So, we meet again. I have a couple things on my mind. More than a couple. My mind is running and I can’t keep up. Ok, it’s not that serious. But, I do have some things to talk about. Let’s just get the ball rolling.
Daytona 500 – What a fucking disaster. I’m not gonna rant too much about the Great American Race, but that race should’ve never happened. I know they want to make their money, but it had doom written all over it. Under the lights? Let’s not market it as some prime time night race. It was under the lights because rather than worry about safety, they were worried about money. Then you have idiots like Elliot Sadler who decides to try and race like a mad man one lap in and take out a few cars. Then you have the novelty act in Danica Patrick. Then the explosion. Really? So, I’m no fucking genius, but if they jet dryers (the JET as in JET FUEL and DRYERS as in DRYING the WET track) are out on the track, why are they racing? Obviously, it was because they wanted to hurry up and finish so they can land somewhere between saving face and making money. I mean, what if that explosion was in front of the stands? Someone could have died. I mean at the bare minimum, fans would’ve rushed out of the stands and people would’ve been hurt by the stampede. Bad move NASCAR, bad move…
Clipper Darrell. What is there to say about this guy? For a long time, he was the delusional, crazy and over the top loud super fan in the half blue, half red suit. If you’ve ever been to a Clipper game, then you know who he is. Everyone always wondered about his fanship. Why the Clippers? Truth is every team has one. And the Clippers, well, they had him. That was until a day ago. Clipper Darrell posted on his page that the team asked him not to be Clipper Darrell anymore. They actually said that he was not a fan of the Clippers, but a fan of making money off of the Clippers. I’ve been a Clipper fan for a long time. Let me tell you, it was tough. I grew up a Laker fan but as soon as a certain family member became part of the organization, I was in. I sat through 30% filled arenas just to watch them win 20 games. I’ve sat through them have players tell them they would not play if the Clippers drafted them, and you know what? I couldn’t argue with them for that. The games were hard to watch, and very few did. But Clipper Darrell was there. ALWAYS! He seemed loud, but that was because the Staples Center was so empty, you could hear a woman fart. Now things are on the rise. Clippers are winning. Seats are full and tickets are scarce. I get that the Clippers do not want him profiting off of their name. I get it. They don’t want him making appearances on behalf of the team without the consent of the team. Is it that they care that much or is it that they don’t like not getting a cut of it? Let’s look at this for what it really is. He was there when hardly anybody was. Now, you don’t need him. You don’t need him to be the face of the Clippers when, let’s face it, he was the face of the team for a long time. I don’t like this. I don’t like this one bit. But, business is business. I’m just a fan on the wrong end of the argument. Clipper Darrell, you will always be the number one Clipper fan to me. We have met many times, and every time we did, you left me wondering if there could be a bigger fan. The answer to that was simple. There could not! You will be known as Clipper Darrell FOREVER!
On a more refreshing topic, I will be in the ATL this weekend. I will be there to support a local 7-on-7 team that I help out with. The team’s comprised of some of the best kids in Jacksonville, FL. These kids are good. Most of all, these kids are hungry. Most of them want it. I wish all of them wanted as bad as some of the others, but as a group, they are hungry. They have a steep road in front of them. There will be 30, if not more, of some of the best teams in the region. South Florida has about a billion teams, and they all have some talent. Serious talent. The kind that you will see play on Saturdays and some even on Sundays. I have devoted some time to these kids and I am starting to grow attached to the team. The coaches are football geniuses. I hope to make a difference in one of these kids’ life. It’s my first tournament with the team and I am stoked. I might be more hyped than some of the kids. There is one certain kid that I have grown to almost love like my own. In fact, I do. He has made his mark in my life and I hope I am doing the same for him. I basically made him tryout and over the weeks he has proved himself to be quite the talent. He isn’t playing this weekend due to injury, but he knows who he is. And if he is reading this, I hope he knows how much he means to me and my family. We’re all in with you son.
Anyhow, I hope that all one of my followers are reading this. If not, then so be it. I mentioned this song earlier in a conversation an so I will leave you with it. Feelin' old school...
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Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
New year. New day. New rant!
It’s been a long time my friends. I haven’t had much to write about. Well, I have had a lot to write about, but I’ve been too lazy. A lot has happened since my last blog. A LOT! Things are changing. My life got a hell of a lot better with a simple word. That word was “Yes!”. She said yes sounds so cliché, but it’s true. She did say that. I’m not sure if she knew what she was getting into, but it’s almost too late.
Anyhow, like I said before, a lot has changed since the last post. I can’t even tell you who won the World Series. What I can tell you is that the Dodgers fared exactly how we expected them to. We had the NL Cy Young winner. We had the “should-be” MVP in Matt Kemp (will revisit this later). We had the never-ending divorce, and, we had Vin Scully. That’s it. The NBA lockout pushed NBA back to Christmas Day, totally fucking my plans. My Patties made it to the Super Bowl and were beat by Eli and the dumb look on his face. USC played for nothing. Tiger played like nothing. And one would think that I am angry about everything. Not the case.
I should have been surprised about my patriots. People were saying that they wouldn’t win 10 games. They won 13 regular season games. Won the AFC. Blah Blah Blah. We didn’t win the big game and I won’t even get into it since ESPN, NFL network and every other media avenue went through every aspect of the game a million times. I mean, I like to be informed, but breaking down a cover 2 or Tampa 2 to your typical NFL fan only makes them believe that they know the game of football more than everybody else. I had a conversation with a guy who tried to tell me that a Tampa 2 scheme doesn’t work without a fast linebacker. No shit dumbass. The NFL doesn’t work without a fast linebacker. John Maddenisms all over again. “The problem with that throw is the receiver will either catch the ball or drop the ball.” I had a guy tell me that the game would come down to who has the better quarterback and which defense plays better. That’s like saying this hold ‘em hand will come down to who has the better cards in the hole and which community cards benefit which player better. Captain fucking obvious. Though you see the resentment, I am not upset that we lost. I have celebrated three Super Bowl wins since my 21st birthday. So I CELEBRATED quite well. I know that we will contend next year and every year for the foreseeable future. I am not mad. I just hate that the average Joe is informed just enough to think that he is the next NFL genius.
REVISITATION…I won’t get into the stats of Matt Kemp or Ryan Braun. Ryan Braun won the MVP. Fair and square? I’m not sure. However, he is the NL MVP. He gets popped for PEDs. The whole PED thing is asinine to me. Level playing field? It is. They all use something to stay healthy. Bud Selig doesn’t care. He just acts like he does. All he cares about is ratings and money. Anyhow, Braun became the first person to win his appeal of his suspension. He won because a courier didn’t think that FedEx was open on Saturday night. Here’s my issue. Is this courier not sanctioned by MLB to be able to handle this urine sample? He should be. He should be able to be trusted with the sample no matter how long he has it. Even if he got it to FedEx on Saturday, it wasn’t getting delivered to anyone on Sunday. It would sit unrefrigerated until Monday. Where is the chain of custody? Since when does FedEx allow liquids to be sent? Why was he given this sample on a Saturday? I’ll tell you because MLB did not want this appeal to go any other way than it did. Evidence thrown out in appeals court for the win. MLB couldn’t afford for their MVP to be stripped of his award. MLB would have suffered more fan loss because of the known PED usage. It’s a joke. Not quite as funny as the ongoing McDivorceCourts, but still quite laughable.
Which brings me to this. Why don’t we let Mark Cuban buy the fucking team? He will spend money. He will make sure we’re in the news, and he will get players to come. Magic Johnson wants the team, let him have it. Joe Torre wants it. WTF? Anyone will do better than the two idiots we got. I’m all for the city owning it like a publically traded entity. I would buy two shares and print business cards that said “Jason Maikui, Owner, Los Angeles Dodgers” . Kind of has a nice ring to it.
My next rant could be a touchy subject for some of you. If I offend you, I apologize in advance. If my views seem unsympathetic, they are. BULLYING. Since when was this punishable by law. I mean, I can see if bullying became over physical. Then obviously, there should be punishment for breaking the law by physically harming someone. But, cyber bullying? I mean a kid tells a girl she’s a stupid slut on Facebook, then she commits suicide and the bully is facing criminal charges for making fun of her. It’s no secret, I’m fat. Fat as fuck even. I was called fat a million times. It never bothered me because facts are facts. I never once thought of killing myself. All I thought is if this motherfucker calls me fat one more time, I’m gonna smash his face in. Problem solved. I do not condone cyber bullying. However, I don’t think a kid should be punished for leaving a degrading comment on a kid’s Facebook page. If that kid commits suicide because of the comments, it truly is a sad story, but to charge 40 kids with that person’s death is bullshit. KIDS ARE SOFT! It’s ok for kids to cry in high school these days. Kid A gets whooped up by Kid B and makes Kid A cry, no one says anything after a day or so. In my day, if a kid got beat up and cried, you might as well transfer. You would be called crybaby the rest of their lives. Again, kids are soft. It starts when they are 5 and get a trophy when they finish in 37th place. I think that it’s society’s fault for crippling these kids with these assurances that their parents are NOT allowed to spank them. They are NOT allowed to talk down to you. If you follow the rules laid out by society, you know what you get? A kid that wants to end their world because another kid made fun of them. A kid that thinks they don’t have to do what you tell them because all you can do is snatch their iPod away from them. I see too many parents give their rotten ass kids whatever they want just to shut them up. I started a group that never took off like I thought it would. It was called ACT UP, SMACKED UP! Let’s face it adults, kids these days are missing one thing in their life. A good old fashioned ass whooping. That is what’s wrong with these kids. Adults have taken the approach that it’s easier to give the kids what they want then to actually deal with them. Again, I’m sorry for those who have dealt with the issue of kid’s suicide or attempts. It’s not your fault that society has dictated how kids must be dealt with. If I offended you, I truly am sorry. I just think that kids need to toughen up. And it’s our duty as the adults in their situation to do that for them.
Next item on the menu: my engagement. This will be done quickly as I don’t want to reveal too much about it. I have been with my fiancee for 5 ½ years. This past New Year’s Eve, I had my mom, step dad and little brother come out to help celebrate our surprise engagement party. She had no idea. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, knew except her. She said yes and made me the happiest dude on earth. I love her so much and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her. THE END.
So, hopefully I have the energy to keep up the blog. I will add more than just sports. Just tell you how I’m feeling. To the few that will read this, thank you. Until next time. As always, i leave you with this...
Anyhow, like I said before, a lot has changed since the last post. I can’t even tell you who won the World Series. What I can tell you is that the Dodgers fared exactly how we expected them to. We had the NL Cy Young winner. We had the “should-be” MVP in Matt Kemp (will revisit this later). We had the never-ending divorce, and, we had Vin Scully. That’s it. The NBA lockout pushed NBA back to Christmas Day, totally fucking my plans. My Patties made it to the Super Bowl and were beat by Eli and the dumb look on his face. USC played for nothing. Tiger played like nothing. And one would think that I am angry about everything. Not the case.
I should have been surprised about my patriots. People were saying that they wouldn’t win 10 games. They won 13 regular season games. Won the AFC. Blah Blah Blah. We didn’t win the big game and I won’t even get into it since ESPN, NFL network and every other media avenue went through every aspect of the game a million times. I mean, I like to be informed, but breaking down a cover 2 or Tampa 2 to your typical NFL fan only makes them believe that they know the game of football more than everybody else. I had a conversation with a guy who tried to tell me that a Tampa 2 scheme doesn’t work without a fast linebacker. No shit dumbass. The NFL doesn’t work without a fast linebacker. John Maddenisms all over again. “The problem with that throw is the receiver will either catch the ball or drop the ball.” I had a guy tell me that the game would come down to who has the better quarterback and which defense plays better. That’s like saying this hold ‘em hand will come down to who has the better cards in the hole and which community cards benefit which player better. Captain fucking obvious. Though you see the resentment, I am not upset that we lost. I have celebrated three Super Bowl wins since my 21st birthday. So I CELEBRATED quite well. I know that we will contend next year and every year for the foreseeable future. I am not mad. I just hate that the average Joe is informed just enough to think that he is the next NFL genius.
REVISITATION…I won’t get into the stats of Matt Kemp or Ryan Braun. Ryan Braun won the MVP. Fair and square? I’m not sure. However, he is the NL MVP. He gets popped for PEDs. The whole PED thing is asinine to me. Level playing field? It is. They all use something to stay healthy. Bud Selig doesn’t care. He just acts like he does. All he cares about is ratings and money. Anyhow, Braun became the first person to win his appeal of his suspension. He won because a courier didn’t think that FedEx was open on Saturday night. Here’s my issue. Is this courier not sanctioned by MLB to be able to handle this urine sample? He should be. He should be able to be trusted with the sample no matter how long he has it. Even if he got it to FedEx on Saturday, it wasn’t getting delivered to anyone on Sunday. It would sit unrefrigerated until Monday. Where is the chain of custody? Since when does FedEx allow liquids to be sent? Why was he given this sample on a Saturday? I’ll tell you because MLB did not want this appeal to go any other way than it did. Evidence thrown out in appeals court for the win. MLB couldn’t afford for their MVP to be stripped of his award. MLB would have suffered more fan loss because of the known PED usage. It’s a joke. Not quite as funny as the ongoing McDivorceCourts, but still quite laughable.
Which brings me to this. Why don’t we let Mark Cuban buy the fucking team? He will spend money. He will make sure we’re in the news, and he will get players to come. Magic Johnson wants the team, let him have it. Joe Torre wants it. WTF? Anyone will do better than the two idiots we got. I’m all for the city owning it like a publically traded entity. I would buy two shares and print business cards that said “Jason Maikui, Owner, Los Angeles Dodgers” . Kind of has a nice ring to it.
My next rant could be a touchy subject for some of you. If I offend you, I apologize in advance. If my views seem unsympathetic, they are. BULLYING. Since when was this punishable by law. I mean, I can see if bullying became over physical. Then obviously, there should be punishment for breaking the law by physically harming someone. But, cyber bullying? I mean a kid tells a girl she’s a stupid slut on Facebook, then she commits suicide and the bully is facing criminal charges for making fun of her. It’s no secret, I’m fat. Fat as fuck even. I was called fat a million times. It never bothered me because facts are facts. I never once thought of killing myself. All I thought is if this motherfucker calls me fat one more time, I’m gonna smash his face in. Problem solved. I do not condone cyber bullying. However, I don’t think a kid should be punished for leaving a degrading comment on a kid’s Facebook page. If that kid commits suicide because of the comments, it truly is a sad story, but to charge 40 kids with that person’s death is bullshit. KIDS ARE SOFT! It’s ok for kids to cry in high school these days. Kid A gets whooped up by Kid B and makes Kid A cry, no one says anything after a day or so. In my day, if a kid got beat up and cried, you might as well transfer. You would be called crybaby the rest of their lives. Again, kids are soft. It starts when they are 5 and get a trophy when they finish in 37th place. I think that it’s society’s fault for crippling these kids with these assurances that their parents are NOT allowed to spank them. They are NOT allowed to talk down to you. If you follow the rules laid out by society, you know what you get? A kid that wants to end their world because another kid made fun of them. A kid that thinks they don’t have to do what you tell them because all you can do is snatch their iPod away from them. I see too many parents give their rotten ass kids whatever they want just to shut them up. I started a group that never took off like I thought it would. It was called ACT UP, SMACKED UP! Let’s face it adults, kids these days are missing one thing in their life. A good old fashioned ass whooping. That is what’s wrong with these kids. Adults have taken the approach that it’s easier to give the kids what they want then to actually deal with them. Again, I’m sorry for those who have dealt with the issue of kid’s suicide or attempts. It’s not your fault that society has dictated how kids must be dealt with. If I offended you, I truly am sorry. I just think that kids need to toughen up. And it’s our duty as the adults in their situation to do that for them.
Next item on the menu: my engagement. This will be done quickly as I don’t want to reveal too much about it. I have been with my fiancee for 5 ½ years. This past New Year’s Eve, I had my mom, step dad and little brother come out to help celebrate our surprise engagement party. She had no idea. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, knew except her. She said yes and made me the happiest dude on earth. I love her so much and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her. THE END.
So, hopefully I have the energy to keep up the blog. I will add more than just sports. Just tell you how I’m feeling. To the few that will read this, thank you. Until next time. As always, i leave you with this...
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
I'm baaaaaack!
I’m back fuckers! It has been two months and a day since my last rant. A lot has happened in the last two months. Some ups, but more downs. However you look at it, I’m alive. It will take more than a few somber moments to get this old dog to roll over and play dead. I will get you guys up to speed on what’s been going on with me. But first, I want to say that I am thankful for what god has provided me, and I am truly blessed with great friends, a wonderful family and the most amazing girlfriend who I love with every ounce of me. Shit, I weigh about 280, and at 16 ounces a pound, that’s a lot.
Grandma Kui – On June 22nd I got a call from my little brother that the following day would be the day that they were going to remove my grandmother from the breathing machine. I instantly broke down and my little brother asked me if I was sad. I simply replied to him “Fuck yeah I’m sad.” I cried for a little bit. I apologized to Big D that I wasn’t there for him. He told me that he was ok and that he was fine with the decision because he knew Grandma Kui wouldn’t be suffering any more. She was like a mother to Big D and I was so proud of him and the way he handled the situation. I couldn’t get a flight out until Friday the 24th and wouldn’t arrive until midnight. I called my family who told me that though it wasn’t their intention to wait until I got there, the circumstances allowed for me to arrive in time to say good bye. I got there Friday night, went to sleep and the next morning we went to the hospital. I will keep this next part simple, as it was a rough day for me. I walked in, told her I loved her, said goodbye, and waited. A few hours later, she left us and as a family, we were satisfied. We hurt, but we knew that she didn’t. That was good enough for us. For those that know me on a personal level, things haven’t been the same for our family, but it’s not my first rodeo. I’ve seen dissention amongst family members caused by death multiple times. We’ll get through it. To Grandma Kui, I love you and I appreciate all you did for our family. You will never be forgotten and will forever be missed.
Bells Palsy – What is that you ask? Hell if I know. But I got it. How? No one knows. How does it go away? You wait. So, July 16th rolls around. Me and my girl go out for lunch and I notice that the chips taste funny. Then I notice that everything taste off. I just chalk it up as another Jacksonville failed attempt at Mexican food. I get home and I decide to chill out before I go to a friend’s birthday dinner. I’m jazzed up. We’re going to Crabcake Factory where the food is AMAZING! We celebrated my girl’s birthday there and we were 100% satisfied with our meal. Anyhow, I’m laying on the couch watching something and I start to tear up uncontrollably. Not crying, just my right eye dropping liquid. I’m confused because Forrest Gump isn’t on. I then realize that I can’t blink my eye. I figure my eye is swollen and go take a look in the mirror. I confirm that it is swollen, and I go to crack a smile because I thought it was so stupid I could laugh about it. Then I realize I have half a smile. Then it dawns on me that I lost control over the right side of my face. That’s when the panic begins to set in. I fucking thought I was having a stroke. I worried the shit out of my girl and jumped in the car to head to the ER. On the way to Mayo, I realize that my co-pay is $300 for emergencies and $500 for non-emergencies. I quickly went to my Droid and Googled “Stroke Symptoms” and “Stroke Tests”. I diagnosed myself with one of two things. I either had a swollen salivary gland or Bells Palsy. I was right. Bells Palsy is a condition where your facial nerve becomes inflamed and you lose control of the muscles on that side of your face. I couldn’t smoke properly. I couldn’t eat anything without biting my lips. I could drink out of a can or bottle. So in other words, life sucked. The worst part of it all was that there is no time table to when you get better or if you get better at all. However, within a couple weeks, I have about 90% control of my face. The other 10% is pending. Thanks to all who offered words of encouragement and really helped me through a tough time. It was a lot harder on everyone else than it was me, but we made it through, God willing.
Crossfit Games – Ok, where to start with this. A couple of months ago I get a call at home from my boss. He asks me if I was willing to be loaned out to another department for the summer. I really didn’t want to, but he promised a 9-530 schedule and I thought it would be nice. So I accepted. I found out later that day I would be helping with Crossfit. A few days later I was told I would be going to the Crossfit Games…IN LOS ANGELES. So, naturally, I was excited. I get a free trip home. Fast forward a couple months and I arrive in L.A., with Bells Palsy, but excited to see my family again. The event starts, and boy was it hard work. A ton of walking. I walked so much the first day that I developed these big ass blisters on the bottom of my feet. Tuesday was 12 hours of pain and suffering. Tuesday night I had to take a razor blade to the bottom of my feet. I could barely walk. Wednesday morning came and I was in some serious pain. Two hours into work I had to make a decision. I was close to telling my PM that he had to send me home and have someone else come out. Luckily, a friend of mine showed me to the trainer’s room for the Chivas USA football team. I talked to one of the trainers who agreed to look at my feet. He gave me the superstar treatment. He drew out the remaining fluid, shot up my feet with Hydrocortisone, and padded my feet so well, I was able to work that day. The next day came and I could run and jump like nothing had happened. This man saved my life. I will forever be in debt to him. Fast forward a couple days and 9 trillion setbacks later and the games started. I was amazed and inspired by not only the athletes, but the entire Crossfit community. I have never been to an event with a more beautiful crowd, nor have I seen such an uplifting crowd. Everyone cheered for everyone, and the athletes were so “fi” that I felt like I needed to go to the gym immediately. The event and venue were beautiful, the weather impeccable and the attendees were absolutely amazing. If you have a chance, look up Crossfit on Youtube, and see just how challenging it really is. I met some good people and look forward to remaining friends with some of them. I can’t wait to see how much better the event is next year.
Anyhow, that was the last couple months of my life. I will include some pictures below to briefly show you what went on. As for baseball, I came to grips that I will always bleed Dodger Blue, but I still can’t wait for that jackass to get the fuck outta Dodge. So, for the time being, I will still cheer for another team. Remember, I am part of the solution, not the problem. As sad as it is, I just cannot support this guy and his soon to be ex-wife. And no matter what you do, supporting the team means lining his pockets. I apologize to the team as I would love nothing more than to offer support, but until he goes, I stay away.
Here are some pics from my "Goodbye to Grandma Kui" trip - FOOD!
Lee's Sandwiches - Vietnamese sandwiches. I met a cool dude and we talked gamblin'. So the wait was quick.
Grandma Kui – On June 22nd I got a call from my little brother that the following day would be the day that they were going to remove my grandmother from the breathing machine. I instantly broke down and my little brother asked me if I was sad. I simply replied to him “Fuck yeah I’m sad.” I cried for a little bit. I apologized to Big D that I wasn’t there for him. He told me that he was ok and that he was fine with the decision because he knew Grandma Kui wouldn’t be suffering any more. She was like a mother to Big D and I was so proud of him and the way he handled the situation. I couldn’t get a flight out until Friday the 24th and wouldn’t arrive until midnight. I called my family who told me that though it wasn’t their intention to wait until I got there, the circumstances allowed for me to arrive in time to say good bye. I got there Friday night, went to sleep and the next morning we went to the hospital. I will keep this next part simple, as it was a rough day for me. I walked in, told her I loved her, said goodbye, and waited. A few hours later, she left us and as a family, we were satisfied. We hurt, but we knew that she didn’t. That was good enough for us. For those that know me on a personal level, things haven’t been the same for our family, but it’s not my first rodeo. I’ve seen dissention amongst family members caused by death multiple times. We’ll get through it. To Grandma Kui, I love you and I appreciate all you did for our family. You will never be forgotten and will forever be missed.
Bells Palsy – What is that you ask? Hell if I know. But I got it. How? No one knows. How does it go away? You wait. So, July 16th rolls around. Me and my girl go out for lunch and I notice that the chips taste funny. Then I notice that everything taste off. I just chalk it up as another Jacksonville failed attempt at Mexican food. I get home and I decide to chill out before I go to a friend’s birthday dinner. I’m jazzed up. We’re going to Crabcake Factory where the food is AMAZING! We celebrated my girl’s birthday there and we were 100% satisfied with our meal. Anyhow, I’m laying on the couch watching something and I start to tear up uncontrollably. Not crying, just my right eye dropping liquid. I’m confused because Forrest Gump isn’t on. I then realize that I can’t blink my eye. I figure my eye is swollen and go take a look in the mirror. I confirm that it is swollen, and I go to crack a smile because I thought it was so stupid I could laugh about it. Then I realize I have half a smile. Then it dawns on me that I lost control over the right side of my face. That’s when the panic begins to set in. I fucking thought I was having a stroke. I worried the shit out of my girl and jumped in the car to head to the ER. On the way to Mayo, I realize that my co-pay is $300 for emergencies and $500 for non-emergencies. I quickly went to my Droid and Googled “Stroke Symptoms” and “Stroke Tests”. I diagnosed myself with one of two things. I either had a swollen salivary gland or Bells Palsy. I was right. Bells Palsy is a condition where your facial nerve becomes inflamed and you lose control of the muscles on that side of your face. I couldn’t smoke properly. I couldn’t eat anything without biting my lips. I could drink out of a can or bottle. So in other words, life sucked. The worst part of it all was that there is no time table to when you get better or if you get better at all. However, within a couple weeks, I have about 90% control of my face. The other 10% is pending. Thanks to all who offered words of encouragement and really helped me through a tough time. It was a lot harder on everyone else than it was me, but we made it through, God willing.
Crossfit Games – Ok, where to start with this. A couple of months ago I get a call at home from my boss. He asks me if I was willing to be loaned out to another department for the summer. I really didn’t want to, but he promised a 9-530 schedule and I thought it would be nice. So I accepted. I found out later that day I would be helping with Crossfit. A few days later I was told I would be going to the Crossfit Games…IN LOS ANGELES. So, naturally, I was excited. I get a free trip home. Fast forward a couple months and I arrive in L.A., with Bells Palsy, but excited to see my family again. The event starts, and boy was it hard work. A ton of walking. I walked so much the first day that I developed these big ass blisters on the bottom of my feet. Tuesday was 12 hours of pain and suffering. Tuesday night I had to take a razor blade to the bottom of my feet. I could barely walk. Wednesday morning came and I was in some serious pain. Two hours into work I had to make a decision. I was close to telling my PM that he had to send me home and have someone else come out. Luckily, a friend of mine showed me to the trainer’s room for the Chivas USA football team. I talked to one of the trainers who agreed to look at my feet. He gave me the superstar treatment. He drew out the remaining fluid, shot up my feet with Hydrocortisone, and padded my feet so well, I was able to work that day. The next day came and I could run and jump like nothing had happened. This man saved my life. I will forever be in debt to him. Fast forward a couple days and 9 trillion setbacks later and the games started. I was amazed and inspired by not only the athletes, but the entire Crossfit community. I have never been to an event with a more beautiful crowd, nor have I seen such an uplifting crowd. Everyone cheered for everyone, and the athletes were so “fi” that I felt like I needed to go to the gym immediately. The event and venue were beautiful, the weather impeccable and the attendees were absolutely amazing. If you have a chance, look up Crossfit on Youtube, and see just how challenging it really is. I met some good people and look forward to remaining friends with some of them. I can’t wait to see how much better the event is next year.
Anyhow, that was the last couple months of my life. I will include some pictures below to briefly show you what went on. As for baseball, I came to grips that I will always bleed Dodger Blue, but I still can’t wait for that jackass to get the fuck outta Dodge. So, for the time being, I will still cheer for another team. Remember, I am part of the solution, not the problem. As sad as it is, I just cannot support this guy and his soon to be ex-wife. And no matter what you do, supporting the team means lining his pockets. I apologize to the team as I would love nothing more than to offer support, but until he goes, I stay away.
Here are some pics from my "Goodbye to Grandma Kui" trip - FOOD!
Lee's Sandwiches - Vietnamese sandwiches. I met a cool dude and we talked gamblin'. So the wait was quick.
Gardena Bowl - Hawaiian food in a bowling alley. It doesn't get better than that. Lau Lau, mac salad, lomi salmon...
Lucilles's - NY Steak
Road to Seoul - Korean BBQ. Shout outs to Pinky for showing me the way...
Bulgogi
Beef Tongue and Pork Belly
Squid and more Beef Tongue
In-n-Out...but of course. Excuse the bite taken out. I couldn't wait the 2 seconds for the camera app to load.
Louis Burgers - Chili Fries with Pastrami
Taco Truck - Need I say more...
and as ALWAYS!!! DIANA'S...#30, de verde, solamente frijoles con mas queso...
CROSSFIT TRIP - L.A. Trip #2...
Diana's - First time I ever had #30 with Red Chile. It was pretty fuckin' good.
Goldilock's Bakery - Deep Fried Siopao
On to the Games. I can't express enough how exciting these games really were. The reason being: the crowd was ELECTRIC! It was a lot of fun and an honor being a part of the games. Shot out to Rob Jantzen, volunteer of the year.
Rob and Enwei - my two volunteers. Two of the nicest people I've met.
This girl pushin' 275 pounds after killing herself...awesome!
Team Event - I think she did this 50 times...
Women's Final - Annie Sakamoto and Camille Leblanc-Bazinet doing box jumps.
Women's Final - Camille Leblanc-Bazinet...
Women's champ - Annie Thorisdottir
Men's Winner - Rich Froning, Jr.
Rich Froning - Posing!
All in all, it was a wonderful trip. Family, work, made some money at an amazing event. Life is good.
Now on to baseball. I decided that I will cheer for another team this week. I'm not sure if I will blog about it, but I will definitely keep you updated. I decided to roll with the Phillies. The reason why, I want to eat a cheese steak ASAP. So, I decided that if I ate a cheese steak I was half way there to being a Phillies fan. Plus, they play the Dodgers and since I'm anti Dodgers right now, what better way than to cheer for the Phillies. Halladay had another strong outing and the Dodgers had another weak one. It was a nice bounce back win and we've now won 9 out of our last 10. Cliff Lee takes the mound tonight against Ted Lilly. Ted was on the Cubs for a while, and I think he was on the team the last time they won a World Series. You might want to check on that, but if he wasn't, then they added him a season or two afterwards. Anyhoot, I look for Cliff to give up one or two runs max. I hope Kemp hits a homer as he is on my fantasy team, but other than that, I look for the dodgers to lose again tonight. Sidenote: I need a Tastykakes fruit pie. I leave you with this. Philly's finest...
And the reminder - Bitch, I'm Back!!!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Day 68 - Yankees Day #2
June 7th – Today marks the first day of my true Yankee fan-ship. But, first and foremost, today is my girlfriend’s birthday. She will be, well, she will be. She may be reading this later and so I won’t get into detail about how old she is. She is truly me best friend. However, she is more than just that. Simply put, she is my everything. The words of a card or poem or song can never really do her justice. I mean, it would take a Hallmark card the length of a novel to put to words how I feel. She’s my soul mate and I love her dearly! Happy Birthday Elbie…
Los Jankees - I’m not sure if I’m excited or not. It’s kind of like the first day at a new school. It’s not like a 10 year old showing up to the first day of school ready to rule the 5th grade. I’m not going to be able to see all of the same friends and just walk around the playground with a chip on my shoulder. No, this is different. It’s like the first day of a new school, in a new city, with no friends. Well, I have a couple of friends that are darkside dwellers, and they could probably ease me in. I won’t feel like Danny LaRusso did, but I will still be a little nervous. I mean, I have no idea what to expect. Is it true that I can walk up to someone, anyone, ANYWHERE, with a Red sox hat on and basically shit on him? I don’t have to be at a game, or a bar watching the game? As a pending Dodger fan, I’ve taken part in getting in a Giants’ or Padres’ fan’s face. I’ve yelled at toddlers while atop their daddy’s shoulders for rocking the Angels garb(age) at our beloved stadium. But, I’ve been told that I could be in confession at church, spot a guy through the dark curtains with a Boston hat on and just verbally assault him. Sounds like I’m already warming up to the fact that the Bronx Bombers are it this week…
Today, we open a three game set against, well, the Dead Sox. Boston pansies with no class and a “once in every 100 years” world champ percentage. Big Sloppy, Kevin BOO-kalis and the rest of the boys come into town to start 10 games in 10 days at Yankee Stadium. Luckily for the Dead Sox fans, I only have 6 more days to go. So, you’ll only have to tuck those caps for a few more days losers. But, best believe, if I see a “B” on someone’s hat, they’re going to hear it. I don’t care if it’s for the Dead Sox, the Bruins (either), Baylor or Bolles HS. If it’s a “B”, you’re catching a tongue lashing.
Sidenotes/rants: Last night, I watched the most ridiculous thing to ever hit television. No, not when the dude blew his brain out on top of the 105 overpass. That was more entertaining. I remember when we used to go get 29 cent hamburgers on Wednesday from McDonalds (twenty of them which we would pay for in change) and go to Amelia and watch that shit over and over again. NO! It was not seeing some car crash or tornado or footage of some natural disaster. It wasn’t another police brutality video or a story about parents killing their babies. It was worse. I know you must be thinking what could be worse than some of those things I listed. Well, this is. I ranked this #1 on my craziest shit I’ve seen on TV. Beating out these two…
#3 – Mark Hominick’s head/face after his bout with Jose Aldo…
What can you say but “COT DAMN!”
#2 – Marisol’s mom on Real Housewives of Miami
This hag looks like a Monster. It’s like she has a permanent condition that eats her alive daily called “Botched-alism”. She’s a walking money back guarantee. (please don’t try and click to zoom)
#1…DRUMROLL…I’m talking “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”. These people are ridiculous. Not only are they living in trailers or “caravans” which they are about to lose (is it foreclosure or repossession), but they go out and have these over the top weddings that include 200 pound dresses with lights and electronic moving butterflies on them. You have to watch it to understand how ridiculous this really is. Some of the dresses look like they came straight out of Drai’s in Las Vegas on Halloween weekend.
Watch the show, you will feel better about yourself after. Similar to how you feel after watching “The Wonderful Whites of West Virginia”
I leave you on this note:
It’s one of those days…
Los Jankees - I’m not sure if I’m excited or not. It’s kind of like the first day at a new school. It’s not like a 10 year old showing up to the first day of school ready to rule the 5th grade. I’m not going to be able to see all of the same friends and just walk around the playground with a chip on my shoulder. No, this is different. It’s like the first day of a new school, in a new city, with no friends. Well, I have a couple of friends that are darkside dwellers, and they could probably ease me in. I won’t feel like Danny LaRusso did, but I will still be a little nervous. I mean, I have no idea what to expect. Is it true that I can walk up to someone, anyone, ANYWHERE, with a Red sox hat on and basically shit on him? I don’t have to be at a game, or a bar watching the game? As a pending Dodger fan, I’ve taken part in getting in a Giants’ or Padres’ fan’s face. I’ve yelled at toddlers while atop their daddy’s shoulders for rocking the Angels garb(age) at our beloved stadium. But, I’ve been told that I could be in confession at church, spot a guy through the dark curtains with a Boston hat on and just verbally assault him. Sounds like I’m already warming up to the fact that the Bronx Bombers are it this week…
Today, we open a three game set against, well, the Dead Sox. Boston pansies with no class and a “once in every 100 years” world champ percentage. Big Sloppy, Kevin BOO-kalis and the rest of the boys come into town to start 10 games in 10 days at Yankee Stadium. Luckily for the Dead Sox fans, I only have 6 more days to go. So, you’ll only have to tuck those caps for a few more days losers. But, best believe, if I see a “B” on someone’s hat, they’re going to hear it. I don’t care if it’s for the Dead Sox, the Bruins (either), Baylor or Bolles HS. If it’s a “B”, you’re catching a tongue lashing.
Sidenotes/rants: Last night, I watched the most ridiculous thing to ever hit television. No, not when the dude blew his brain out on top of the 105 overpass. That was more entertaining. I remember when we used to go get 29 cent hamburgers on Wednesday from McDonalds (twenty of them which we would pay for in change) and go to Amelia and watch that shit over and over again. NO! It was not seeing some car crash or tornado or footage of some natural disaster. It wasn’t another police brutality video or a story about parents killing their babies. It was worse. I know you must be thinking what could be worse than some of those things I listed. Well, this is. I ranked this #1 on my craziest shit I’ve seen on TV. Beating out these two…
#3 – Mark Hominick’s head/face after his bout with Jose Aldo…
What can you say but “COT DAMN!”
#2 – Marisol’s mom on Real Housewives of Miami
This hag looks like a Monster. It’s like she has a permanent condition that eats her alive daily called “Botched-alism”. She’s a walking money back guarantee. (please don’t try and click to zoom)
#1…DRUMROLL…I’m talking “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”. These people are ridiculous. Not only are they living in trailers or “caravans” which they are about to lose (is it foreclosure or repossession), but they go out and have these over the top weddings that include 200 pound dresses with lights and electronic moving butterflies on them. You have to watch it to understand how ridiculous this really is. Some of the dresses look like they came straight out of Drai’s in Las Vegas on Halloween weekend.
Watch the show, you will feel better about yourself after. Similar to how you feel after watching “The Wonderful Whites of West Virginia”
I leave you on this note:
It’s one of those days…
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Day 989834
So, I know it’s been a while, and for good reason. I mean, quite simply put, I have been bored with baseball. Plus, the sheer fact of cheering for the darkside was reason enough to find other things to do with my time. There was TPC in early May. Anyone could tell you that I absolutely love that course and love that tournament. There were a bunch of movies releasing that me and my girl saw (four in may alone). All in all, I just found other things to do than write this blog. But, I figured it was time to write again. I was inspired by my friend’s wife. She posted her blog update to Facebook about her SuperMom self. After reading it, I felt like I should write something today. So, here I am.
The “Mom”trepeneur - First of all, let me give praise to my friend’s wife. My friend “L” is “almost common law” married to “SM” (super mom). They have two kids. Two adorable kids at that. Anyhow, she often gives us updates about what she is working on for parties and activities. See, she makes custom piñatas for kids parties and they are the dopest piñatas I’ve ever seen (as far as kid’s piñatas go. I’ve seen some adult themed ones that were pretty effin fresh). Anyhow, this girl gets down. It seems like every day has an update about what she is doing for these kids and I admire her for that. I even read her blog about being a super mom. I have no kids, yet. But, I still find her blog to be informative and entertaining. If you get a chance, check out her page HERE. Pretty sweet piñatas.
TPC - In true Jacksonville fashion, the weather the week before the tournament was amazing. 70’s during the day and low 60’s at night with a cool breeze. Then, right before the tournament, it got hot as fuck. I mean, really hot. Last year I made it to all the practice days, which is the highlight of the tournament to me. Pictures and autographs all day long. This year was no different. I made it to all the practice days. I got a few highlight pieces signed. My 2011 Masters flag signed by winner Charl Schwartzel. I got my 2010 US open Pebble Beach flag signed by winner Graeme McDowell. I also got my 2010 PGA Championship flag signed by winner Martin Kaymer. Before he signed that, he signed a ball that he was using and handed it to me. So, for me, complete success. The only thing I didn’t get signed was my 2010 Masters flag. Oh Phil, how I hate you so… anyhow, I even got a tourney day in as I went to see Tiger play the 9th, and then he was done. He’s starting to act like a little spoiled child. Face it dude, you just ain’t as good as you were a few years ago. Maybe you are that good, but everyone is better now. I don’t know, but what I do know is you need to get your shit together and start playing golf and having fun. Sorry for the rant, but I had enough. I shifted my golf fan-ship to Kaymer for the fact that he gave me a ball. A simple gesture and all of a sudden he had the dude at the tournament with the best kicks on, and most gangsta attitude, in his corner.
Movies – I joined this movie pool and quickly became this year’s bonehead picking Priest to finish in the Top 10. It had so much going for it. Maggie Q and her recent mainstream success (Nikita). 3D film about vampires that was rated PG-13. They marketed that movie since Jackass #d (when I first saw the trailer). I thought it was a lock. Instead, it got beat out by Bridesmaids. Hell, I didn’t even go see it after the opening weekend reviews. But, I did manage to see four flicks. Fast 5 was surprisingly pretty darn good. A lot of action and a really good plot. I would recommend that movie to anyone really. Thor was good as well. It was better than I thought it would be. It kept me entertained and I would download it (for free) when the BluRay rip hit newsgroups. Hangover 2 was a fuckin blast. I am planning on seeing it again in theatres. I was rolling for two hours straight. Pirates 4 was the least favorite of these 4. Just another Pirates movie with cool costumes and scenery. I’m not a Penelope Cruz fan so her voice got annoying really quick. There are a few more movies I want to see this summer and will update you with how I think they are.
Anyway, as you can see I just delayed the blog again. I totally got sidetracked. However, this week, starting tomorrow, I will be a full-fledged Yankee fan. I’m not sure if they want me or not, but I don’t care what they want. Let me work on being a rude New Yawker. This ought to be interesting. Hopefully, I have readers left. I know I was up to about 6 people following the blog but kind of let em all hanging. Stay tuned folks. There is much more profanity to come.
EDIT: I forgot to tell you about my trip to the Farmer’s Market. It wasn’t like the ones in L.A. Those tend to focus more on the entertainment and prepared foods than it does the local produce, but this one here was different. It was all about local ingredients and it was for sure that peaches were in season. You could smell the fresh peaches throughout the whole market. I picked up chiles and peppers to make chili verde and boy it came out great. Tomatillos and green chiles highlighted my buy. My girl picked up some sweet mangoes and I had one for the first time and it was AMAZING. I want to try and go once a week to pick up fresh ingredients to make something on Sunday nights. Anyhow, this is what I created, at midnight…
I leave you on this note as I pay homage to Sunday nights with Huggy Boy…
“This is dedicated to my man Flaco. I can’t wait to see you when you get home (from jail). I miss you baby and can’t wait to have your baby (even though I’m 15 and you’re 30).” At least that’s how I heard the dedications…
The “Mom”trepeneur - First of all, let me give praise to my friend’s wife. My friend “L” is “almost common law” married to “SM” (super mom). They have two kids. Two adorable kids at that. Anyhow, she often gives us updates about what she is working on for parties and activities. See, she makes custom piñatas for kids parties and they are the dopest piñatas I’ve ever seen (as far as kid’s piñatas go. I’ve seen some adult themed ones that were pretty effin fresh). Anyhow, this girl gets down. It seems like every day has an update about what she is doing for these kids and I admire her for that. I even read her blog about being a super mom. I have no kids, yet. But, I still find her blog to be informative and entertaining. If you get a chance, check out her page HERE. Pretty sweet piñatas.
TPC - In true Jacksonville fashion, the weather the week before the tournament was amazing. 70’s during the day and low 60’s at night with a cool breeze. Then, right before the tournament, it got hot as fuck. I mean, really hot. Last year I made it to all the practice days, which is the highlight of the tournament to me. Pictures and autographs all day long. This year was no different. I made it to all the practice days. I got a few highlight pieces signed. My 2011 Masters flag signed by winner Charl Schwartzel. I got my 2010 US open Pebble Beach flag signed by winner Graeme McDowell. I also got my 2010 PGA Championship flag signed by winner Martin Kaymer. Before he signed that, he signed a ball that he was using and handed it to me. So, for me, complete success. The only thing I didn’t get signed was my 2010 Masters flag. Oh Phil, how I hate you so… anyhow, I even got a tourney day in as I went to see Tiger play the 9th, and then he was done. He’s starting to act like a little spoiled child. Face it dude, you just ain’t as good as you were a few years ago. Maybe you are that good, but everyone is better now. I don’t know, but what I do know is you need to get your shit together and start playing golf and having fun. Sorry for the rant, but I had enough. I shifted my golf fan-ship to Kaymer for the fact that he gave me a ball. A simple gesture and all of a sudden he had the dude at the tournament with the best kicks on, and most gangsta attitude, in his corner.
Movies – I joined this movie pool and quickly became this year’s bonehead picking Priest to finish in the Top 10. It had so much going for it. Maggie Q and her recent mainstream success (Nikita). 3D film about vampires that was rated PG-13. They marketed that movie since Jackass #d (when I first saw the trailer). I thought it was a lock. Instead, it got beat out by Bridesmaids. Hell, I didn’t even go see it after the opening weekend reviews. But, I did manage to see four flicks. Fast 5 was surprisingly pretty darn good. A lot of action and a really good plot. I would recommend that movie to anyone really. Thor was good as well. It was better than I thought it would be. It kept me entertained and I would download it (for free) when the BluRay rip hit newsgroups. Hangover 2 was a fuckin blast. I am planning on seeing it again in theatres. I was rolling for two hours straight. Pirates 4 was the least favorite of these 4. Just another Pirates movie with cool costumes and scenery. I’m not a Penelope Cruz fan so her voice got annoying really quick. There are a few more movies I want to see this summer and will update you with how I think they are.
Anyway, as you can see I just delayed the blog again. I totally got sidetracked. However, this week, starting tomorrow, I will be a full-fledged Yankee fan. I’m not sure if they want me or not, but I don’t care what they want. Let me work on being a rude New Yawker. This ought to be interesting. Hopefully, I have readers left. I know I was up to about 6 people following the blog but kind of let em all hanging. Stay tuned folks. There is much more profanity to come.
EDIT: I forgot to tell you about my trip to the Farmer’s Market. It wasn’t like the ones in L.A. Those tend to focus more on the entertainment and prepared foods than it does the local produce, but this one here was different. It was all about local ingredients and it was for sure that peaches were in season. You could smell the fresh peaches throughout the whole market. I picked up chiles and peppers to make chili verde and boy it came out great. Tomatillos and green chiles highlighted my buy. My girl picked up some sweet mangoes and I had one for the first time and it was AMAZING. I want to try and go once a week to pick up fresh ingredients to make something on Sunday nights. Anyhow, this is what I created, at midnight…
I leave you on this note as I pay homage to Sunday nights with Huggy Boy…
“This is dedicated to my man Flaco. I can’t wait to see you when you get home (from jail). I miss you baby and can’t wait to have your baby (even though I’m 15 and you’re 30).” At least that’s how I heard the dedications…
Monday, May 9, 2011
Day 39...Untitled...
Unmotivated. That's the story today kids. BOS finished up the weekend 2-1 and 4-3 for the week. I thought I would be more jazzed up about it...Truth is, I'm almost over baseball until August. Like every year, baseball is exciting at first, then the NBA playoffs just take over your television whether you like it or not. My boys got swept by the Dallas Mavericks and you know what, I can't and won't say shit about it. They flat out played better ball than we did. Better shooting, better bench and Phil got out coached by Carlisle. HOLD UP A MINUTE. I'm going to go live and let you know how I really feel, right this very moment. About 30 seconds ago I received a fantasy baseball trade request. It is for my only rotisserie format league. It was also an auction league. I get a trade offer from this guy that ripped me for paying $10 for Jaime Garcia who he claims is a $2 pitcher. Of course, this fucker wants none other than Jaime Garcia along with Kyle Lohse. Both guys are pitching out of their minds right now and probably won't be able to keep up all year long. however, I think that St. Louis will win close to 100 games. So, after he asks why I rejected his offer I tell this guy that 1) I can't trade two of my starters, both from St. Louis for two OF (Jason Heyward and Jeff Francoeur) because I would have to pick up two SP on the waiver line and those run thin in a 12 team league and 2) FUCK YOU because you tried to talk shit about me paying $10 for Jaime Garcia. He replies that I don't know anything about baseball. He then adds that he has been watching baseball since "the day he was born" and could run off every stat known to man about any player since he was born in 1993. I obviously laughed and told him to go fuck himself. He replies "Give me a year and a player and I will give you their stats for the year." so, after I ROFLMAO I responded back and let him know of this invention that made him reading my insults possible called "the internet" and told him I could one up him and come up with anyones stats EVER for ANY year. But I gave him just one number. #616. I told him to look up that along with 1989 fleer and to read the end of the bat. After that, apply what the bat says to the end of my comments. I'm waiting for him to ask me why I'm asking him to add a "black box" to the end of every comment. for those of you that don't know, 1989 Fleer #616 is Billy Ripken. On the end of his bat, on the knob,it says "Fuck Face". Anyhow, guys like that get on my nerves. They make fantasy such a drag. You know, I don't like your trade. I don't want to accept it. Deal with it. Don't let me know that you know more about baseball than I do when you don't know what I know. Kids these days.
Anyway, since we're talking about baseball and since we're talking numbers. I figured I'd dip into the number of championships teams have won. An no one has won more than the Darkside. The Bronx Bombers, the Evil Empire...The motherfuckin Yankees are my team this week. I figured I would go Red Sox, Yankees then Mets...I hope I can keep up with the Yanks. I had pizza already so I'm already 1 for 1 with the food. Food possibilities are endless. I can be rude all week, drive like shit and complain about everything. New Yorkers are so negative. Even if you're not from there but move there. you become this black hole of complaints sucking the life out of those that pretend to listen to you. I can't wait to be that instead of being forced to listen to it. Yankees fan #1 does not fall under the stereotypes that I have pointed out above. all of these stereotypes are just my opinion, and though have been depicted in film for years and scientifically proven, do not fall under the category as fact.
I leave you on this note...Westcoast baby!
Anyway, since we're talking about baseball and since we're talking numbers. I figured I'd dip into the number of championships teams have won. An no one has won more than the Darkside. The Bronx Bombers, the Evil Empire...The motherfuckin Yankees are my team this week. I figured I would go Red Sox, Yankees then Mets...I hope I can keep up with the Yanks. I had pizza already so I'm already 1 for 1 with the food. Food possibilities are endless. I can be rude all week, drive like shit and complain about everything. New Yorkers are so negative. Even if you're not from there but move there. you become this black hole of complaints sucking the life out of those that pretend to listen to you. I can't wait to be that instead of being forced to listen to it. Yankees fan #1 does not fall under the stereotypes that I have pointed out above. all of these stereotypes are just my opinion, and though have been depicted in film for years and scientifically proven, do not fall under the category as fact.
I leave you on this note...Westcoast baby!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Day 35...Jinx
I'm starting to believe my jinx theory. See, every time I start to write about a team, things start to go as planned. Then, as soon as I get too confident, and start writing about the ass whoopings we will be dealing out, the tables turn. I should just keep my mouth shut, but truth is, I like to talk shit. If you know me at all, you know I will take every opportunity I can to talk shit. I don't care what the occasion is, I will say something if the situation allows. Sometimes, I take the NSFNG at work and nothing to say to him at all. So, I simply tell him to shut the fuck up. everyone laughs and we move on. Thus, if we're winning or beating you down, I will take the opp to tell you how bad it's gonna be and how much you suck ass. I won't be such an asshole to kick you when you're down (most of the time), but i will be right there to point and laugh when you fall, assuming you're ok.
So, that being said, even though we lost last night after a long rain delay. I am here to talk shit. The score is currently 11-0 and we're facing a two game skid. But, I'm going to talk shit. Now, I can accept defeat, and I will admit when we got our asses handed to us. Today is one of those days. So, I have to talk shit about something. Today, I choose to talk shit about two of the biggest assholes I have ever seen. And no, I am not talking about the McCourts. I am talking about Phil Mickelson and Ron Artest. These guys have nothing to do with the Red Sox, but they are on my list of current assholes who must win my respect.
We'll start with Lefty. I have never been a fan of Phil. I usually am a sucker for left handed golfers. They never had it easy. Golf courses just weren't designed for lefties at all. Then, technology took over and for a while there golf courses weren't designed for pros. now, they make the necessary changes so that length isn't everything. Anyhow, Phil, the lefty has never had it easy. what he does have is the looks, the game and the bag of tricks that is second to no other golfer. I'm not sure why I started hating Phil, or when I began to despise the guy. I just knew I did. then when Tiger's dominance started to take place it became a simple rivalry. USC-UCLA. Dodgers-Angels. Chevy-Ford. There was Tiger-Phil. My father said we were Tiger people. the line was drawn there. Then I had my brother who is the biggest Phil dick rider ever. i had to hear about how he was better than tiger, though another thing Phil never possessed was the World #1 ranking. A ranking Tiger held 623 weeks of his life. I will say this though. Phil could one day hold that ranking. I do not believe Tiger will ever hold that ranking again. Anyway, constantly hearing about him made things worse. Then there was the whole 2009 Players. I had recently acquired a 2007 Masters flag, a year in which Lefty won. It was for my brother and I was going home a few weeks later. So, I decided to sit out and wait for Phil to sign my flag. i didn't think it would be a big deal. He was a golfer. He wasn't "Tiger Woods" great, but a great golfer indeed. Boy, there was a huge amount of people waiting and I was in front. Me, Phillies fan #1 and Terp fan/player #1 were right there. Here he came. Sharpie in hand. He looks at the crowd and says i don't sign balls. Great, I had a flag, a Masters flag for a year he won. i was in. So, he starts to get closer and I genuinely get excited. I'm excited that my brother, Bud Light fan #1, was going to get a 2007 masters flag with Phil's ink on it. I was goin' apeshit. Here he comes. Two people away from me. Right next to me, on my left. Then without hesitation, he looks me in the eye, shoots me a quick half smile, reaches for the hat behind me and signs it. It was Terp fan/player #1's hat. I go to hand him my flag as it was now my turn and before I could even ask him, he is right next to me, except to my right side. Within 60 seconds, he is ten people away and fading. I can't even hear him joke with the crowd. But, he makes his way back towards us. He's here and I just know he forgot about my flag and was making his way back. He gets right in front of me. His DNA being breathed onto my flag, and he walks by me again. I look at Phillies fan #1 and he too got snubbed. Phil looks right at us and says "That's it everyone. I'm done." I had to hold back. I was pretty close to jumping the gate and shanking his ass with his fuckin' Sharpie. I couldn't fuckin' believe it. This guy that he was better than me. this left handed golfer thought he could diss me like that. I walked away and had some rough things to say about him. Fast forward 350 days. TPC 2010 was coming up and I had a game plan. I was going to order the same hat he wears with the pink ribbon on the side. I was going to ask him to sign it. I figured he would have to sign it. Maybe he thought we would just sell the Masters flags and passed on us. So, the hat was my plan B. I go to order the hat and get to the checkout window and fins that you have to be a fuckin' KPMG employee to order it. I immediately hate HIM again. So, we get to the tourney and we see him and he won't sign anyone that wasn't a hot chick or under the age of 12. This guy is larger than life on the tour. I'll admit I asked Stevie for an autograph, not even Tiger, and he declined as well. anyhow, this is the last year I will attempt to get a Phil autograph. I will go through many great lengths to get it this yr. I have plans C-Z this year. If I end up without a Phil auto, i will forever despise this motherfucker!
Ron Ron. Where do I start with this guy? I didn't hate him when he attacked the fan in Detroit. I didn't even dislike him when he was in HOU and gave us a run for our money. In fact, i couldn't wait to try and land him on the team. Then we get him last year and he has this great Twitter story about him finding a family in L.A. that he could hang out with. He saves us in OKC on Kobe's airball. He even drains some 3's to clinch the ring for us. then I hear the first thing I hated. He sold his championship ring. now, it was for a good cause, but c'mon man. Your championship ring. to me, that was a slap in the face of the Lakers' organization. Then the 2010-11 season happened. this guy just flat our drove me insane. He has that 'lame kid" syndrome that just gets it in his head that as soon as he gets the touch, he's puttin' it up. Alan Kordich syndrome. The only thing missing is his dad yelling "Pass it to Ron!" Anyhow, I think he cost us Game 1 against DAL. We're up 16 and he feels the need to start jackin' up shots from all over the court. That 16 point lead dwindled away as every miss turned into a basket for DAL and Dirk-a-Dirk. His stupid decisions are just becoming a bit much. His pimp slap of JJ Barea, landing him a 1 Game 3 suspension, was the last straw. Who knows, maybe we needed the spark. But, if things turn out the way I think they will. I will forever enshrine him as another asshole that must go.
Anyhow, I ranted and got the shit of my chest...I leave you with this. I found this song on World Star. It doesn't fit into what I wrote but this track is just fire to me...
So, that being said, even though we lost last night after a long rain delay. I am here to talk shit. The score is currently 11-0 and we're facing a two game skid. But, I'm going to talk shit. Now, I can accept defeat, and I will admit when we got our asses handed to us. Today is one of those days. So, I have to talk shit about something. Today, I choose to talk shit about two of the biggest assholes I have ever seen. And no, I am not talking about the McCourts. I am talking about Phil Mickelson and Ron Artest. These guys have nothing to do with the Red Sox, but they are on my list of current assholes who must win my respect.
We'll start with Lefty. I have never been a fan of Phil. I usually am a sucker for left handed golfers. They never had it easy. Golf courses just weren't designed for lefties at all. Then, technology took over and for a while there golf courses weren't designed for pros. now, they make the necessary changes so that length isn't everything. Anyhow, Phil, the lefty has never had it easy. what he does have is the looks, the game and the bag of tricks that is second to no other golfer. I'm not sure why I started hating Phil, or when I began to despise the guy. I just knew I did. then when Tiger's dominance started to take place it became a simple rivalry. USC-UCLA. Dodgers-Angels. Chevy-Ford. There was Tiger-Phil. My father said we were Tiger people. the line was drawn there. Then I had my brother who is the biggest Phil dick rider ever. i had to hear about how he was better than tiger, though another thing Phil never possessed was the World #1 ranking. A ranking Tiger held 623 weeks of his life. I will say this though. Phil could one day hold that ranking. I do not believe Tiger will ever hold that ranking again. Anyway, constantly hearing about him made things worse. Then there was the whole 2009 Players. I had recently acquired a 2007 Masters flag, a year in which Lefty won. It was for my brother and I was going home a few weeks later. So, I decided to sit out and wait for Phil to sign my flag. i didn't think it would be a big deal. He was a golfer. He wasn't "Tiger Woods" great, but a great golfer indeed. Boy, there was a huge amount of people waiting and I was in front. Me, Phillies fan #1 and Terp fan/player #1 were right there. Here he came. Sharpie in hand. He looks at the crowd and says i don't sign balls. Great, I had a flag, a Masters flag for a year he won. i was in. So, he starts to get closer and I genuinely get excited. I'm excited that my brother, Bud Light fan #1, was going to get a 2007 masters flag with Phil's ink on it. I was goin' apeshit. Here he comes. Two people away from me. Right next to me, on my left. Then without hesitation, he looks me in the eye, shoots me a quick half smile, reaches for the hat behind me and signs it. It was Terp fan/player #1's hat. I go to hand him my flag as it was now my turn and before I could even ask him, he is right next to me, except to my right side. Within 60 seconds, he is ten people away and fading. I can't even hear him joke with the crowd. But, he makes his way back towards us. He's here and I just know he forgot about my flag and was making his way back. He gets right in front of me. His DNA being breathed onto my flag, and he walks by me again. I look at Phillies fan #1 and he too got snubbed. Phil looks right at us and says "That's it everyone. I'm done." I had to hold back. I was pretty close to jumping the gate and shanking his ass with his fuckin' Sharpie. I couldn't fuckin' believe it. This guy that he was better than me. this left handed golfer thought he could diss me like that. I walked away and had some rough things to say about him. Fast forward 350 days. TPC 2010 was coming up and I had a game plan. I was going to order the same hat he wears with the pink ribbon on the side. I was going to ask him to sign it. I figured he would have to sign it. Maybe he thought we would just sell the Masters flags and passed on us. So, the hat was my plan B. I go to order the hat and get to the checkout window and fins that you have to be a fuckin' KPMG employee to order it. I immediately hate HIM again. So, we get to the tourney and we see him and he won't sign anyone that wasn't a hot chick or under the age of 12. This guy is larger than life on the tour. I'll admit I asked Stevie for an autograph, not even Tiger, and he declined as well. anyhow, this is the last year I will attempt to get a Phil autograph. I will go through many great lengths to get it this yr. I have plans C-Z this year. If I end up without a Phil auto, i will forever despise this motherfucker!
Ron Ron. Where do I start with this guy? I didn't hate him when he attacked the fan in Detroit. I didn't even dislike him when he was in HOU and gave us a run for our money. In fact, i couldn't wait to try and land him on the team. Then we get him last year and he has this great Twitter story about him finding a family in L.A. that he could hang out with. He saves us in OKC on Kobe's airball. He even drains some 3's to clinch the ring for us. then I hear the first thing I hated. He sold his championship ring. now, it was for a good cause, but c'mon man. Your championship ring. to me, that was a slap in the face of the Lakers' organization. Then the 2010-11 season happened. this guy just flat our drove me insane. He has that 'lame kid" syndrome that just gets it in his head that as soon as he gets the touch, he's puttin' it up. Alan Kordich syndrome. The only thing missing is his dad yelling "Pass it to Ron!" Anyhow, I think he cost us Game 1 against DAL. We're up 16 and he feels the need to start jackin' up shots from all over the court. That 16 point lead dwindled away as every miss turned into a basket for DAL and Dirk-a-Dirk. His stupid decisions are just becoming a bit much. His pimp slap of JJ Barea, landing him a 1 Game 3 suspension, was the last straw. Who knows, maybe we needed the spark. But, if things turn out the way I think they will. I will forever enshrine him as another asshole that must go.
Anyhow, I ranted and got the shit of my chest...I leave you with this. I found this song on World Star. It doesn't fit into what I wrote but this track is just fire to me...
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Day 34..Quatro de Mayo...
So, I’ve been way too busy being a Bostonian to realize that I haven’t updated this blog. So, here I am. The Red Sox got lucky and drew the Angels as the first of two series this week. They have already swept them earlier this year in Anaheim. Anaheim happens to be in Orange County. So, why are they called the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? Well, it’s all marketing. How can you market the Orange County Angels? How would you sell the Anaheim Angels? Oh wait, they tried that and no one showed up. Why didn’t they stick with the California Angels? Why don’t they try the Disneyland Angels? They would instantly become little kids’ favorite team. They only thing selling out of Orange County are the Housewives. Anyhow, it’s no wonder we beat ‘em six times this year already.
As I just mentioned, we beat them four teams earlier this season in Anaheim. Tonight, we play game three of another four game set. We outscored them 20-5 in the first four games in Anaheim. Through these two at Fenway, we’ve outscored them 16-8. I expect the same thing tonight. We have Beckett going tonight who has been OK this year. He hasn’t got much run support and his ERA is 2.65 on the year. He’s 2 and 1 and will soon be 3 and 1. He’s pitching against Santana who has been less than stellar this year, and I look for us to not only win tonight, but wrap another 4 game sweep of the Halos.
My foodie-ship for Boston has gotten off to a slow start. I’ve been trying to watch my diet. I will definitely go have some chowder tomorrow before I head out to work. I got a comment from my only documented follower. One of the statements was that Manhattan chowder was better than New England’s version. Though I absolutely love New England’s version, I must agree with Toon. I definitely enjoy the Manhattn chowder when matched up against the New England chowder. I love red broth. What can I say? Anyhow, I thought about some lobster rolls which can be considered more of a New England thing. Anyhow, truth is, I must match my weight and I must watch my sugar. So, I will throw something in the diet to satisfy my Boston soul, but I can’t indulge as much as I’d like to.
It’s the bottom half og the second inning and there is still no score. I thought for sure it would be wide open already. Any second now, the score will be a lot to a little. Until then, I leave you on this note…
As I just mentioned, we beat them four teams earlier this season in Anaheim. Tonight, we play game three of another four game set. We outscored them 20-5 in the first four games in Anaheim. Through these two at Fenway, we’ve outscored them 16-8. I expect the same thing tonight. We have Beckett going tonight who has been OK this year. He hasn’t got much run support and his ERA is 2.65 on the year. He’s 2 and 1 and will soon be 3 and 1. He’s pitching against Santana who has been less than stellar this year, and I look for us to not only win tonight, but wrap another 4 game sweep of the Halos.
My foodie-ship for Boston has gotten off to a slow start. I’ve been trying to watch my diet. I will definitely go have some chowder tomorrow before I head out to work. I got a comment from my only documented follower. One of the statements was that Manhattan chowder was better than New England’s version. Though I absolutely love New England’s version, I must agree with Toon. I definitely enjoy the Manhattn chowder when matched up against the New England chowder. I love red broth. What can I say? Anyhow, I thought about some lobster rolls which can be considered more of a New England thing. Anyhow, truth is, I must match my weight and I must watch my sugar. So, I will throw something in the diet to satisfy my Boston soul, but I can’t indulge as much as I’d like to.
It’s the bottom half og the second inning and there is still no score. I thought for sure it would be wide open already. Any second now, the score will be a lot to a little. Until then, I leave you on this note…
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Day 31 - Strange Brew...
First of all, I am extremely excited that my run with Milwaukee is over. What a horrible team. Talented, but they just have a hard time winning ball games. They finished the week 2-4. They won 5-0 on Friday night behind more solo shots, but lost Saturday and Sunday. IF I would have played the pool, I sure wouldn’t have picked them. But if I did, I would have been out. I heard from a credible source that half of the field is out already. It really is a tough pool. My brother, Yankees fan #1 runs great pools. If you are interested, too bad. If I haven’t invited you already, I probably never will.
Anyhow, I went ahead and closed the voting out and my team is…WAIT FOR IT…WAIT FOR IT…the Boston Red Sox. I am extremely excited to cover them this week. I can’t wait to dive into Beantown. The food, the culture, the love for Tom Brady (had to throw that one in there), the attitude, the absolute hate for the Yankees (at least this week as things will change next week as they become my team) and lastly, the food. I know I said it twice, but I am excited about the food part. I have to take it easy because I am trying, or “trying”, to watch what I eat. Seafood galore. First thing is some chowder. I know just the spot for that here in Jacksonville. For some reason, I absolutely love the chowder from Singleton’s. Creamy, hearty and full of goodness.
There are some things about Boston I will not indulge in. First thing is the accent. I just can’t live with the accent. I had to stop watching The Town because the accent was a bit much. Second thing is the Celtics. I refuse to ever, and I mean EVER, cheer for those bastards. All you Boston fans, work with me here. You have to understand the hatred I possess for them. The thought of me rooting for them makes me sick. If that’s your team, more power to you because if so, you hate my team. The last thing I can’t do is the marathon. For obvious reasons such as nicotine addiction, my ongoing battle with obesity and the fact that the only time I run is when “out of breath” follows those words. I’m actually lying because I have been running a little bit at the gym, but it makes for a better satirical plotline.
So, stay tuned this week. I promise I will be more inspired. I will finish The Town, and I will stomach the accent along with a few bowls of chowder. I will try and run 10% of the marathon collectively during the week. Hell, I might even cheer for the Celtics as long as the line permits me to do so. I’m thinking of taking advantage of the gift us degenerates will get with the price being just right to fire on ‘em in Game 3 against Miami next Saturday. The NBA threw them a bone giving them a full three days off before heading home to host the Heat in Game 3. All I know is, I am fucking excited. Go Patriots! And Let’s go Red Sox…
I leave you with this…
Anyhow, I went ahead and closed the voting out and my team is…WAIT FOR IT…WAIT FOR IT…the Boston Red Sox. I am extremely excited to cover them this week. I can’t wait to dive into Beantown. The food, the culture, the love for Tom Brady (had to throw that one in there), the attitude, the absolute hate for the Yankees (at least this week as things will change next week as they become my team) and lastly, the food. I know I said it twice, but I am excited about the food part. I have to take it easy because I am trying, or “trying”, to watch what I eat. Seafood galore. First thing is some chowder. I know just the spot for that here in Jacksonville. For some reason, I absolutely love the chowder from Singleton’s. Creamy, hearty and full of goodness.
There are some things about Boston I will not indulge in. First thing is the accent. I just can’t live with the accent. I had to stop watching The Town because the accent was a bit much. Second thing is the Celtics. I refuse to ever, and I mean EVER, cheer for those bastards. All you Boston fans, work with me here. You have to understand the hatred I possess for them. The thought of me rooting for them makes me sick. If that’s your team, more power to you because if so, you hate my team. The last thing I can’t do is the marathon. For obvious reasons such as nicotine addiction, my ongoing battle with obesity and the fact that the only time I run is when “out of breath” follows those words. I’m actually lying because I have been running a little bit at the gym, but it makes for a better satirical plotline.
So, stay tuned this week. I promise I will be more inspired. I will finish The Town, and I will stomach the accent along with a few bowls of chowder. I will try and run 10% of the marathon collectively during the week. Hell, I might even cheer for the Celtics as long as the line permits me to do so. I’m thinking of taking advantage of the gift us degenerates will get with the price being just right to fire on ‘em in Game 3 against Miami next Saturday. The NBA threw them a bone giving them a full three days off before heading home to host the Heat in Game 3. All I know is, I am fucking excited. Go Patriots! And Let’s go Red Sox…
I leave you with this…
Friday, April 29, 2011
Day 29 - Brew(ers) Ha Ha!!!
So, my Brewers are 1-2 this week. I last left you on Monday not so excited about the Brew Crew as my team this week. Let me tell you, NOTHING HAS CHANGED. They are so uninspiring. Milwaukee just doesn’t seem like an exciting place to live. I roamed the web and the forums and the blogs and every possible nook and cranny that the interwebs has to offer, but nothing came up revealing how great a place Milwaukee is. On a couple sites that offered lists on what to do when in Milwaukee, they mentioned a Brewers game as a thing to do. I mean, a fuckin’ Brewers game is some of the best you have to offer Milwaukee? When I queried great people of Milwaukee, Laverne and Shirley came up in the top 5. That’s what the rest of the US of A thinks, but your own people think that? Sad…So sad…
Anyhow, as uninspired as I am, the show must go on. My boys lost on Monday to CIN, as you already know. On Tuesday they won on three solo homers. Wednesday ended with a 6-7 loss in the 10th. Now, I will say one thing about the Brewers. They have some sticks on the team. Braun leads the majors with 9 dingers this season. Prince “I (h)ate my daddy” Fielder has 23 RBI, which ranks second in the majors and first in the NL. Rickie Weeks is a solid player at second base. I would say “scrappy”, but the show The League mandates that the term “scrappy” is reserved for white players. So, we’ll go with “solid”. Team AVG is second in the majors behind STL. The pitching staff is middle of the road, with Gallardo as our ace. Those last four words say it all. He’s simply an average pitcher with flashes of brilliance too few and far between. But, that is my team until Monday. It’s not too late to vote for my next team. BOS is leading the way. Voting is here: Vote for Kui's team .
Tonight, we travel to HOU for a three game set. YAY!!! I’m not cheering. I’m demanding some YAY in order to stay awake during this snoozer of a game. I can’t wait ‘til Monday. I hope inspiration comes via email, mail or a sign from God because being a Brewer fan sucks. I’m leaning towards secret fist pumps for the Cubs simply because misery is part of becoming the Cubs fan. It’s just miserable to be a Brewers fan. So, I can’t wait for Monday. I leave you with this…
Anyhow, as uninspired as I am, the show must go on. My boys lost on Monday to CIN, as you already know. On Tuesday they won on three solo homers. Wednesday ended with a 6-7 loss in the 10th. Now, I will say one thing about the Brewers. They have some sticks on the team. Braun leads the majors with 9 dingers this season. Prince “I (h)ate my daddy” Fielder has 23 RBI, which ranks second in the majors and first in the NL. Rickie Weeks is a solid player at second base. I would say “scrappy”, but the show The League mandates that the term “scrappy” is reserved for white players. So, we’ll go with “solid”. Team AVG is second in the majors behind STL. The pitching staff is middle of the road, with Gallardo as our ace. Those last four words say it all. He’s simply an average pitcher with flashes of brilliance too few and far between. But, that is my team until Monday. It’s not too late to vote for my next team. BOS is leading the way. Voting is here: Vote for Kui's team .
Tonight, we travel to HOU for a three game set. YAY!!! I’m not cheering. I’m demanding some YAY in order to stay awake during this snoozer of a game. I can’t wait ‘til Monday. I hope inspiration comes via email, mail or a sign from God because being a Brewer fan sucks. I’m leaning towards secret fist pumps for the Cubs simply because misery is part of becoming the Cubs fan. It’s just miserable to be a Brewers fan. So, I can’t wait for Monday. I leave you with this…
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