes win. I will not allow these two assholes to run me out of the game that I love so much. I hope that people stand up to these clowns and tell them that enough is enough. I will be drafting a letter next week to the Dodgers organization, specifically the two assholes that are holding the team hostage.

Off track a little bit. I went to a place called the Secret Garden Cafe. My girlfriend has been itching to go there for quite some time. After a recommendation from my manager, we decided to finally go and boy was it amazing. I got the Alabama Meatloaf sandwich which is served on top of a piece of homemade bread. My girlfriend got the Monte Cristo and it was simply ridiculous. the AM sandwich had meatloaf, BBQ sauce, cheese and coleslaw. Her sandwich was a traditional Monte Cristo with turkey, ham, preserves and fried in butter. I was amazed at how good it really was. someone came in as we were finishing up and said they came all the way from Atlanta because they saw this place on TV. Apparently, Chef Robert Irvine featured it on some show and he also designed the interior of the restaurant. Anyhow here's the food and of course, my song of the day...

Day 12...Home of the Brave(s)

So, Day 2 as a Braves fan kind of went how I expected it to. I mean, I expect to win. No matter who my team is, I expect to win. That's the bottom line because Stone Cold...OK...I'll try and layoff the WWE. But, let me say this, now that the Rock, Stone Cold and Triple H are in full effect, I will watch Wrasslin' again. Anyhow, I can't promise there will be no more WWE references, but I will try my hardest.

So, Day 1 of being a Braves fan was easy as they had the day off. No big deal. I could use another day to wash off the misery of being a Cubs fan. So, I decided to use day 1 to refresh my memory on the team and boy was I surprised. First, I had no idea that our coach wasn't Bobby Cox. I thought for sure they would just prop him up in the dugout and use strings to make his arms make motions like he was into the game (a la Bobby Bowden, Joe Pa, Zimmer or Sparky). But Gonzalez? I looked him up and found two things about him. He used to coach the Marlins and he looks like a fat Mark Grace. Then , I was shocked to find that we don't play in Fulton County Stadium anymore. The surprises kept coming. No Glavine or Smoltz? Dale Murphy isn't in the OF. I mean I figured since Chipper was still there, those guys would be. But no, just Chipper and this beast of a player named Jason Heyward. According to Braves fan #1, he is a beast. I mean, last season he hit 18 HR and 72 RBI *yawn*. If you can't tell already I'm not overly impressed with Heyward, but this week, I think he is the fuckin' man.

Like I mentioned above, Day 2 was awesome. I actually got to watch my boys shut out the fish. Heyward hit a dinger, the fuckin' man-beast that he is. It was his third of the season. Hanson, who I truly believe is a beast, proved me right allowing 4 hits in seven innings. all in all, we looked good.

Day 3 started off optimistically. I got up early without this feeling of "is the season over"-ness. Then, I went and had a 5 egg omelette at Colonel Mustard's.


It's called Mustard's Mess and there's ham, sausage, bacon, mushrooms, onions, peppers and cheese. It was excellent and it was dirt cheap. $5.95 for that omelette with toast and potatoes. Pure goodness.


Anyway, I got home and watched Jonah Hex, which was a bad ass fuckin' movie. I also watched Cop Out which was just OK. I've never been a huge fan of Tracy Morgan, but he was the funniest one in the movie. After that was done, I took off for work. I was excited. We were going to sweep the fish, then the Mets this weekend. I log in to mlb.com and see that Johnson has a no-no going. I love no-hitters, but not when it's my team getting zero hits. Freddie Freeman broke up the no-no in the 8th. chipper breaks the shutout with a solo shot in the 9th. One win, one loss. Huge game for ME, not so huge for the Bravos. I will not go under 500 this week. We will not do it!

I want to become the real deal Braves fan. What is their staple food at the stadium? What do people in ATL do besides get their local Denny's noticed on World Star Hip Hop? The only thing I know about ATL is that I have to drink beer at the airport there to enjoy a cigarette. Help me out people...Leave you on this note just because this song is fuckin' sweet...

Day 10 - And then there was one...

Last night was a brutal night for the Cubbies. I returned to the scene of the crime. I went back and had a Chicago pizza while the game started. Again, that feeling has been haunting me all week comes back around. I'm literally nervous. Real life nervous. Then the bottom half of the 1st inning finishes, finally. We're down 2-0. I've lost hope. One inning in and there was absolutely no chance of winning. I didn't even watch another pitch. Later that night I saw the we lost. 6-0 was the final score and I wasn't surprised. The only surprise was that it wasn't 18-0.

This is rough. I still don't understand how Cubs fans do this. I mean, let's say Cubs fan #1 is 30 years old give or take a couple of years. If he's been a Cubs fan since he was 5, that means he has suffered through 25 years of not enjoying a World Series celebration. I was 9 when the dodgers won. I remember it like it was yesterday. In fact, Game 1, Kirk Gibson's pinch hit home run was the ONLY day i ever saw my parents' kiss each other. I get teary eyed every time I see that. "And look who's coming up." When I heard those words we all knew, but we still couldn't believe who was coming up to bat. "High fly ball in to right field...SHE IS GONE!" I got chicken skin thinking about that moment. "In a year that has been so improbable, the impossible has happened." Vin Scully is definitely part of one of the best days of my life. I start to feel for Cubs fan #1 who hasn't been able to enjoy one of those moments.

Last day to to root the Cubbies on. In 24 hours, I will be a Braves fan. I opened the vote on Facebook and the Braves are the next team. I'm thinking about opening the vote to my 3 readers (who voted on Facebook anyway)in hopes to that maybe stumbles across my blog. My friend runs a .500 or better MLB weekly pool. I'm thinking about joining that and making my team whoever I pick that week. We'll see. Anyhow, Cubs fans, I love you like family, but when the clock strikes midnight and my carriage becomes the pumpkin and the slipper no longer fits, it's farewell to the Windy City. It's ironic that the word "win" shows up there...

Cubs wrap up the series in MIL. For the sake of me not being bad luck, I hope they win this one. For Cubs fan #1, I hope this is your year as it is no longer mine. I leave yo on this note...ATL Here I come!!!

Day 8 recap and Day 9 Early thoughts...

Day 8: Day 8 was a drag for me. I woke up ready to give up on being a Cubs fan. But I got my shit together and rallied up. I still couldn't get myself to buy a Cubs hat knowing it would be useless after Sunday. See, this is the longest tenure of the season since baseball started on a Thursday. 11 whole day of wondering if it was finally going to happen this year. 264 hours of having this random urge to hate goats. 15840 minutes of expecting the worst, and not just in baseball games. since encompassing my cubs fanship, I have been extremely negative. It reminds me of a scene Bernie Mac did on House Party 9 or whichever one it was. "That's a nice tie." "You can't say that. You can't say that. Wife tried to choke me with it." That's how I've been. I contemplated making an appointment with a shrink to see what the deal was. I am a happy person. What is wrong with me? Then, I realized. It's this team. You wait all winter for Spring. Then in the Spring you have this hope that this might be it. Then as soon as that first pitch is thrown out, you start to expect the worst. With two strikes, I just know this guy is gonna strike out. But, you can't give up the misery. You watch the last out while walking away from the TV, looking back in anger.

I'm going to stand by them for two more days, but after that I'm gone with the wind. My health can't take it. I bet the average lifespan for a Cubs fan is 8-10 years less than another winning team. I say winning team because teams like the Pirates and Marlins don't really have fans that care enough to let it affect their health, and it's not limited to just those two teams. Anyhow, I'm going to live these last two days true to my word. Cubbies 'til the end. It just so happens that the ending is drawing near.

Last night my Cubs won 7-4 against MIL. The Head Case threw an OK game. He seemed to be on double meds last night. Jeff Baker played out of his mind. I can't foresee that being a regular thing, or even a semi-common thing, but we needed someone to boost us and it was him. Soto hit a dinger which inches him closer to the 12 he will hit this year. Soriano got two hits and Ramirez went hitless. A win is a win is a win. We'll take it. Four wins and three losses, we'll take it. One game out of first. Tonight we're back at it. Garza is on the mound and I'm not too thrilled. We'll see what happens even though I'm not expecting a lot. It's become second nature. Maybe we'll win if Cubs fan #1 doesn't watch.

Days 5-7 - Hand down, MAN DOWN!

Day 5 as a Cubs fan started off a little bit different. See, I did not care if they won that day. I was up early and I was on my way to Orlando for a mini NBA trip with two of my friends. Because of work, I was able to request some tix for a Magic game that night, and a Miami Heat the next night. We had to travel in some terrible weather. Charles Barkley TURRIBLE weather. We eventually made it and went to my favorite store, the House of Hoops. Much to my surprise, I was able to keep the wallet in my back pocket, even though we went in there on two separate occasions. I really battled with myself, even though either way, I would've won.

After that we checked into our hotel. My boy was able to get a good rate on a nice hotel room. We hung out, got ready and left for Amway Arena. We were able to park fairly close and it only took a few minutes to make it to the media gate. No line and a friendly face. Just the way I like it.

We got in to the game, drank a couple beers and made our way to our seats. I swear, I died and Elijah's chariot came down to take me to my seat. Not because they were so heavenly, but because he dropped me off on his way back to heaven. Trust me, it wasn't out of his way. I had flashbacks of my ant farm when I was little. I literally got the fear of heights butterflies when I looked down. We sat there for about ten minutes and decided it was time to go back to the Baseline Bar. The 4th quarter just started and they told me they stopped serving alcohol. BUZZ KILL! (see later, as like Jesus on the third day, my buzz rose again). I then decided it was time to go down to someone else's seats. We flaunt the passes and they let us go down towards the court. We find a whole row open. We sit there for most of the fourth quarter. Magic win...

After the horn sounds, me make our way to the scorer's table at center court to thank our man that hooked up the tix. I turn around and see Dwight Howard on the court and Hedo Turkgolu sittin' with a towel around his head. I then turn and look at my friends and they are in absolute amazement. see, these two guys are huge basketball fans, and they look like me the first time I went to House of Hoops. We sit there for a little bit then we get to take a pic at center court. We then each got a shot at the hoop. I clanked it. The other two, well, let's just say that they drained that shit. All good stories should have happy endings and this one is no different. Shit, even the Cubs won. Apparently, they won 6-5, much to my surprise. I'm starting to feel like Cubs fan #1. If I don't watch, they win...

We get back to the hotel and I get faded. We'll end that night on this note...

Day 6 - What a night we had. I woke up to the front desk giving us our wake up call. Slightly hungover, I get ready and it's off for a four hour drive to Miami. South Beach bitches. We make it after what seemed like a LONG drive. Get to the Doubletree downtown and this bitch is plush. Room was great, view was beautiful and the stories from the prior night ice the cake. Hopefully, Miami can show us similar love, but we're not expecting any of it. We all agree that it couldn't get better than the night before.

We have some time to kill and we head to Ocean Drive to walk around. Beautiful day, great people, couldn't ask for more. We even went to the gelato place where the Jersey Shore worked while they filmed in Miami. I got the pistachio...WOW! Sent pics to mu girl who FWD them to daughter #2. Both were extremely jealous. anyhow, it's almost game time. We get to the arena and hea to meet our next contact. He comes out and flashes his '06 Championship ring to the boys and that quickly puts a smile on their faces. We get inside, and we have a fourth with us. He joined us fo th night. Seats were ok. But hell, we get to see the king. Though I AM NOT A HEAT FAN, I like to watch Lebron play. Having a good time. Heat are losing, but it's all good. Then it happens. The worst day of the year so far.

Let me break this one down. I'm in South Beach so naturally I'm wearing my Lebron South Beach's. I'm walking to have a cigarette at halftime and this old bat of a woman is next to me. She decides she is going to stop walking forward and start walking sideways. Not like a drunk sideways, but like you're enjoying your first slow dance at the junior high Halloween dance. Just straight sideways. Of course her 3/4" heel (why the fuck she is at the Heat game is still a mystery, but why she was wearing 3/4" heels is even harder to fathom) lands right on the toe box of my South Beach's. I give her a glare and if looks could kill, I would've placed her other foot inside of that coffin. She looks at me like the colored boy that I am. I look down and disaster. Black mark, not coming off with spit. I'm devastated. Later that night I get to the hotel, grab a wet napkin and rub, and paint comes off. I immediately Googled Voodoo death curse and cast a spell. She deserved it. Heat lost, but that didn't matter to me. My night was already ruined. We went out to the Hard Rock later, we lost. Cubs lost. South Beach's, they lose the biggest. So sad. Like the day Gunner left us, I leave you on this note...



Day 7 - Lots of roads and lots of music...THE END...

EDIT - Day 7 was not just a lot of driving. I got home after a long day on the road. BTW, props to my boys J-Hollywood and VJ for doing the driving. Clutch. anyhow, I get home and no more than 30 seconds later, there is a knock at my door. To my surprise, it is my three daughters. they said they came to visit. I absolutely love my three little girls, though are not little. Hell, they aren't even mine, but I love them like my own.

Daughter #1 is a senior in high school. She has some anger issues at times, but when she's with me, she's an absolute sweetheart. She is the brainiac. She is smarter than I am and I'm pretty fuckin' smart. She is going to do huge things with her education. This girl just loves to learn. I love that about her. She is determined to succeed, and she will.

Daughter #2 is a freshman in high school and she is a handful. She takes after me. That is scary in it's own right. But she is an absolute doll. She's fun to be around, as are the other two. But this one here, she's is going to be the reason I have no hair left. Her interest in school isn't there, but she shows flashes of knowing what to do. I just need her to get it together. I am confident she will. They just never had any direction. See, daughters #1 and #2 grew up without their father. Trust me, that is his fucking loss. I have never met him, nor do I want to, but he has missed out on two beautiful girls. They are his own flesh and blood, and he has decided to not have anything to do with them. i hate him for that, but it has allowed me to enter their life and try and fulfill that role. I'm not trying to be their father, just trying to do what their father should be. His loss. Without him being there though, I don't know if I would be as close to them as I am. So, fuck him.

Daughter #3. She is my latest addition. She too is a senior in high school. She is best friend to daughters #1 and #2. She is also the daughter of a very good family friend. I absolutely adore daughter #3 (all three of them, of course). She is so polite and always says thank you. She is always smiling. One day she said she loved coming to our house. I asked her if she wanted to be daughter #3 and she just said "Sure". Me, being the big softy that I am, all I heard was "Hell yeah". But nonetheless, she holds a special place in my heart right along with the other 2.

Again, I have no intentions of trying to replace their dads or be their fathers. I am just offering them someone to talk to. Someone they can confide in. Someone they trust. I will do anything for them. I would trade my life if it meant that one of them could continue on with theirs. All of this would not be possible if it weren't for the absolute love of my life. She introduced me to them and let them be apart of our life together. Baby, I love you and these girls are three more reasons why I do.

Day 4 - Part 2: Back to .500

So, let’s cut to the chase, it’s 2-1 Cubbies out in front. Top half of the eighth is about to start. That means Kerry Wood is coming to set up the closer. He’s due to face the meat of the ARI order. Batters 3, 4 and 5 AKA Upton, Branyan and Young, have Cubs fans nervous. I’ve come to learn that nervousness is part of being a Cubs fan. In true Cubs fashion, the first batter reaches first, on an error no doubt. As Cubs fan #1 would say, that was very Cub of him. Then Branyan singles and there’s two on, none out. Here we go, yet AGAIN! How do Cubs fans do it? This is brutal. Young basically sacrifices the two runners into scoring position. Then Wood intentionally walks some tool and the bases are drunk. We need a double play. Wood strikes out ARI tool #2 and gets ARI tool #3 to fly out to Soriano. Got out of that jam. I thought about using a word I used yesterday that rhymes with “unbathed” but I won’t jinx us today. Look at me. “Misery”, “Jinxing” and “hopelessness”. I am a full-fledged Cubs fan. I sold out, I’ll admit it. But anyone that knows me, knows I’m ‘bout it. I said I was going to be a Cubs fan, and here I am, miserable as all hell.

One out in bottom of the eighth. Ramirez is up. My immediate reaction to Ramirez is “he’s a bum”. This is a guy that I spoke with, in my broken Spanish, and his broken English, at Chavez Ravine. We shared a great 10 minute conversation during batting practice. I loved that guy, and now I’m a Cubs fan, I think he’s, well, a bum. Wouldn’t you know it, the bum doubles. Runner in scoring position and we desperately NEED this insurance run. With Marmol due to pitch, we need 12 insurance runs. One may not be enough…Then it smacks me in the face. That superman effect has kicked in. We are the fuckin’ Cubs. We don’t need shit. This bipolar fan-itude I have developed is kickin’ my ass. Up and down, Down and Up. I’m going crazy, then crazier as Soto doubles in Ramirez. We got that insurance run. Then we get another as Soriano singles in Soto. Two outs. 4-1 Cubs. I got a good feeling about this one. We leave Soriano at first and now it’s DRUMROLL time.

I can’t help but feel nervous. There’s that word again. I’m nervous that Marmol is warming up. Why wouldn’t I be? Why shouldn’t I be? And of Course, he walk the lead-off batter. He gets the next batter to ground into a fielder’s choice. One on, one out, three fingernails gone. I’m praying 4-6-3 double play, but I will take anything that either gets us the win, or gets us closer to the win. YES!!! He strikes out the next batter. One on, two outs, and I can taste this bitch! Come on Marmol, quit playing with my emotions. Wow, he gets the guy to fly out, but not before thirty brids go flying through the ball’s flight path. Sweat that one out to the last second. 2 wins, 2 losses. A game and a half back behind the Reds. WHEW!

Let me finish this off with my usual song choice of the day and a note. I will be traveling out of town to a couple NBA games these next few days. Tomorrow, I’m heading to Orlando to see the Magic take on the Bucks. Then on Wednesday, I go to see Lebron and the Heat beat down the Bucks. I will try and update the blog if I can, but if not, we’ll see you on Thursday. Looking forward to Butler-UConn tonight as well. Anyhow, I’m feelin’ bad ass. I will leave you with a bad ass song…
ADDITION - I receive a number of texts from cubs fan #1 and one of them sticks out. "Maybe they won bc I didn't watch it". Though it's a little early for superstition, I totally get it. Cubs fans must be some of the most superstitious. After 103 yrs of pain, you can't help it.

Day 4 - Part 1: You Gotta Believe...

I wake up this morning feeling as empty as my stomach is. What a heartbreaker yesterday. I can’t believe it went down like that. I’m not talking about Marmol melting like butter in a hot pan, but how MLB.com froze up on me and had the nerve to say that there was a delay in play. Only to find out, the only delay was the delay in the Cubs getting three fuckin’ outs. How did they throw that one away? I actually know the answer to that, thanks to Sportscenter. But, to add to the dramatic effect, I will ask once again…HOW DID THEY THROW THAT ONE AWAY?!?!? For the last 100 plus years Cubs fans have been asking that same question about entire seasons. I can see the frustration. I can feel the hopelessness. I sympathize for them, for us. I’m one of them this week, and four days in, I’m already wondering instead of hoping. No longer wondering if this is our year, but wondering if they can get their heads out of their asses and tighten up. Give us Cubbies faithful the light at the end of the tunnel. That crack in the door that Bartman slammed on us. And yes, I am blaming that asshole because, well, simply because that’s what a Cub fan does. We blame the Bartmans! We boo our own players! We throw the ball back when the opposition hits a dinger on us. I can’t forget, WE ROCK “TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME”. That’s Chicago baseball. Not the imitation baseball played by our other stepchild of a team in the Chi. The true Kings of Chicago. The Diamond Kings. The Abe Froman-esque Kings of this motherfucker! Let it be known that this is still our year! All 103 of them have been our year, and this one is no different. We might cry and we might sulk. But we will not quit!
I look up and it’s game time. I click it on, only to see a ball leaving the park. That ball was definitely ot hit by a player in white. Back to earth I go. I will be back, my team, they need me. I will leave you with this one…Kind of random...

Day 3 - This is our year...

It's 410 pm. I've been awake for 30 minutes this time around. Working nights, though I'm used to it, takes its toll on ya. I got up early, for me at least, at about 1030a. My girlfriend wanted to go to breakfast, and I quickly agreed. There's this place called Over The Ditch cafe that has eggs benedict with crab meat on it. we get there and after a brief wait, we sit down and order. She gets the benedict and I get the country fried steak. I can't wait to eat because I love breakfast. We get our food and plow through it. It was excellent. Her benedict was amazing, if you love crab, which I do. My CFS was really good. I leave there satisfied, extremely satisfied. We get home an hour or so later and go back to sleep. A couple hours later, I'm awake and make my way to work.

I get here to find that the first leg of my teaser gets a back door cover. I was getting 19 points, PHX somehow only loses by 17 after being down by 100 or so. Luck came through today. It's all the luck I'm going to need because my Cubbies don't need any. i click on the game and find that it's 3-3 in the top half of the sixth. We get through that with ease and come through with a run in the bottom half. Soriano gets his first HR of the year. If you ask me, Soriano is a bum. He's gobbling up a shit ton of money and all he gives us Cubs fans is 200 strikeouts a year. Up until Thursday, I liked Soriano, but the second I jumped on the Misery Train I despised this guy. I pick up my phone to text Cubs fan #1 only to find a bunch of texts basically outlining how we should win today, how we would win today, and how the bum Soriano is still starting. Basically, it's a business decision. Why pay a guy $18 million to sit? But us Cubs fans want our money's worth. We want our title. We will not wait another 103 years. Every game is critical to us. When thy show any signs of hope, we can't help but get excited. When they start to look like the bums we've learned to expect, we can't help but hang our heads low. But this is our year. After all, we won yesterday. How else would we feel?

Back to the game we go. It's 4-3 still, top eight. Kerry Wood is replacing Garza who threw an OK game. He gave up 3 runs on 12 hits. He definitely won't be in the mix for many wins giving up 12 hits, but he's in line for one today. It's one out and we'll see if Wood can get through this inning unscathed. No more than five seconds after I type "unscathed" Jaramillo singles off Wood. Here we go...Ex-Cub Ronny "The Easy Out" Cedeno singles on the first pitch he sees. Two on, one out, and our season is in the balance. Pinch hitter Joe Schmoe reaches on an error. did I miss something here? Did Bartman somehow enter Wrigley without catching a bullet or a knife to the back? I didn't see Alou throwing a hissyfit in the outfield. And then, something happens. A fly ball is hit towards Colvin, my new favorite guy to cheer for. He catches the ball fires it home and throws out Jaramilo. I go nuts, quietly... Tyler Colvin just saved our season. I know there are 159 games after this, but I've enthralled myself to this Cubs fan business, and it's taken over. Anyhow, Cubs go 1-2-3. Tyler Colvin can't do everything himself as he flies out to center for the third out. *DRUMROLL* Here he comes. I'm sure Cubs fan #1 is going to text me how nervous he is. Me, I'm not nervous. This is Carlos Marmol. He is our guy, our closer. He walks the first batter and my stomach drops. then MLB gameday feed goes out and I flash the first sign of emotion as I get pissed. I flip on MLB gameday and guess what? It's 5-4 PIT. WTF happened? I swear, someone is fuckin' with me. I can't believe that happened. I wish I knew how it happened, but MLB gameday is behind. All I know is we're losing and we're down to two outs. There is one guy on and I'm going to the TV. I quickly sit back down as our small glimmer of hope is shot down. I blurt out an F-Bomb as barney hits a slow roller to "The Easy Out" and he throws the ball away. We were in business. Two on, one out, Byrd up. I was fuckin' pumped up. Then Byrd hits it to "The Easy Out" for the game ending 6-4-3 double play. I blurt out another F-Bomb and suddenly have this urge for a Jager Bomb. This was our year...

Cubs fan #1 texts "So now do you understand my concern of Marmol?" He then adds "Lost the series to a team without a winning season in 18 years. Very Cub of them." I understand your concern my friend. Only a few more days for me...Another 103 years for you...It feels like someone died. It makes me think of La Bamba when Mrs. Valenzuela finds out here son dies...It goes to the tune of this...

Day 2 - Another day game...

So, I wake up at 11am. I work nights and usually don't go to sleep until about 430am and last night was no different. I had plenty of time to reflect on my decision and I was actually glad that I made it. I watched the Dodger highlights on Sportscenter and found that they were 2-0. Good for them and by "them" I mean the fans, players and coaches. Well, good for everyone EXCEPT the McCourts. I truly wish the Dodgers the best. I will be back around next season maybe, or maybe that's me hoping that they sell the team by then. Sell it to Magic Johnson. Why not? If he's looking for a stake in an NFL team, why not an MLB team? Shit, Mark Cuban has the money. We know he would shell out the cash to try and buy a championship. anyway, as you can see, as soon as the Dodgers are brought up I stray towards bitterness. Let's keep this about my Cubbies.

I made it official yesterday by changing my profile pic on my Facebook page. I mean, nothing is more official than Facebook. A relationship isn't set in stone until that relationship status ditches its "single" moniker and takes on a new life with the "In a relationship" tag. Then when you add the "In a relationship with ____" it gets realy serious. So, the same would go with my fanship. I took a little hell from my friends. I got accused of it being an April Fool's joke, but this is no joke. I'm all about the Cubbies this week.

My old Dodger fan habits struck again by me missing the first two innings, again. Day games, they are hard to keep up with. To me a day game means that I'm gonna be hungover by 7:30pm and wide awake because of the two hour nap I just took. Anyway, I turn it on, thanks to a head's up from Cubs fan #1 that the MLB package was free this week. It's the top of the third, Cubs trail PIT 2-0. I watch as Zambrano the Headcase gets the Cubs' first hit, only to get stranded on 2nd. He has trouble finding the strike zone but it is the Headcase. No big deal. I can feel the energy. At any given moment, our big bats are gonna come alive and we're gonna blow this thing wide open. Pena is gonna show that he was worth the money. Our $126 million dollar payroll is gonna pull through. By the eighth inning, I'm still waiting. It's 3-0 PIT and I remember the words Cubs fan #1 told me yesterday. Words to live by. "We're down 2-0 in the sixth. We aren't winning this one." The only difference is its 3-0 in the eighth. So, I learn that if the Cubs are down by 2 or more runs in the last third of the game, they aren't going to win. At least you can leave the stadium early which is something I can relate to. It doesn't matter in L.A. Up 2, down 2, no-no going. You're bailing in the seventh inning to beat traffic or to avoid a beating some baldy that couldn't handle his Bud Light is gonna throw at you.

Anyhow, game #2 is deja vu. No hope for a comeback. No rally caps. No late inning heroics. Just another loss and a no win, two loss record. 160 to go. On pace for a 162 game losing streak. 104th year is underway and it's looking grim. It's all too familiar. There's always next year week.

I check the score again and it's 3-2 PIT in the bottom half of the eighth. I knew it all along. I knew these guys would pull through. It's a tie game. Soriano gets his first hit of the season to tie this bitch up. Two on, two out, some guy I have never cheered for, or heard of,  in my life is up and I'm going ape shit. Tyler Colvin don't fuck this up. It might be another 23 innings before we have another runner in scoring position. YES! Colvin walks and ex-Dodger Blake DeWitt doubles in two. Blake joined the Cubs last year when the genius Coletti traded this young talented guy for 87 year old Ted Lilly. ANYWAY!!! 5 runs in, two on, two out. That's nine batters. We just batted around the order. Fuck U Do Me strikes out. We're headed to the ninth three outs away from our first win. There is hope that this could be our year. Marmol has Cubs fan #1 a bit nervous. Nervous? this boy is fire. 3 K's later, he locks in our first win. Good shit boys. Cubs fan #1 texts me "The beginning of a 161 game winning streak." I feel the same way...

Day 1: LET'S GO CUBBIES!

Day 1, 12:30 pm: I get to my friend's house, a Phillies fan, and their game is starting. I let him know about my plan for the summer. He enjoys a good laugh out of it. Seventeen minutes pass and I put my fist up and say it..."Let's go Cubbies". It is quite refreshing actually. The first time i didn't hate that it was baseball season. then eighteen minutes after 12:30 pm, I realize I'm a Cubs fan. Seven long miserable days where next year is always our year.

A friend and his friends are meeting at Chicago Pizza at the beaches for a 2:20 start. My Cubbies are hosting the Pirates. I'm pumped. Fresh fade, digi socks and Lebron Christmas' on my feet. It's go time. I get there at 2:40, 20 minutes late, a habit formed from my Dodger fan days. Who gets there on time? Cubs fans do apparently. I tell everyone what is happening with my fan-ship. They are glad to welcome me on board the Cubbies' train. And no longer then 5 seconds on board, after we leave the station, they hit me with it. They told me it was going to be hell. Seven days of expecting nothing because Cubs fan gave up expecting greatness 80 years ago. Expect nothing, and you will still get disappointed according to a Cubbies fan. So, I order an Italian Beef sandwich. A fave amongst Chicagoans. I settle in. It's the third inning Cubs are up 1-0. Shortly after they're up 2-0. This could be the start of something new, something good. Then the 5th inning comes. Top half. Pittsburgh has one guy on and ex-cub Ronny Cedeno is up at the plate. The talk around the table is how he's a bum and he's an easy out. He walks. One out and one walk later, the bases are drunk and immediately, the mood around the table gets somber. They're worried. Im' not. Dempster has this. 2-2 count, relax guys. Thirty seconds and a "slider that didn't slide" later, the score is 4-2. And you can tell, these guys are preparing for another long season. Then it dawns on me, I'm in for a long week. My friend tells me, "We're down 2 in the 6th. We are not coming back." and there it is, they don't come back. They lose the game 6-3. Zero wins, one loss, 161 to go and there is always next year. I am getting the hang of this Cubs fan thing. Can't get used to it though...
Edit: Interesting take on cubs loss. Cubs fan #3: Well, I'll take the Astros loss. Me: *PUZZLED LOOK ON MY FACE* Cubs fan #3: I'll take a division loss any day. Cubs fan #1: Bullshit, the Astros closer is my fantasy closer and he just blew the save.

"Final Day"

So, yesterday I woke up and knew that it was Opening Day of the 2011 MLB season. Usually an exciting day, today seemed a bit different. I wasn't as excited as I've been in past years. There wasn't a new face to be excited about. There wasn't that feeling of knowing, or hoping in most cases, that this was our year. In fact, if it was our year, that meant it was our year to not expect anything good, let alone great. See, I'm a Dodger fan. Born a Dodger fan. Bred a Dodger fan. Planned on dying a Dodger fan. Dodger Fuckin' Blue ya know. I bleed that shit. I love that team. I LOVE that stadium. I love our fans. (Sidenote: In no way do I condone what took place last night at Chavez Ravine. I mean critically injuring a Giants fan over a baseball game is absurd. HOWEVER, I expect that. That fan should've expected it too. The police are currently looking for two adult males, shaved head, Dodger jersey, extra baggy pants, brown skin. I bet they are hot on the trail...) anyhow, back to the Dodger stroke fest. I loved everything about that team. I mean we have Vin Scully bitches! But, and a HUGE BUT, our owners are the McCourt's and they are tying up the team's money in McDivoreCourt. They have fulfilled their own needs over the team's. Millions of dollars spent on lawyers and legal fees. Alimonies totaling more than what most people will make in a lifetime. Children's salaries who do absolutely NOTHING for the team. We as fans have needs. We as a team have huge needs. We need a huge arm. We have to have a HUGE bat. We don't have any of those. Kemp and Ethier are outstanding ball players, but they won't carry us to October let alone through October. Our ace is Kershaw, who is a beast, but he is not a true ace. We have a bunch of "scrappy" guys who are capable, but not dependable. Truth is, this is NOT our year. And as long as we have Frank and his Jester McCourt, it will never be our year.

Anyhow, after waking up and having this empty feeling about baseball, I decided enough is enough. I will no longer line the pockets of these two assholes. I will not help them out if they will not help us out. Everyone knows the business of baseball is to win, and in turn, you get fans to show up, unless you are in Miami, in which you're fucked. I can no longer sit around and cheer for their divorce because when you cheer for the Dodgers, you are cheering for their divorce lawyers. when you buy a ticket and a Dodger dog and a tall can of Bud Light at the stadium, you're paying for Mrs. McCourt to get her nails did. But not a day longer for this Dodger fan. See, I am officially boycotting this team. Nothing against the players, but it is THEIR team now. It is no longer OURS.

What am I going to do? I love staying up til 130a to see if we lost won. Who am I going to cheer for? Then it hit me. I can accept applications from teams and their fans to tell me who to cheer for. I mean there are 27 teams left to choose from. ANGELS and GIANTS are absolute no-no's. I'm a passionate guy and I passionately hated those guys for so long, I'd rather give up baseball all together then to succumb to being a fan of either of those teams. Flashback 2002, I finally understood how Andy Stitzer felt in 1986 as he told me "The only thing I hoped was that their two team planes collided in mid-air. So, I posted on facebook and my friend steve suggested that I join the misery train and become a Cubs fan. so my reply was quite surprising, even to myself, and I said SURE, WHY THE FUCK NOT? So, I then came up with the idea of cheering for a different team each week from Fri to Thurs, I will have a new team and this week , Week #1, it is the Chicago Cubs. This is gonna be a tough one...Wish me luck and stay tuned... I will leave you with this song...